Dear preceptor - page 8

by Ivanna_Nurse

60,033 Views | 175 Comments

Dear preceptor.. I came to you smiling, full of energy and ready to tackle the last leg of my orientation journey, with your guidance of course. I haven't really gotten any inclination on where that guidance is at. You tell me... Read More


  1. 0
    Part of me is curious. Some facilities require nurses to perform in a "leadership" role for staff nurse III or IV status. You may have run across someone who is doing this only to complete thier clinical ladder--not because they want to do it. Also, it's sometimes really difficult to get nurses to be preceptors--potentially another case of someone doing it who really doesn't want to. Not that any of this excuses their behavior, but it may explain it.
  2. 0
    Quote from zebsmom2002
    Part of me is curious. Some facilities require nurses to perform in a "leadership" role for staff nurse III or IV status. You may have run across someone who is doing this only to complete thier clinical ladder--not because they want to do it. Also, it's sometimes really difficult to get nurses to be preceptors--potentially another case of someone doing it who really doesn't want to. Not that any of this excuses their behavior, but it may explain it.
    Im pretty sure that this is exactly the case ~Ivanna
  3. 0
    Quote from Ivanna_Nurse
    Im pretty sure that this is exactly the case ~Ivanna
    I always feel doubly bad for the new grad when this happens. somehow it seems worse when someone isn't invested in preceptorship at all than when someone really wants to, but is just bad at it.
  4. 1
    this is also considered horizontal violence or bullying. This woman is a bully and then she aligns other to bully you with her when she rolls her eyes at the woman at the desk. If the woman at the desk did nothing - she also participated in the bullying. More girls and adult women "bully" more than men. This comes from a deep sense of insecurity. The best thing to do when someone treats you like this is NOT to react to their behavior. Report them and let your supervisor know. Be very specific and factual not emotional about the behavior when you describe. Address her even though she is your preceptor. Do not be disrespectful but just mention to her some of the behaviors you noticed and them also advise your supervisor that you talked with her and what the outcome is. Being around someone like that is very stressful and lead to medication errors, poor patient care, etc. SO be very careful when you are around her. Find some articles on bullying or horizontal violence and bring them with you when you talk to your supervisor about your preceptor experience. There is NO reason for someone to treat you like this. This woman and ALL nurses who act like this need to be reported and their behavior addressed. DO NOT stand by and just let this happen to you. I know - I went through the same thing with a nurse and it was very painful but I GREW so much from the experience. I actually had to get into therapy b/c I was so afraid and so hurt and so STRESSED. I have learned to address these issues the very MINUTE I see them in someone else - tactfully - but I address I them. Good luck, God bless you for being a nurse.
    Ivanna_Nurse likes this.
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    I SOOOO totally agree. This woman's preceptor is narcissistic and a BULLY - I posted below comments about bullies. Nurses in leadership roles particularly with new nurses - have a long history of BULLY them. That's why nurses get the recognition as "the only profession that eat their young". Its nurses like your preceptor that gives nursing such a bad name. She needs to be reported and written. All NEW grads reading this - if you get a preceptor like this go to your supervisor IMMEDIATELY and discuss the situation - DO NOT allow this to happen you. This person is a BULLY!!! pure and simple.
    EMTandstudentmurse likes this.
  6. 0
    TO: Registered User
    Age: 51
    Years Exp: 22
    Nursing Specialty: cardiac cardiovascular surg.
    re: your quote: Second, most of the nurses who precept do so because they are the most senior staff. They know more and have seen more than the other nurses on the unit. As a result they tend to hold thier preceptees to a higher standard than thier peers. If I precept someone, I expect they will know almost as much as me before they take over patient care- anything else is a disservice to the patient.

    I'd like to comment on that most nurses who precept do so b/c they are most senior staff. They know more and they have seen more than other nurses... this is such a "general" statement. In some hospitals this is NOT always the case. The preceptor this woman is talking about does NOT sound like "senior staff" person with leadership skills. She sounds like a bully. A nurse in a leadership role would NOT roll their eyes at their nursing student/preceptee or talk about them behind their backs. A good preceptor would address issues directly with her student - not behind her back. This nurse sounds like she might indeed have good qualities but by no means is she a good preceptor. She really should be written up - she is basically a bully.
  7. 1
    Wow! Glad you perserved, and I hope your smile and energy were waiting for you at the end of your orientation. My best to you!
    Ivanna_Nurse likes this.
  8. 5
    This made me laugh, and cry at the same time as I considered my own experience, so I thought I would share.

    Dear Preceptor,

    I came to your unit full of eagerness and excitement, willing to take whatever tasks you felt I was capable of. You dutifully gave me report and then vanished into thin air, leaving me with a critical patient while you filed your nails and texted on your cell phone. I want to thank you for that, because it gave me the opportunity to practice thinking on my feet, fending for myself, and reaching through my mental rolodex for facts I learned in class that applied to this patient. Thank you for making me realize that though I may not be ready to care for a critical patient on my own, I am no where near as incompetent as you made me feel. When I asked for help, you were nowhere to be found because lunch is so much more important that patients, but I appreciated the opportunity to learn to help myself and not depend on you. I thank you for the way you said "You need to drown" when I said to you "Help" because it illustrated for me what type of nurse I DONT want to be. Thank you for the scathing remarks about both my appearance and my intelligence, because it reminded me that it is only my opinion of myself that matters.

    Thank you for telling my instructor that I was a loose cannon, because it forced me to work twice as hard to gain her respect after I was reassigned to another preceptor. Thank you for telling me to my face that my patient would not have survived the shift without the care I provided while you stabbed me in the back by telling my instuctor that I had no skills with patients or their families. Thank you for doing absolutely no charting whatsoever because it gave me that chance to prove that I can document my actions and rationales more thoroughly than ever before. But most of all, thank you for remining me why I will be the best nurse I can be: because I care.

    Sincerely,

    Your Nursing Student.
    TLCfromSC, fiveofpeep, zebsmom2002, and 2 others like this.
  9. 1
    Phoenix, be like the bird and rise from the ashes girl Sometimes, I sincerely think that we are placed in situations that warrant us to look deeply inside of ourselves, and pull strength from within. This is just a small bump and you overcame it. Thanks for sharing your experience ~Ivanna
    zebsmom2002 likes this.
  10. 0
    Quote from RN_that_was_bullied
    TO: Registered User
    Age: 51
    Years Exp: 22
    Nursing Specialty: cardiac cardiovascular surg.
    re: your quote: Second, most of the nurses who precept do so because they are the most senior staff. They know more and have seen more than the other nurses on the unit. As a result they tend to hold thier preceptees to a higher standard than thier peers. If I precept someone, I expect they will know almost as much as me before they take over patient care- anything else is a disservice to the patient.

    I'd like to comment on that most nurses who precept do so b/c they are most senior staff. They know more and they have seen more than other nurses... this is such a "general" statement. In some hospitals this is NOT always the case. The preceptor this woman is talking about does NOT sound like "senior staff" person with leadership skills. She sounds like a bully. A nurse in a leadership role would NOT roll their eyes at their nursing student/preceptee or talk about them behind their backs. A good preceptor would address issues directly with her student - not behind her back. This nurse sounds like she might indeed have good qualities but by no means is she a good preceptor. She really should be written up - she is basically a bully.
    Good nurse and senior nurse do not always go together


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