Do Not Enter - No Boys Allowed; Setting Boundaries - page 2

by tnbutterfly 10,220 Views | 35 Comments Admin

DO NOT ENTER - NO BOYS ALLOWED!!! As a child, my family took yearly vacations to a location that was more than 1,000 miles away. That meant many long hours in the car, sharing the back seat with my older brother. YUCK!! We... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from Sacred eagle
    Boundary violations. In one month 3 nursing staff were fired and reprimanded by the state nursing board for
    dating patients. Interesting,these 3 nurses were female.
    Thanks for elaborating. Yes......that is a perfect example of violating professional boundaries. I will write more about that in another segment, but thanks for sharing.
    Chin up likes this.
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    Old Guy makes a good point about gender differences in nursing. Lots of people don't realize that men did the nursing in the miliary pre-Army nurses for females in 1900. I doubt if its the nursing schools keeping them out now; men are self choosing to forgo nursing. We need better recruitment.

    I think hospitals cross boundaries without penalty when they call people to come in on off days. I reached a point when I told staffing not to bother calling me because I earned my time off. I got a spill about the patients' needing me,' and I pointed out it wasn't my job to hire or fund nursing slots, but the person who had that job should be called before me. Making it to retirement means speaking up for yourself so you're not a broken down wreck that gets kicked to the curb.
    GooeyRN, jadelee, itthybitthythpider, and 1 other like this.
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    I'm having a terrible time setting boundaries w/ a tech of ours. She just won't do her work, pushes crap onto us, we go home late, she sits and takes her lunches and breaks anytime she wants ....people go to the boss about her, but somehow she is allowed to be this way due to her long term employment status . ..and we nurses just have to put up w/ it. I mean -- I have NO PROBLEM telling her the problems I have w/ her .. .the problem is .. .it will do no good and she will turn ppl against me and/or make my life even more miserable. She's a little tyrant ...and I can't stand her.
  4. 0
    Quote from SoundofMusic
    I'm having a terrible time setting boundaries w/ a tech of ours. She just won't do her work, pushes crap onto us, we go home late, she sits and takes her lunches and breaks anytime she wants ....people go to the boss about her, but somehow she is allowed to be this way due to her long term employment status . ..and we nurses just have to put up w/ it. I mean -- I have NO PROBLEM telling her the problems I have w/ her .. .the problem is .. .it will do no good and she will turn ppl against me and/or make my life even more miserable. She's a little tyrant ...and I can't stand her.

    Sounds like quite the manipulator with no boundaries. And the management is letting her get away with it, therefore they are compounding the problem. They also have boundary issues. Unfortunately you are the one bearing the burden. What would happen if you left when you were supposed to leave? I don't know what type of job you work in, but have you approached the boss's boss?
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    I'm a 41 male nursing student (December graduation yeah!). I've been back into a corner a couple of times by female CNA's; thankfully they respected my wedding ring..

    I do love when my instructors talk about the "male prerogative" ...ugh
  6. 1
    Quote from red2003xlt
    I'm a 41 male nursing student (December graduation yeah!). I've been back into a corner a couple of times by female CNA's; thankfully they respected my wedding ring..

    I do love when my instructors talk about the "male prerogative" ...ugh

    Luckily your ring is a boundary they understand and respect.
    Chin up likes this.
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    This is a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I am a male nursing student, and while I realize you didn't "mean to" make this post about gender inequities or reverse sexism, it seems to be something that exists under the surface.

    In Clinicals I always get set up with Male Patients.
    In discussion in class comments like "the nurse notices that she needs to ..." come up very often.
    When talking about Doctors they're always refereed to as "he"

    -Is there any other area of work besides Medical that is still this polarized AND entrenched?

    One would think that all the feministic rage would be tempered by at least a partial sensitivity when it swings the other way but I get a sense that I will never be allowed in a birthing center as a nurse.

    Yes... I realize that sexism swings both ways and some people think it's only fair that it happens to men from time to time (I've actually been told that a few times in discussing this with fellow students and co-workers)

    Male CNAs are always called upon for difficult transfers, what happens when there aren't any men around, does the patient not get cared for? (You may say, "Well I've never done that", but my back says you may haven't but others have) When put in a position over females, in my experience, I have to use kid-gloves at all times so I don't get complaints of being a bossy guy who thinks less of women and just orders them around. I've actually been called sexist and a chauvinist for having the gaul to remind in a polite manner a co-worker that forgot to take out the garbage after her shift (she worked 1st, I was coming on as 2nd shift) after grinning, bearing it and doing it myself for months because I didn't want to make waves, two days later I'm in a counseling session because I apparently cannot communicate effectively, it's my fault, and I'm written up for it because she played the sex-card and my side of the story was ignored, wasn't even on the counciling form I had to sign (which I refused to until they added my side of the story). Yes I know it's possible that it's a facility specific issue, but really it's not because I, and other males, have had the same issues at all the places I've worked at as a caregiver, and in conversations with the other 2 males in my class at school.

    I'm black, I HATE affirmative action, but in the case of Males working in Nursing there is a real issue with discrimination and separate standards thus far in my 5 years of CNA work and 1 year of nursing school... I really pray it will get better.

    p.s. I apologize if this seems random and not very organized, been making note cards for 3 hours now and caught this on a break and felt compelled to respond... back to it
    kaliRN, Altra, and itthybitthythpider like this.
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    Chin up, what was the name of the book? I feel like I need some help in this area, having been raised in a strong Christian family, where we were always taught to be of service to others...
    GooeyRN and itthybitthythpider like this.
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    I'm glad you took time out of your "note card making session" to respond.

    Unfortunately, gender discrimination is still alive and kicking in 2011. People will use it to try to trample on your boundaries. It sounds like you have set some good boundaries and have acted to maintain them. Sadly, you can only change the way you react to these kinds of situations and can't change the root of the problem. Females in the business world have to face similar situations. Not that it makes you feel any better. But, some things take a long time to change. Hang in there and stand your ground.
  10. 3
    Quote from *LadyJane*
    Chin up, what was the name of the book? I feel like I need some help in this area, having been raised in a strong Christian family, where we were always taught to be of service to others...
    One of the best books I have read on boundaries is called "Boundaries - When to Say Yes, When to Say No". It was written with a biblical perspective of boundaries. Like you, many Christians have been taught it is wrong to say no. This book tells how to take control of your life by setting boundaries.
    tralalaRN, Chin up, and *LadyJane* like this.


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