Dealing with pt's unhappy family

canadiannurse21 · Jun 19, 2003

I did direct the pt's family to the physician who performed the procedure. As for pt's representative--nope not in this hospital--we take the policy that if you have issues regarding your care, you go directly to the health care provider who gave the care, or to the unit manager. Which I did inform the family of. I don't really mind them coming up to me at lunch (I realize alot of families just don't think of things like that), but when I told them to talk to the physician or the unit manager (in a really nice manner), I didn't think they were going to complain about me!! LOL. My supervisor called me into her office and had no idea of the situation--she was just shocked I got such a bad complaint, because usually my pt's have very nice things to say about me:) . She did end up backing me up, and thanks to all of you for the nice words--I thought of how else I could have handled this, and I don't think I could have won either way. I realize they were really upset, and perhaps I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time:rolleyes:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2003

I can probably understand that in their distress, anger and desire to win a lawsuit they would ask you those questions. But to totally disrespect you and report you to their supervisor is borderline stupidity. Anyone with any intelligence would understand your position...duh.

Kudos to you for keeping your mouth shut. Yep, there is a lawsuit in the making.

sanakruz, ADN · Jun 19, 2003

Sounds like you have a decent manager,always a good thing.

I would take my lunch in a non public area from now on if I were you!

moonshadeau, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN, APN, NP, CNS · Jun 20, 2003

I do also agree that you did the right thing and have nothing to feel bad about at this time.

I just wanted to add that you can be the most fantastic "super" nurse can still have family members that will have a bad perception of you, regardless of what you do. I learned this on one very hard shift.

I walked on to a shift where the patient had been recieving enormous quantities of Haldol and Ativan throughout the day due to the fact that he was pulling at lines and agitated. I hate restraints and tried very hard to take off the chemical and physical restraints. I relayed my plan to the wife and daughter and they seemed in agreement. I told them that I still had the order for the restraints and would only use if absolutely necessary.

Somewhere along the line the perception that the family held of me changed during the shift. I was standing in our pyxis room when the wife came to me to have a discussion. There was one other nurse and nurse aide in the room. I stated my position on her question several times. She threw back the response, "that isn't what you just said, you are a liar". Caught me off guard with the liar part and every other slam she could throw at me. Though the other nurses backed me up that I hadn't done anything wrong, the wife would not hear of it. Everything that was said regarding me from my coworkers got mistranslated by the wife in her mind. The only way to salvage the situation was to have someone in "charge" pull her aside and listen to her concerns.

I personally think that it had something to do with age, but that is another story.

So, to make my long-winded point, Sometimes you can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try.

Interesting point was that the high flow oxygen was what was agitating him. Why was it deemed that he needed it? His pulse ox read in the 70's. Where was his pulse ox? On his forehead. Imagine my surprise when I put it on his FINGER and got 96% on RA and maintaining.

Enough rambling. Good luck to you. Make sure you document, document, document.

debRNo1 · Jun 20, 2003

Originally posted by canadiannurse21
.................and tried to get them to talk to the Dr. directly if they had questions.

This is the best response and you were correct to refer them to MD.

Originally posted by canadiannurse21
other nurses on the floor said they were discussing legal action at the time of the incident. Some nurses agree with me, some say I should have taught them all about colonoscopys and their risks.

It is NOT the nurses responsibility to explain the procedures, risks, and benefits of the procedures to the families and/or the pts. this is the DOCTORS responsibility 100 %...................

We had a few "consent" issues arise and have had a few MD's raise hell about "us" not getting the consents. When the MD has NOT explained EVERYTHING then it is NOT "informed consent" and the nurse is not responsible.

I had a pt this week- demented woman in her 90's. Lives at home with demented hubby and FT 24 hour "companions". She falls and breaks her hip and I have her pre-op. Doc calls me to give some orders and asks me to call daughter for phone consent, he says she's "ok" with it and will to give the consent. I call and she says, "I WILL NOT CONSENT".........yadda yadda yadda

I tell her to speak to MD and Im basically backing out of this one !

An hour later she appears at my nsg station to announce that she is here to sign consent !!! OK she spoke with her lawyer sis and bro who is an oral surgeon- consent signed and copy of HCP copied and placed on chart- now we are good to go. hah......

Family members are pouring in now and the room is getting crowded. Oral surgeon is playing with iv pump and inspecting the IV site- he wants a new IV inserted but HE wants to do it !!!! Lawyer daughter has her breifcase and papers strewn round the room wants a copy of the

consent she's VERY conerned about the anesthia !!?? I remind her of the HIPPA laws and tell her that the aneesthia MD will be around to see the pt so she could ask all her questions then, I also explain that the consent is not specific in that respect.

she looks me up and down and says, IM A LAWYER and HER HCP". Im not intimidated like she THOUGHT i would be and again refer her to the doctors involved.

The companion told me she was the "neice" come to find out she is not even related and just a "hired" hand !!?? Had house MD insert a new line, had the dietician come, called PMD and asked for ALL the meds "they" wanted her to have- got screamed at and got NO med orders !!

They seem so very concerned and are the biggest PIA's on the unit, she's NWB for 6 weeks and now the big discussion is NO REHAB !!! She cant stay on my unit for 6 weeks PLEASE.....

They rode me so bad yesterday, shes in pain, cant swallow pills, needs a shot, needs to be cleaned, turned, cant eat the food, oh poor daddy he is so tired, oh poor me Im doing so much and Im the best daughter in the world, companion says the pt smells like c-diff.....................GOOD GREIF

Needless to say I wont take THAT assignment this weekend.

And finally Ill say.......

I LOVE MY JOB and I LOVE NURSING

:roll

deb

sanakruz, ADN · Jun 20, 2003

...Smells like c-diff! Oh my aching back....! You poor baby!

>>>

mattsmom81 · Jun 20, 2003

WHY are there so many family members like this today???

nialloh, RN · Jun 20, 2003

A true day from hell, best of luck with them.

Nurse Ratched, RN · Jun 20, 2003

You done good . There was no way for you to say anything that wasn't going to fly back in your face later.

MandyInMS · Jun 20, 2003

Maybe it's just me becoming old and paranoid..but seems like everyone these days is LOOKING for a lawsuit..in this case the family seems to have a good reason..but sooooo many are just like vultures waiting and watching and inventing things to sue for -sighs- I would have directed the family to management as well...just askin for trouble with any negative remark reguarding the MD...of course you can understand that they are upset...hell, I would be too....sooooo many times I've wanted to tell a pt or family to go to another hospital to have a procedure/surgery done (work in small rural hosp) but never would I slander a MD...but if asked what I would do if it were me- I would be honest and say that I'd go to a specialist for whatever the problem may be...that way I'm not negatively remarking about anyone or my facility.