Fear of Zombies - page 3
I have this irrational fear of Zombies. It probably stems from the resident evil video games and movies that I adore... and the silent hill games that I rather enjoy as well... but I am, in fact,... Read More
Dec 10, '09Quote from MaxAttackOK but where do you kick if its a girl zombieShotguns are too bulky. You need a powerful handgun. Light, yet not burdensome enough to inhibit the ability to do your job on a regular basis.
Cmonkey's got the right idea - go for the head. It'll be messy, but it's better than a zombie eating your brain. If he does get you before you get the gun out, go for nuts. I've never tried this theory, but at that point you're out of options. Luckily they're usually slow and dumb.
OK years ago it was late one night I was helping a nurse prepare her patient for the funeral home.... She must have bumped the bed because the deceased patients arm brushed my leg... Well I jumped she screamed and mother nature took over with both of us: Sometimes what the mind knows doesnt matter when fight or flight kicks in. I thought the ward clerk would die she was laughing so hard.
Dec 10, '09I'm sorry for this because I know the OP was asking a serious question, but the post and the responses are hilarious, just what I needed after a run-me-arse-off shift. So, let me first say it's okay to be nervous around dead people if you're not used to it - so don't sweat it. Secondly, Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Oh, and ditto on the Zombie Survival Guide - it's a hoot. And personally, I'd go Ripley on it and use a flame thrower...
Dec 10, '09You're right...I was being slightly sexist and I apologize to all female zombies. Nipple twist?
Dec 10, '09Now I'm pondering all the possibilities...
Stethoscope or BP cuff + full cans of Ensure = decent projectile weapon
TB syringes, thrown like darts, wouldn't do much damage but they might distract a zombie for a few seconds
2 nurses + full med cart = battering ram and a clear path through the shuffling horde
Detachable headboards and footboards could be good for smashing heads
And cords...lots of cords...call lights, bed controls, O2/IV tubing...holy tripping hazard, Batman!
Dec 10, '09Also beware of the help-me-take-deceased pt-to-the-morgue practical joke.
One of our CNA's got into the body bag one very slow night and had the nurses call security to escort the "body" to the dark, remote and locked morgue.
The security guard (her step-brother) got a real scare when she suddenly sat up.
Dec 10, '09LOL -- this thread's a riot! Paroppy's post about the deceased making funny noises reminded me of a family story.
I have an uncle who is a commercial pilot. Many years ago when he was first starting out, he flew little puddle jumper type planes for any sort of charter that came along. One of the first jobs he took was to fly to a small town to pick up the body of a recently deceased gentleman who died during a business trip and bring him home for his funeral. Well, the only place large enough put a body was in the passenger compartment -- there is no cargo hold to speak of -- and the cabin was unpressurized (you can probably see where this is going).
Anyway, it was a stereotypically dark and stormy night when they took off -- just my uncle and the dead guy, who was bagged up & wedged in on top of the seats directly behind him. As he was climbing to altitude, the difference in pressure inside the deceased' lungs and that of the cabin caused the air to start moving out of the body -- right through the larynx. As the corpse began to go, "UUUUUUGGGHHH!!!" my uncle darn near inverted the aircraft before he realized what was happening! After that it was a very long flight, and he kept one eye on the corpse just in case.Last edit by Dogstar on Dec 10, '09 : Reason: grammatical error
Dec 10, '09Quote from LacieROTFLMAOOmg!! I love zombies!!!! Funny as recently University of Florida made national headlines with the addition of a Zombie Invasion Disaster Plan on thier website. It was hilarious but was forced to remove it the same day. Anyway I am attaching the "Plan" for you as maybe you can find some use or revision to suit your needs. I have to say I love your post and the responses. Even my sons who are avid gamers came to read and making suggestions lol.
Dec 10, '09Quote from MaxAttackExcept that they'd probably come off if you did that...You're right...I was being slightly sexist and I apologize to all female zombies. Nipple twist?
Dec 10, '09Quote from Chewie_123My shift developed a Zombie Action Plan (ZAP!!!) during an incredibly rare quiet night last week. My melee weapon if choice was the top of a two hook IV pole. Ranged weapon: O2 tank rocket. The whole thing got disturbingly detailed, really... :uhoh21:
OOH, you could lure them into the room with the O2 tanks, then fire a magnet or two into the room. That'd be sweeeeet. Better yet, stock the MRI room with tanks and switch it on after you fill it with Zs.
Also, read World War Z. Good prep ideas.
Dec 10, '09Quote from MaxAttackActually, a hard shove directly to the breast can be quite painful. You'd want to use knuckles or the base of your palm, something bony and sharp. My baby is an expert.You're right...I was being slightly sexist and I apologize to all female zombies. Nipple twist?
Dec 10, '09Quote from cmonkeySwift punch to zombie boob...check.Actually, a hard shove directly to the breast can be quite painful. You'd want to use knuckles or the base of your palm, something bony and sharp. My baby is an expert.
Dec 10, '09Quote from MeriwhenOuch! I just got an image of a boob popping off as someone did the dreaded nipple twist. Then gunk comes out. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwExcept that they'd probably come off if you did that...