Dear preceptor

Ok, so this is a vent. I apologize for the length of this post. Please note that this is not meant to be a general statement of my opinion on a whole group of people. Don't flame me. I'm mad and tired and don't have anyone else to tell. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me what patients to take, and I take them. Then when I am at the bedside, communicating with the family (you know that rapport thing?), you decide that it is a great time to tell me *not to touch the patient*, or the machines for that matter unless you are there. What? I did not fall off of the nursing school wagon yesterday. I am new to your facility, but not a new grad. I did get a smug sense of satisfaction when the family told you it was fine and I was handling things.

I see that you do not have any intention of assessing my skill level or evaluating areas in which I need assistance. In your eyes, I have no skill level or even brain stem function because every action on my part is met by you with some sort of resistance or interrogation. You cant wait for me to come out of the bathroom before you call the doc... making me look like some sort of fool that cant call the doctor. Lo and behold the toilet flushes and I am greeted with 75 orders, all of which you *write* but make me *do*. Although I am a critical care nurse, and am comfortable with bedside procedures, it is *imperative * on your part to ensure that I am educated on sterile fields and how to open packages. That makes me feel so great, especially with the doc at the bedside.

Precepting with you has given me a great opportunity to practice dealing with "the cold shoulder, being aloof and unapproachable." I *know* that you aren't any of those things, just preparing me for when I run into someone who is. Thanks! I am now well versed in forced conversation, fake enthusiasm, and being lonely but not alone.

I have been practicing my mental, telepathic and psychic abilities... seeing as how there isn't any verbal interaction between us, its time to take it up a notch. *places fingertips to temples* Can you hear me now?

Here is an interesting thought. You breeze in, tell me how the lights have to be like this, and these lines need to be like this and so on. I am respectful of those requests. I like things a certain way too.. try to be mindful of that. The road goes both ways here. The same goes for documentation. Maybe you could ask me why I wrote a certain thing before you scratch it out and write error... although all the extra embellishments make my flow sheet look freakin fantastic, right?

When I ask you about something, especially when its a policy and the rationale for not following it... I just love when you get mean and flash those *knowing* looks to all your friends at the desk.

Precepting with you has been quite the experience, and as life goes, all things must come to an end. Now that our journey is finished, know that I will *never* forget you.

Love, your preceptee

im going thru it right now.

ive been a nurse in a post partum/ nursery for 6 months bc there were no jobs out there after graduation. so i finally land a m/s position bc i really want to do critical care. well my preceptor is young (26) and around my age (23), and she knows what shes doing. i on the other hand, am a green nurse.

so long story short here are the highlights: im a very driven person, so i have taken on full patient loads (5-6) since practically day one. i listen attentively, i do everything im told, i go out my way not to step on toes, im decently organized. im not a slacker when it comes to skills: i can start iv's well (practice on OB admits), NG tube placements, foley inserts, im great with sterile technique since i set up the OR for csections, d/c central lines, i could go on and on (alot of my skills were learned bc in school i always volunteered during clinicals and since i worked at a small hospital i would go down to m/s and ask if any skills needed to be done if i could do it) but when i ask if there is something i can do to do better, i get crickets.(she is the type who talks and jokes with everyone yet ignores me) i never thought i was doin a horrid job on the floor. then boom, i get the bombshell... the preceptor tells me the super wants to see me, and the super tells me maybe im not cut out for it as recommended by the preceptor and i might have to be let go. :cry:

i never had the aura that the preceptor liked me since day one. im very outgoing and friendly, but its not like im not conscientious of my pts condition or the work that needs to be done. i ask tons of questions to make sure im not missing something, yet i get no feedback. she on the other hand, and im not being judgemental, has to be center of attention. maybe its a personality conflict. maybe its a jealousy thing, as expressed by an older nurse ive known for years. i am still employed at the other facility bc they are short staff there so i left a long notice. i felt so confident i was doing well, catching on well to the paperwork and rountine (been orienting for 3 weeks now) or maybe its the enigma of being an OB nurse that i dont know what im doing on a m/s floor. im very smart, im just new to the floor so im trying to take it all in, and im so down now bc i really dont want to be derailed because of a personality conflict and/or a stereotype. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!

thankfully i have an awesome super, and im being moved to another floor with an older, more experience nurse/preceptor, who btw hugged me the first day she met me.

but im still blown away! maybe its me, maybe its my nursing skill, but seriously! i feel like ive been discarded without any bit of remediation or guidance! im so confused. i just hope it gets better, bc i dont want to leave a job that supports me during these hard financial times for one that does not seek to help me grow as a nurse.

nurses truly eat there young.

Take heart--my friend, who was 44, was precepted by a 28 year old who decided that my friend was not cut out for the ICU, and that the preceptor has "serious concerns" about the quality of my friend's training and nursing school. Which, by the way, is a very respected university nursing school in US News, etc.

My friend, after changing preceptors, had a successful career in the ICU, and is now in CRNA school.

So your ex-preceptor can go take a hike. You will SUCCEED!

Best wishes,

Oldiebutgoodie

Part of me is curious. Some facilities require nurses to perform in a "leadership" role for staff nurse III or IV status. You may have run across someone who is doing this only to complete thier clinical ladder--not because they want to do it. Also, it's sometimes really difficult to get nurses to be preceptors--potentially another case of someone doing it who really doesn't want to. Not that any of this excuses their behavior, but it may explain it.

That has been m experience twice with horrible, demeaning preceptors. I've even been told by them that is the only reason they do it.

I wish there was some sort of feedback that went to their managers at the end of these preceptorships.

That has been m experience twice with horrible, demeaning preceptors. I've even been told by them that is the only reason they do it.

I wish there was some sort of feedback that went to their managers at the end of these preceptorships.

Unfortunately, your instructor is most likely between a rock & a hard place. They have to keep a good relationship with the manager & facility to be able to keep students there, so depending on the relationship between your instructor & the manager the quality of your experience may or may not be addressed. Also, sometimes it's either a misrable preceptorship--or none at all. Unfortunate, but sometimes how it goes. I also suspect that the manager probably has a fairly good idea how it went, most of them do, unless they're completely clueless about what's going on in their unit (not usually the case)

It is unfortunate that you had this experience, hopefully you will learn for it if only what not to do. This is a great example of "nurses who eat their young". It always amazed me when experienced nurses made negative comments about new staff. I would tell them "I didn't realize you were born knowing everything"! No matter where we are in life there is always something to learn. We all need to be open to learning and willing to teach.

Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

I had not one but two horrible preceptors...."he needs a foley - have you ever done one?" "not on a male, but I know I can do it"...so in front of 5 others in the ER she blirts "WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU AT YOUR SCHOOL?? DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING??"..."its the land of oppurtunity in clinicals, and they oppurtunity did not occur" I replied.."but, I can do it"....this went on and on every day. I'd call my instructors and say "get me out of here!!" and they'd say but you live right by that hosital..hang in there..it's only 11 more shifts..you can do it. I cried and cried...I felt like scum..I allowed her to steal my zeal...and prayed she'd get a DWI from the VFW..Ms Suicial attempt x 2 Beer lover single preggers!..Then in RN school I decided I'd drive an hour to go to my preceptor clinicals...my GREAT preceptor gets a "gallbladder attack"..and I have to find a preceptor once again..My instructors happily found one for me...she was catty, uninterested in teaching, who ignored this 53 year old, like my questions bothered her, my usefullness to her, was cleaning up observation rooms, or tending to MRSA patients, I did notice when I had a patient refuse a hydrocodone she did not waste it but placed on top of the pexis..all day it sat there...I got to the point where I really did not care I was her cleaning woman and just wanted the torture to be over.....once again..my teachers said..but, that soon will pass ..you'll do great. Well, I have learned, being from a rural area, my first preceptor, has tried to commit suicide twice, and was unsuccessful, and my second preceptor from the redneck gettos of life..got fired for stealing narcotics from the patients. LET ME DO THE HIRING...Lesson for all Nursing Students..grab a preceptor quick, don't be shy about it, don't let the instructors go to the hospital and have mean nurses trying to earn brownie points or boost their self esteem by being hateful..grab you to do their dirty work..only to laugh at you...like nursing hazing..its not a good position..and it will stick with you, for years, like the Herpes Virus....Where is administration? Also we are flooded with RN's LPN's looking for jobs..and can't find them. I found a job where the turnover is extremely high, 3 year LPNs hate hate hate..newly hired grads...who can't get in the "click"...or where no compliment is ever given...where your mistakes are blown out of proportion (if your on fire..the boss looks at you..not them) so others can't see what they are doing, not takeing vitals, not charting correctly, leaving you with messy IVs, not medicating patients so that you get slammed coming on to your shift...it goes on and on. I have had a lot of jobs in my life but none has been so full of such hateful, mean spirited, people that don't get fired...its the nice ones that leave.

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

Oh dear, I hope you know all preceptors are not cut from that same cloth. I guess I've precepted a couple dozen newbies. I've not had one request a change and have even gotten small surcies (colloquialism for inexpensive gift) from many of "my Nurses." I'm sorry you had a bad experience, but now you know how, when you precept you'll know what is the right way. Good luck.

Unfortunately, for me, this type of experience has been the norm in most situations involving a preceptor. My initial preceptor out of school on peds treated me like this, and then on my second evaluation stated that she had intially thought she would have to fail me, this after 2.5 yrs of school and clinical placements with NO issues. I asked for a transfer and got one, and a wonderful older nurse who was comfortable teaching and enjoyed it. She was great.

I have been eaten alive at almost every new job, have only stayed at the ones that were friendly. Oddly, they are all in areas where I am the only RN.

I took the perioperative course a few years ago, that being the area that I dreamed of working. It was HELL. My preceptor screamed at me, I was so stressed out that I stopped sleeping, had GERDA daily, and was so relieved to be finished. I didn't stay once the course was over.

I am now afraid to try anything new, as the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

Specializes in Cath Lab, ICU's, Pediatric Critical Care.

Tabitha:

What an awesome post! As an older nurse, I am shocked by what I see! I was told, some years ago, 'teach them the right way'... by a physician. I am laughed at sometimes at work when I want to take extra precautions with my patients so that I can prevent something from happening to them!! I was lucky in my schooling and in my career to have wonderful head nurses, preceptors, etc. They did teach me the right way to do things, to do things the right way to provide the best care for my patients. And if it takes me longer, oh well, so be it! We need to help one another, nurture our relationships, and teach one another. Anyway I could go on and address each part of your post, but will keep it short.

Thank you!

Indus

Thank you all for responding to this girl. I HAVE SO MUCH EMPATHY too!! I TOO am going thru the same thing right now. I have been in tears going thru similiar trials with my terrible preceptor. I have been a nurse for almost 10 years, but NICU is a whole new ball game for me and she has me so frazzeled I can not even think for myself and I feel like a helpless little girl. To make matters worse, she has my manager thinking that I can't be independent....when in actuality, she doesn't allow me to work independently. She busts in and does all my cares when I ask one simple question. I know that this is not forever, but how do I convince my manager that I can be independent without sounding like I cant take criticism. This woman is KNOWN to be cold and not pleasant and I have heard that there was "no one else" to do it. Thankfully I have had a (day) shift preceptor that vouches for me saying that I should have been on day orientation longer due to extended low census (when I was on days). I didn't get to see much more than feeder/growers on days.....But, now I am scared to even ask a question for fear that she will tell my manager that I simply can't swing this on my own and am not cut out for NICU nursing...My manager did tell me that she wants me to be successful...And I did tell her that I don't feel that I Can't be independent and that the night shift isn't helpful-her response was that I need to show my independence....and that sometimes she gets caught in the middle with she said/he said...But she DID take my preceptors word without even considering my opinion of how it was going....Sorry for such a long post. I am so anxious because I only have 3 shifts left before my final evaluation...and 2 of the days are with someone who has only been with me once. How is she to know what I have/have not done?! Please PRAY that they will allow me to go it on my own. I am a little slow to learn, but once I have it down, if I do say so myself, I am an awesome nurse! I am passionate and professional. I just need a chance in this new position. (BTW, I am already on a 2 week extension of orientation....then after next week, they will reevaluate my progress....I have to admit, I am scared.) What can I do.....to relax. I don't know. Can someone help?

New to NICU with terrible preceptor, Not new to nursing

Hang in there! My prayers are with you. I know how hard it is to switch to different areas-and NICU is a whole other planet!

Specializes in LTC, Med Acute, Management, QA.

I think preceptors forget how hard it is. Shame on them. " Nurses are still eating there young" shame, shame.