C'mere and share your on-the-job laughs!

  1. family wants patient dc'd asap, they say. they're tired, patient is tired and what is the holdup anyway. where is this doc, that doc, the other doc.
    we're just frustrated because we all want to get patient out of here.
    right. we get it.

    finally the last consulted doc--a psychiatrist--comes breezing in, talks to patient for about 45 minutes, then to family, then to charge nurse, then to yours truly. we all agree that patient is good to go.

    doc is about to leave when suddenly the family wants to talk to him again out of earshot of the patient. i see the doc listen, nod, then come over to where i'm sitting. he leans forward conspiratorially, looks around to see if patient is nearby and says,

    "ummm...you know that we're going to discharge 3b."

    i nod.

    "ummm, the family has a request."

    i nod expectantly.

    "ummm...they don't want the patient to know she's being discharged."

    i leaned toward him and stage whispered back, "but doc, don't you think she's going to find out?"

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  2. 45 Comments

  3. by   TazziRN
    Just happened today but I'm afraid it's a bit off color......
  4. by   SCRN1
    My nurse manager recently accidently squirted a whole syringe of $2000.00 Epogen on the floor. Now I have something to hang over his head if he ever disciplines me for a mistake.

    (I don't know if it really costs that much, but that's what he said.)
    Last edit by SCRN1 on Feb 18, '07
  5. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from TazziRN
    Just happened today but I'm afraid it's a bit off color......
    please share..
  6. by   GardenDove
    Where would I start? I have so many stories I've forgotten them all!
  7. by   GardenDove
    Quote from SCRN1
    My nurse manager recently accidently squirted a whole syringe of $2000.00 Epogen on the floor. Now I have something to hang over his head if he ever disciplines me for a mistake.

    (I don't know if it really costs that much, but that's what he said.)
  8. by   BBFRN
    When I worked in trauma, I had a Spanish-speaking patient with a brain injury, who knew a little English. Unfortunately, most of those words were 4-letter words...lol.

    Well, once he started to become more aware, he would scream out, "Help, help!" almost constantly. When I entered the room, he grabbed my hand, and said, "Aye, help me, mommy." I said, "Mr. R_____, I am not your mommy, I'm your nurse. Are you able to tell me what you need? He goes, "Aye, help me, M-F'er!" I told him it was rude to call me a M-F'er. So he says, "Aye, please help me, MISS M-F'er!"

    I couldn't help but crack up! I promptly borrowed a language line from another unit...lol.
  9. by   RNsRWe
    Quote from angie o'plasty, rn
    family wants patient dc'd asap, they say. they're tired, patient is tired and what is the holdup anyway. where is this doc, that doc, the other doc.
    we're just frustrated because we all want to get patient out of here.
    right. we get it.

    finally the last consulted doc--a psychiatrist--comes breezing in, talks to patient for about 45 minutes, then to family, then to charge nurse, then to yours truly. we all agree that patient is good to go.

    doc is about to leave when suddenly the family wants to talk to him again out of earshot of the patient. i see the doc listen, nod, then come over to where i'm sitting. he leans forward conspiratorially, looks around to see if patient is nearby and says,

    "ummm...you know that we're going to discharge 3b."

    i nod.

    "ummm, the family has a request."

    i nod expectantly.

    "ummm...they don't want the patient to know she's being discharged."

    i leaned toward him and stage whispered back, "but doc, don't you think she's going to find out?"

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    [color=#483d8b]
    i really did lol on that one :d

    what goes through some people's heads?

    i'm sorry to say that most of my on-the-job laughs aren't so funny to me at the moment as they are aggravating....things that may be funny in a few years, but right now make me a bit crazy!
  10. by   UM Review RN
    I had a sweet LOL who was just the cutest lil thang, about 4'2" and weighed about 70 pounds!

    We got along great, everything was hunky-dory at the start of the shift. The tech and I were doing rounds together and we went into this LOL's room to get her vitals.

    The tech woke her up while I was still standing in the doorway.

    "Hi there, Mrs. B!" I said brightly.

    "YOU! You're THE DEVIL!" She didn't actually say this so much as hiss it as she leapt off the bed at me.

    Mary said later that the stunned look on my face was priceless.

    Eventually the patient was subdued, medicated, restrained, and the wounds of all the staffers who helped get her back to bed were dressed and documented.

    We were all up at the desk by then. The tech was telling the monitor tech what had been going on in the room and finished by saying, "I'm not really sure I want to work with Angie--I mean, the devilllllllll--anymore."

    We ended up getting an end-of-shift admit to top it all off. At least she was a/o X3, a simple Chest Pain admit. So the tech and I went into the new patient's room to get vitals.

    "Hello, I'm your tech Mary," introduced the tech.

    "Hi," I said, smiling brightly. "I'm.."

    But I never got the words out because I looked at Mary, who was still snickering over the sweet LOL-turned-rabid, and Mary cut me off with a mock hiss, "Yes, tell the patient who you are."
  11. by   TazziRN
    Okay, since someone asked!!!

    The doc I worked with yesterday lives an hour from here. Our docs do 24-hour shifts in the ER and stay in a sleep room. He came to me and asked if we had any AA and AAA batteries, and I handed him some. (This just slipped out, I was almost shocked that I'd said it) I just looked at him and said "If you need your toy that badly, just bring your wife with you next time!"

    Dead silence for a second or two, then gut-busting laughter. From him too!!
  12. by   annmariern
    " had a sweet LOL who was just the cutest lil thang, about 4'2" and weighed about 70 pounds!

    We got along great, everything was hunky-dory at the start of the shift. The tech and I were doing rounds together and we went into this LOL's room to get her vitals.

    The tech woke her up while I was still standing in the doorway.

    "Hi there, Mrs. B!" I said brightly.

    "YOU! You're THE DEVIL!" She didn't actually say this so much as hiss it as she leapt off the bed at me."
    Oh, I think we had the same pt, different country, same deal, except mine was unresponsive and apparently dying when I came on shift. Then she woke up, pointed at me and hissed "you are a fiend from hell!". Then proceeded to try and strangle me! Been called some things but.....
  13. by   EarthChild1130
    When I worked mental health, had a pt. who would come in for what she called 'tuneups' every 6 months or so...well, she'd been forced in this time for calling the police ALL the time and accusing her neighbors of cutting up bodies and putting them in her trash can outside...anyhow, after a couple of days she was a little calmer, but she was fully aware of and educated about her illness, and she would come to the desk at night and say things like 'Do you hear any music? Because I hear 'Amazing Grace' being sung' or something like that...and I would reassure her that I didn't hear anything, and off she'd go back to bed...well, ONE night she came running to the desk, and said 'I want you to come to my room...I hear men laughing!' I walked down the hall with her, into her room, and stood there listening for a second, and opened my mouth to reassure her that, no, I didn't hear any men talking, when I HEAR a male voice say 'I've almost got it, John!' Well, I nearly jumped out of my skin, and she said 'O my god, are you turning schizophrenic too?' (I laughed about THAT line later) I ran up to the desk and called the switchboard to tell them we heard voices in a patient's room...they thought I was kidding (their phone screen showed 'Psychiatric Services') and only after I called the House Supervisor did she say 'O geeze, I forgot to tell you that there would be guys working on the air conditioning system tonight!'

    I can't wait to get back to working mental health...I sure do miss it! Never a dull moment!!
  14. by   DizzyLizard
    Okay, couldn't resist. I was working as a CNA and was in a semi-private room emptying trash cans when I heard the conversation. "a" bed was talking to her family about her near death experience and phrased it as "knocking on deaths door" The confused lil lady in "b" bed blurted out, as long as death doesn't answer it's all good and your still here!

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