Greatest code brown stories!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 20, 2005

One of my ver first patients as a new grad nurse by myself was very restless and agitaged all morning, climbing out of bed, elderly and a bit unsteady. I'm in another room and hear "oooh Jesus help me.....oh Lord help....Lord Jesus" very loudly. I run into the room and the man is all red faced laying on his side towards the edge of the bed, and I think something is gravely wrong. I run to his side just as a huge, and I mean grapefuit/softball size huge turb comes flying out, followed by rivers and rivers of loose stool, down the bed onto the floor. The most poop I've ever seen from a skinny little man.

We get all cleaned, up. He's calm, cool and collected. Very relaxed. No longer restless and says "The Lord got that sh** out of me. Praise Jesus".

Yes I thought, "Praise Jesus". I was happy he wasn't restless anymore.

:rotfl:

Bipley · Dec 20, 2005

In a LTC setting one day was just a horror. One emergency after another, people going home sick, I was so busy I couldn't get to my office to call an agency for help. Saw the owner walking through the building, grabbed him, and told him he was our CNA for a bit. You can imagine how well that went over but when I explained what was going on he agreed.

One of our guys had been very constipated and we finally gave him 2 bottles of Mag Citrate earlier. Suddenly it worked, alllllll over the floor. It was a river of pooh. I didn't know about this, I merely heard Phil say, "Ohhhh Sh!t!" I went to look and oh my... it was certainly a river of pooh. He asked me how to clean it up, I explained you start at one end of the floor and work your way to the other.

About 10 minutes later I walked by the room and here is Phil, shovel in hand, SHOVELING pooh and putting it in the wastebasket.

Gotta give the guy credit, he was the owner. He could have easily refused and told me to do it regardless of what was going on.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Dec 20, 2005

OMG! Tweety and Bipley I am literally rolling on the floor!

ganursechick, BSN, RN · Dec 20, 2005

i work in a mental health/behavioral health unit of LTC, we have one patient, male who has an extremely high sex drive.....he is in his room as much as possible making love to his 'matress wife'....one night as i was doing fsbs checks,,,i went to his room....knocked on the door, opened it and started in.....as i did i saw him on his stomach, with his butt up in the air and he was 'going at it'...it was not until i told him that i needed to check his sugar, did i pay enough attention to him to notice the rock hard, long piece of poo sticking straight up out of his butt...it was pointed straight at the ceiling....i was mortified....especially when he put his hand between his legs and said 'pick a finger'......

i left the room, told him to get cleaned up, shower and then come to the ns and i would check his finger...man what a night that was.:rotfl:

NessaNurse · Dec 20, 2005

I had one kiddo around 7 years old. Lil guy. Night before he was completely restless, s/p hypospadias repar, so being restless and messing w. f/c are BAD. Kids mom was not usefull and so when I came on for my 2nd shift I called the MD early in the night to forwarn that I may need to call him late. Dr said no problem, and just to call him if , "the kid goes ape sh!t", (actual quote).

So anyway, middle of the night, I smell poo, I really truly do. I ask him, "honey do you need to go"

Pt, "no"

Me: Ummm... did you already go, its ok hospitals are different than home and maybe you couldnt call for help in time

Pt:NO I didnt crap!

Me:Ok then, I looked around the bed and under the pt a saw nothing but I sowre I smelled something coming

about 1/2 hr later MOM is screaming her head off (like she never saw it before ever!)

And in his bed is a poo the size of a grapefruit. HUGE

I guess I was smelling him making it or something. Well at least I offered help. The famliy was rather bizzare so the incisdent ddint seem that odd o me.

allnurses Guide · Dec 20, 2005

Well, this isn't really something that I witnessed myself, but I still think it's pretty interesting!

We admitted a woman to our floor one day not TOO long ago with a severe impaction. So severe in fact, that it had to be removed in the OR by one of our surgeons. I don't think he actually made any incisions; just somehow digitally removed it.

What he removed, was a round, about softball sized turd... with SUNFLOWER SEED SHELLS allllll mixed into the poopie. This woman had a habit of eating sunflower seeds WHOLE... and well, you see what it did to her. :rotfl:

I took care of her for a little while, the night after she had this done. She said "from now on I'll eat em' without the shells!"

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Dec 20, 2005

Used to work in a nursing home years ago. Had a patient who had a bed on the floor. He was middle-aged, but with the mind of a 2-year-old.

I was passing meds one morning and suddenly I see a little round brown ball go flying across the hallway, followed by a raucous laugh. And another. And another. It took a few times of watching this before I realized that he wasn't throwing toy balls.

The guy had discovered a way to disimpact himself and have fun doing it.

churdlpn · Dec 20, 2005

I had a lady one time c/o not feeling well all day. She said she needed to poo. i gave her MOM, and that didn't work. So I did an impaction check. Imagine my surprise to find nothing but whole peanuts. There was very little poo actually. I gave her a SSE and she was able to pass them. I told her not to eat peanuts anymore because she didn't know when to stop.

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Dec 20, 2005

These stories are great! Keep em' coming!

tlhubbard · Dec 20, 2005

Went to lunch with a fellow CNA (this was years ago, before my license). The other CNA was a very dedicated lady, very mature and caring. the best CNA you could ask for.

We come down the hall and see a diabetic resident sitting in her geri chair. She has "chocolate" all over her face, just chewing away. So this other CNA runs over (gloveless) and does a fast finger sweep and suddenly realizes this is not chocolate.

Disgusting, poor woman (CNA) could tolerate anything and had never missed a day of work. She went home sick that day.

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 20, 2005

how about code purple?

let me explain:

i was working in l/d one day; i was pregnant and wearing white maternity scrubs (the only color i could find in my small town)-----when a patient came in in hard labor and just miserable. when i asked her what she had had to eat or drink that day, the answer came quickly.

she tossed up suddenly and explosively all over my uniform, purple puke. i said, "hmmm must have had grape juice today, eh"? she sheepishly nodded.

had to borrow scrubs from our or and toss those into the trash. it was a horrible mess, to be sure---can't be exaggerated or overstated enough! yuck.