Crossing the line of professionalism - page 3

Is there anything wrong with becoming personally involved with a client? How do you as a nurse maintain professional relationships with your patients? What are some warning signs that the... Read More

  1. by   SmilingBluEyes
    no one is eating anyone here, I don't like being used. I am a willing mentor under the circumstances of MY choosing. THAT is my right. if you call that young-eating, so be it.
  2. by   fab4fan
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    no one is eating anyone here, I don't like being used. I am a willing mentor under the circumstances of MY choosing. THAT is my right. if you call that young-eating, so be it.
    Well spoken!
  3. by   Agnus
    I am sorry you feel used. Are you not reacting to some past injury and striking out at this poor student? Were you really injured by this?
    Somehow my senses tell me it was not her intent to trick anyone. She would not have told us this if it were. Come on lighten up. Me thinks you take your self too sereiously. You were injured, huh?
  4. by   Buddha
    I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD THREAD!! Personally I thought who has the most to lose is Agnus she had the most advice to offer.(my fingers hurt reading her reply. ) Just a bit of advice to all nursing students please be forthwright with the members here they all have a lot to offer.


    :kiss
    Last edit by Buddha on Jan 30, '03
  5. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by Buddha
    I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD THREAD!! Personally I thought who has the most to lose is Agnus she had the most advice to offer.(my fingers hurt reading her reply. ) Just a bit of advice to all nursing students please be forthwright with the members here they all have a lot to offer.


    :kiss
    I appreciate your sentement. I still have everything that I had when this thread started. I did not loose anything. Just like you don't loose anything by giving away a smile.

    I don't respond to any thread that I don't want to. I answered because she asked. I answered to help someone. As I answered I was very conscious to the fact that I did not know if this was a theoretical question or that she was in trouble. She did not state that she personally was having a problem. It did not matter the reason. She was seeking knowledge, oponions.
    She had an assignment to talk to nurses about this issue. Maybe your issue is with nursing instructor who give these assignments. Sheez

    Some folks on this board have previously expressed the opinion that asking us questions is tantamount to cheating and doing the student's work. For some reason it is ok to seek informantion only if it is not tied to a school assignment.
    Sounds like sour grapes. "I didn't/couldn't get help this way when I was a student so why should I help you."

    If this is really this important to you and you feel defiled then ask the person before answering if this is a school assignment. She had no way of knowing you felt this way. (she is not a mind reader) She did not ask you personally. She is not obligated to post a disclaimer because someone might nurse some imagined injury if they answer. You were not obligated to answer.
  6. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    no one is eating anyone here, I don't like being used. I am a willing mentor under the circumstances of MY choosing. THAT is my right. if you call that young-eating, so be it.
    ditto.....i am growing tired of every imigined slight to a newbie being referred to as "eating our young"...
  7. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    I don't like being used. I am a willing mentor under the circumstances of MY choosing. THAT is my right.
    If you have conditions that must be met for you to give an opinion or information then you need to state them up front.

    If one expects a consulting fee they don't give away the information before mentioning thier fee.
  8. by   mattsmom81
    Agnus, usually we agree but in this case I feel you're a bit harsh.

    Are we really helping students by giving them all the answers and spewing forth info for them to print out and copy? Not in my opinion. Will they be the next generation to cut and run their first year out of school...unprepared for the real work out there?

    I don't think you were addressing me but I would like to answer anyway. Yes, I HAVE been put upon by quite a few new grads who demanded no less than total 'brain drain' from me...with zero effort on their side. I bet others here have too. This seems to be a common nursing school mentality today...just show up and get the lecture and all the answers...but it really shouldn't work this way in nursing school (IMHO)....nursing is a hands on career that demands much from us. Why not teach students this early on?

    I have learned through the years to ask something from new nurses when they come to me......and that is tell me where they're at in the learning process and do some homework FIRST...THEN come to me for clarifications/questions. I think this is the most helpful to both parties.
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Originally posted by Agnus
    If you have conditions that must be met for you to give an opinion or information then you need to state them up front.

    If one expects a consulting fee they don't give away the information before mentioning thier fee.

    Geez this post is really over the top. Utterly. I mentioned nothing of the sort; twist away at will. All I ask for is honesty.....if that is too much to ask, well then. They come in here...take take take...offer NADA in way of support or anything for anyone in return. They show up, get what they want and disappear. I don't think it's a lot to ask to be UPFRONT w/us at the very LEAST. I really don't .....over and out.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jan 30, '03
  10. by   CountrifiedRN
    I agree with Agnus, I don't think she intentionally tried to trick anyone. She was given an assignment and a list of possible resources. Being new here, and maybe even new to the internet, she may have been unaware of "message board etiquette" related to school assignments. I don't think it's anything to get angry over.
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    well then, let us make her aware. That was what I tried to do, nicely.... I did so in my first post very POLITELY, If I say so myself. I was not rude, or nasty. But the posts I am getting back really kinda shock me. I am not even angry at the OP, but the responses from people who have seen my posts time and again and KNOW me better. That is what is getting to me, here. But hey, it's a free speech society here. And I like the idea of a etiquette reminder.....it would save misunderstanding such as this. If I am in the wrong, here fine. but let's not get silly w/assumptions.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jan 30, '03
  12. by   llg
    Wow! Has this thread taken an interesting turn!
    Here's my $.02.


    I don't mind anwering students' questions sometimes, but I think they should be up-front about who they are and why they are asking. That gives me the opportunity to make up my own mind about joining or not joining in. In this particular case, I believe the student asked politely and didn't mean any harm: she just didn't think to let us know the situation.

    In the related issue about students using "us" to do much of their work ... I, too, have sometimes felt used and abused by students -- not just on this website, but in my work environment. My colleagues and I (in advanced practice and hospital education roles) regularly get requests from students to do their homework for them. It happened again just yesterday.

    Most often, students call asking if we have articles etc. on topics of interest to them. Before spending an hour or two trying to help them, I have now learned to ask questions such as, "Have you done a computer search? Have you looked in any books related to your topic? Have you been to the library?" etc. You'd be amazed at how many nursing students students tell me they have NEVER been to the library and don't know how to do literature search. Apparantly, they would rather call someone like me and ask us to donate our time to doing their homework for them. I send those people to the library.

    When I taught at a university a few years ago, I was amazed to have a junior-year student tell me that she had never been to the library before. And she wasn't the only student in the class who was overwhelmed at our assignment to go the library (in the same building as class), look at a few nursing journals (we gave them a suggested list) and write 3-4 pages on any topic that interested them. A few told us they had never had to write a paper before and they appeared unable to construct a simply paragraph.

    It worries me that so many nursing students are failing to learn the basic academic skills of looking up information, interpreting it, organizing it, coming to conclusions about it, and communicating their findings and impressions. If students don't learn those things in school, how can we trust them to be good consumers of the nursing literature in the future?

    I guess it's just easier to ask other people what they think and write down what they say than to actually do the work yourself -- and unfortunately, too many faculty members let them get away with it.

    That's why I am cautious about helping students and would like to know under what conditions I am giving away my thoughts -- the products of my intellectual efforts. I don't mind helping students who have done their part and need a little assistance. I do mind being pestered by students who are using me because they are too lazy to do the work themselves.

    llg
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Originally posted by llg
    Wow! Has this thread taken an interesting turn!
    Here's my $.02.


    I don't mind anwering students' questions sometimes, but I think they should be up-front about who they are and why they are asking. That gives me the opportunity to make up my own mind about joining or not joining in. In this particular case, I believe the student asked politely and didn't mean any harm: she just didn't think to let us know the situation.

    In the related issue about students using "us" to do much of their work ... I, too, have sometimes felt used and abused by students -- not just on this website, but in my work environment. My colleagues and I (in advanced practice and hospital education roles) regularly get requests from students to do their homework for them. It happened again just yesterday.

    Most often, students call asking if we have articles etc. on topics of interest to them. Before spending an hour or two trying to help them, I have now learned to ask questions such as, "Have you done a computer search? Have you looked in any books related to your topic? Have you been to the library?" etc. You'd be amazed at how many nursing students students tell me they have NEVER been to the library and don't know how to do literature search. Apparantly, they would rather call someone like me and ask us to donate our time to doing their homework for them. I send those people to the library.

    When I taught at a university a few years ago, I was amazed to have a junior-year student tell me that she had never been to the library before. And she wasn't the only student in the class who was overwhelmed at our assignment to go the library (in the same building as class), look at a few nursing journals (we gave them a suggested list) and write 3-4 pages on any topic that interested them. A few told us they had never had to write a paper before and they appeared unable to construct a simply paragraph.

    It worries me that so many nursing students are failing to learn the basic academic skills of looking up information, interpreting it, organizing it, coming to conclusions about it, and communicating their findings and impressions. If students don't learn those things in school, how can we trust them to be good consumers of the nursing literature in the future?

    I guess it's just easier to ask other people what they think and write down what they say than to actually do the work yourself -- and unfortunately, too many faculty members let them get away with it.

    That's why I am cautious about helping students and would like to know under what conditions I am giving away my thoughts -- the products of my intellectual efforts. I don't mind helping students who have done their part and need a little assistance. I do mind being pestered by students who are using me because they are too lazy to do the work themselves.

    llg

    And I leave this thread in total agreement w/this post. You said what I wish I had in a much more eloquent way. Thank you.:kiss

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