Criticized for being nervous . . .

[MakeAWish]

Hi

I am a new grad RN. This is my first job. I have been trying very hard to do well.

I had been on the floor about 5 weeks when my preceptor and I had to meet with the nursing supervisor to discuss my progress. All the preceptor could say about me was that I needed to loosen up and not be nervous

(no positive feedback).

I tried to defend myself by saying that I was nervous because I am doing new things and am new to everything here. I explained that the nervousness would decrease as I gained more experience and confidence. Now I am angry that I even had to explain this. It seems to me that any idiot would realize that you are nervous in a new situation like this! Also, SHE makes me nervous because she has been telling me since the second week that I need to hurry up, hurry up, I am not doing things fast enough. I think anyone would be nervous with a preceptor hovering over you, telling you that!

I guess I let this B _ _ _ _ walk all over me because I didn't stand up for myself and say "I am learning. I need time to learn. Please don't tell me to hurry up."

Here is what I think: She is overworked, very impatient, and is expecting way too much from me as a new grad. She has never precepted a new grad before. I am slowing her down, and she resents it. I really hate going to work now because I absolutely hate working with her.

I would like to know your thoughts on this. I'm sure it is probably very common, and as a "lowly nurse" I am supposed to just suck it all up, which I will. It just irks me because I don't think I would ever treat someone like this. I think there are a few good, quality people who respect others, but then there are very many people like this preceptor who are just total jerks.

I appreciate your feedback, could definitely use some encouragement. Thanks.

[caliotter3]

I hear a GREAT evaluation....if all they can come up with is you being nervous (which, by the way is normal), you're doing well- CHILL !!! :) At least they didn't have a pile of 47 incident reports on the same issue, or a pile of write-ups

:hug:

This. I hope you were able to get your negative feelings out in your post and can approach the situation with a smile and a positive outlook. I certainly wish all anyone ever had to say about me was that I was nervous! You are doing well from what I see.

[snazzy-jazzy, BSN, RN]

Sounds good if thats all that she could say about you. It might mean you need to give yourself more credit and not be so nervous because she obviously doesn't think you have anything to be so nervous about.

I remember being told I was a quiet achiever by my Clinical Instructor in 2nd year and I thought 'does that mean I should be more assertive, more outspoken' until she told me it was a good thing and I need to give myself more credit. It helped build my confidence and maybe that is what she is trying to do as well.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Remember in nursing school how they taught us that a certain level of anxiety makes it harder for a patient to hear what we are saying and how much less information a person can retain?

Maybe that is what your preceptor is telling you.

I read many posts where the new grad is expecting the world from their preceptors and have many expectations of them, and yet cut them no slack for being less than perfect.

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

It sounds to me like your preceptor is overall saying you are going a good job and that you just need more confidence and to move faster (incidentally, at my current job at the ED I was told this as well--and I was not a new nurse when I took this job).

I also need to paraphrase Ronald Reagan: "here we go again." This preceptor did not question your competency, she did not say you are a dangerous nurse, she did not put down your value as a human. (And for those who want to jump to this conclusion, she is not guilty of "eating the young." ) She told you that you need to move faster--something very important on a busy unit--and that you need to project more confience--important for pt's to see that their nurse is confident in his/her skills. From you description, your preceptor did nothing to earn the title of "idiot" or "b***h." It sounds to me like she wants to see you succeed. To do this, it needs to be clear that she is not your best friend (for now) and that she needs to be honest about changes you need to make to be successful on the unit.

It sounds like overall you are doing a good job...take her constructive criticism constructively. Work on gaining confidence and on moving faster, and you will become a well rounded nurse on the unit.

[richardgleaton]

I can understand your situation..Nervousness comes when you are new to anything and started from very beginning,but after sometime you will be confident when you gain a little..So try to involve in situations and handle it carefully..

[FLmomof5]

I am an OLD new grad and my preceptor is my daughter's age. In my life, I have been to hades and back. So what?

I get 'nervous' when my preceptor is hovering because I don't like to fail. It doesn't mean I won't fail. I had a shift where they gave me 3 high acuity patients and 2 low......I was putting in an IV and my nervousness showed. My preceptor called my name and told me to RELAX! I successfully put the IV in .... and then my preceptor shared with me how my nervousness shows when I get behind or start feeling overwhelmed and that I may be expecting too much of myself. She ALWAYS qualifies it with "I am not criticizing..." Hey! I didn't take it that way! She is sharing what SHE sees and as a result, what patients and families see.

*I* need to chill! I love her feedback. I don't care how young she is, she had taught me so much and has saved my butt a time or two already because we double check everything!

If all they have to bring up is your nervousness, you are doing well. You may need to take a deep breath and calm down a sec or two....just like me!

Breathe......in the nose, out the mouth..... and you will be a great nurse!

[Rico84]

OMG NOO!!.. this preceptor is treating you like a STUDENT AND YOU HAVE A LICENSE!.. she needs to get checked ASAP by you!!.. You don't need to go by anyones speed but your own. If you keep rushing your going to make a error and then it looks bad on you in your orientation phase!.. I'm in orientation now too and my preceptor doesnt stand over me thank god but I go as slow as i go and ask her to do things for me because what else is she doing. In my first week I kept saying, 'im so nervous, im so nervous, i dont want to mess up' and my manager said to me, If you weren't nervous, I would be nervous, bc an over confident new nurse who thinks they know it all, will make a mistake bc they never thought to ask any questions!..:)

[neatnurse30]

There is nothing wrong with being nervous if you are new to the skills and procedures required on your unit. I was a nervous wrack as a new grad too! I must say that a lot of times the preceptor can make a new grad unnecessarily even more stressed out. I have seen that and in that case, it is good to change preceptors for your own sake. Some people are quicker learners than others ( I was kind of a slow learner...) and a good preceptor should recognize that rushing a new grad is not a good idea.

[I love my cat!]

I was a nervous wreck as a student Nurse and even as a new Nurse in the Nursing Home. Seriously. My hands would shake-I cried almost every night for months. I also had an instructor that would keep reminding me that my nervousness showed. Ya, that did not help. Instead of kind words of encouragement-just humiliation. (I HATED that instructor.)

Anyway, with experience comes confidence. Pretty soon, you will have been on the floor for 6 months and you will realize that you are working with someone on their 6th day! They will be asking you questions and guess what-you will be answering a lot of them! That will not only help them, but will also build your confidence.

Nursing is scary. Another instructor (who was amazing) use to always tell us: "If you feel that you never mistakes and situations never make you nervous-it is vacation time because you are now a dangerous Nurse".

[BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN]

Without knowing anything about you, and basing it solely on your post, I may have to agree with your preceptor. Why is she a b****? BecUse she have some constructive feedback? While I do realize that we experienced RNs sometimes think that new RNs and students are slow, I actually didn't hear that in your post. She TD you that you are not relaxed, that's it. Stop looking for problems, and psychoanalyzing why she hates you.indtead, listen to what she has to say, and learn as much as you can from her, before you're on your own.