Dear Nurses: Please Forgive Me

A letter of reflection, a plea for forgiveness, a note of encouragement for ED, ICU, and Floor Nurses, who work so hard with sometimes so little, understand where the "family members from hell" are coming from. A gentle nudge to remind that the person lying in that bed belongs to the heart of those around them. Ultimately, this is a note of deep, deep gratitude. I could never do what you do and I am so very thankful that you chose your current role. You are unique, powerful, and so important. Kindly remember. At the end of the day--remember. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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LCinTraining

308 Posts

Actually, I think your quote was rather fitting.

Liddle Noodnik

3,789 Posts

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

~~CP~~

Well would you let me hug you, cuz I feel like we both could use a good cry.

xoxo

Liddle Noodnik

3,789 Posts

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Nothing like a 7am cry to wake you up. That was a stunning article. I am but a lowly nursing student, and I can assure you I will NEVER forget this story. Thank you so much for sharing it. (((Hugs)))

NEVER lowly. Never ever. You are in such a great position right now to really get it, or not. It sounds like you get it. (((Hugs)))

RainMom

1,114 Posts

Specializes in PACU, pre/postoperative, ortho.

Tears & hugs!! This post is hitting me hard right now. A dear man who has been like a grandfather to my oldest son is on hospice & nearing the end. He's my sister's father-in-law & I've known him all my life. On top of that, Thursday, 10-4, will be 6 yrs since losing my own father. We lost him suddenly in an accident, no warnings, no goodbyes & our family has never been the same. The pain never goes away; it just dulls for a while until something happens to tear the wound wide open again.

Peace & love

echoRNC711, BSN

227 Posts

Specializes in cardiac CVRU/ICU/cardiac rehab/case management.

Thank you for sharing your heart.

Know that to let another see your heart is the real mark of courage.

Know you are braver than you think.

Know it really is ok to be afraid.

know you are enough as is.

I hear your struggle.

Time perhaps, to allow yourself a little peace.

Rest in the knowledge you have done your best.

The deepest feelings often do not require words.

To simply be present together as a witness to each other's love.

There is no rush.

You are doing beautifully.

May you feel loved.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

1 Article; 20,908 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
To those who have responded and have suffered a loss of their own:

My deepest condolences. Of all the things I wish would build camaraderie, how I wish it didn't have to be something like this.

Keila:

Do not apologize for the length of your post. Your words were perfect and your story a sharing of your courageous heart. When others would withdraw, you returned and that, my friend, is the very hallmark of integrity. Believe me when I say they remember you, even if your name has faded from their minds.

~~~~~~

And no, there is no clean cut way for this to progress. He, himself, is no longer sure how he wishes his care to continue and in what manner. Advocacy when the answers are cut and dry is easy. Advocacy when the wishes vacillate from day to day is a nightmare. And I will do nothing if not carry out his desires, be it intubation and suspension of life or a place in Hospice.

If I fail to uphold his desires, what good am I?

After all, it is not our place as nurses to pass judgment on the progression of care; rather, it is our place to uphold those choices, protect, guard, and keep them when everyone else shies away--regardless of our personal hang-ups and beliefs. I speak for those whose voice is silenced.

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.

::snicker::

Inappropriate humor is inappropriate.

I....I am so sorry.

It what we nurses do best...laugh in the face of adversity. After my Dad coded.....we waited with baited breath. The hardest and the most loving thing my sisters and I did (all nurses).....we let him go.

Specializes in LTC and School Health.

Tears****

I understand.

Specializes in ICU.

Thank you for writing this.

Mully

3 Articles; 272 Posts

Specializes in SICU.

Brilliant

Oh my I cried and cried and cried... This letter hit home hard. Thank you for sharing such an emotional piece of your life. I felt as if I could have written it myself... Thank you.

Specializes in 4.

Thank you very much for sharing as I know it was hard. I knew 20 yrs ago that I wanted to be a nurse but it was never my time. Fast forward 2004 my beautiful mother dies from pancreatic cancer. My sisters & helped our step father every day to take care of her. 2006 my other beautiful mother (stepmom) dies from pancreatic cancer. Again, my sisters & I help our father take care of her. 2008 I fly to NJ with my oldest sister & after 15 minutes with our aunt, she dies from pancreatic cancer. I felt like I was literally being suffocated. In 2009 I lost my house to a short sale & started nursing school. It took 20 yrs & the loss of my foundation to finally learn that I must follow my heart for me. On Feb 2011 I graduated as an LVN & although I have a long road ahead of me to my MSN, I have no doubt I will get there. I miss them every day & I would give anything to just hear how proud they must feel. The daughter they were afraid may never grow up did but it was after they left.

MahzieLPN, LPN

43 Posts

Dearest CP,

"Eloquent" does not even begin to describe your missive. Having been in your shoes to a particular degree, I, too, get it. Please believe me that after 25 years, it DOES get better; the painful edges aren't quite so sharp and the thoughts of your fathers aren't every moment, but still every day.

Praying for you and yours - keep your chin up as best as you can. You have a lot of friends and colleagues out here.