Bizarre Co-Worker Rant!

Nurses General Nursing

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We currently have had a very seasoned nurse on our cc float team for the past year who transferred from endoscopy back to the units (tele/icu float). She is a knowledgeable nurse, a bit rough around the edges (potty mouth, bossy, and a bit know it all ish) but is funny and quite helpful on the unit.

Just... one... thing

She seems to have a very odd albeit respected hang up about how to be addressed.

So she has a first and last name which both are typically used as first names (for example: Sarah,Kelly, or John, Michael, you get what I'm saying)

Our unit/hospital culture is semi-formal. We address one another mostly by last name as Ms or Mr. so and so but sometimes we also use first names or just call one another by last name without using Ms or Mr.

Well this nurse has a major Hangup about being called her last name without saying Ms. first ???

I believe because she basically has two first names some may have accidentally mixed up her first and last name and called her Kelly, thinking it is her first name as we don't work with her often because she is not regular unit staff. It doesn't happen often as like I said we are pretty formal with addressing one another.

She also doesnt make it clear that calling her "Kelly" is offensive somehow to her and so when someone makes the mistake of calling her so, she gets loud and angry and we've witnessed her saying verbatim "that is disrespectful and low class to call me "Kelly" my name is Ms. Kelly!!!!!!!

So I worked with her recently and we were having a pretty good night (her making jokes and telling her usual stories as most pts were thankfully stable) up until I called to her from down the hall asking for a spare bag of levophed she said I could borrow.

I said Ms. Kelly could I borrow that bag of levophed?. I guess she didn't hear the "Ms" part and reached in her med cart, slammed it shut and handed me the bag of medication while turning bright red and stuttering that she would write the next person up who referred to her as "Kelly" instead of Ms. Kelly??? and stormed off.

It all happened so fast before I even could figure what had happened she had picked herself up and sat at the opposite end of the nurses station and then disappeared to the tele side of the floor for a few minutes and refused to speak to me for the rest of the shift.

It it was so bizarre I had no clue what to do? I've heard her blow up about this before and am very careful to say "Ms." before her last name, but this is borderline ridiculous. She is upset that people can't read her mind and are calling her by her actual last name???

She says it's not classy to refer to her without the "Ms." yet she doesn't hesitate to use profanity when telling her stories or expressing herself and has made unsavory comments routinely. In fact she has had it out with the ADON numerous times even hanging up the phone on her over a policy issues, openly calling the manager an idiot, and being a know it all.

I'm honestly nervous to work with her because of how easily angered she became that night. I've never heard of anyone in this day and age demand ppl be so formal with them (outside the usual reasons) esp with her being quite informal and brash herself.

How bizarre and is the name Kelly offensive? Idk

Specializes in Hospice.

Calling each other by last names may be weird, but I find keeping levophed in a med cart weird too.

What I find bizarre is why you all don't just refer to each other by your first names? I just keep coming back to that.

My thoughts exactly.

Granted, I'm not an American and there are some differences between our cultures but I truly didn't realize that workplaces as formal as the one OP's described still exists. In my part of the world (Scandinavia) no one has addressed coworkers (or anyone else for that matter) Mr., Mrs. or Ms. since the 1950s. If I were to address a person in their nineties as Mr. or Mrs., that wouldn't be interpreted as a sign of respect, but either as condescension or best case scenario; toungue-in-cheek, good-naturedly formal. We've been all first names since the early/mid sixties. I know that not all countries are quite this way, we are at the extreme end on the relaxed/non-formal scale.

I said Ms. Kelly could I borrow that bag of levophed?. I guess she didn't hear the "Ms" part and reached in her med cart, slammed it shut and handed me the bag of medication while turning bright red and stuttering that she would write the next person up who referred to her as "Kelly" instead of Ms. Kelly??? and stormed off.

It all happened so fast before I even could figure what had happened she had picked herself up and sat at the opposite end of the nurses station and then disappeared to the tele side of the floor for a few minutes and refused to speak to me for the rest of the shift.

I'm honestly nervous to work with her because of how easily angered she became that night. I've never heard of anyone in this day and age demand ppl be so formal with them (outside the usual reasons) esp with her being quite informal and brash herself.

Hmm... If I worked with a person like this, especially in an environment where it's considered normal to address each other in such a formal manner, I would respect their wish and address her formally. It certainly seems very important to her and it doesn't really take much of an effort to on my part. But, I would never completely trust and let my guard down with a person who has demonstrated such a volatile mood and who is so easily slighted. To me the reaction is much too strong to be entirely balanced/sound. I guess it's possible she has a valid reason to be sensitive regarding this, but in my opinion the response is still way over the top.

Calling each other by last names may be weird, but I find keeping levophed in a med cart weird too.

Indeed.

Calling each other by last names may be weird, but I find keeping levophed in a med cart weird too.

Well said. Levophed is one heck of a drug.... requires a pharmacy check for sure . I could kill anybody with that administration. Please check me on this.

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Have you asked her about it?

Regarding the levophed we work in an ICU and that day pharmacy had mix an extra bag of levophed as the patient was on a high dose and running through the bag in a short period of time. She had an additional bag she did not need and I needed a bag stat on my patient.

We even mix our oven levophed in times of emergencies when someone goes hypotensive suddenly and can not wait for pharmacy to send it up. We stock 8mg vials on unit for this reason.

Not strange lol.

Have you asked her about it?

Too scared too, she might wreck the place if we do.

Regarding the levophed we work in an ICU and that day pharmacy had mix an extra bag of levophed as the patient was on a high dose and running through the bag in a short period of time. She had an additional bag she did not need and I needed a bag stat on my patient.

We even mix our oven levophed in times of emergencies when someone goes hypotensive suddenly and can not wait for pharmacy to send it up. We stock 8mg vials on unit for this reason.

Not strange lol.

Far from LOL. Another thread here. I am proud to say I am a former ICU nurse... and know my stuff. Would do it in a code, ( 15/15 rule) but noway I would hang a vasopressor like that on my own. Your facility is putting you, your patient, and your license at risk. The pharmacy check is necessary. I met them in the hallway.. making sure it was the right drug,right patient and the right dose.

Specializes in Critical Care.

I had a supervisor that would speak to me with my last name only and I didn't appreciate that. Felt it was rude and disrespectful as the normal culture is to call people by their first name, but I never called her on it. Nor would I have a tantrum over it. Why not just call her by her first name? Problem solved.

She needs an anger management class. I have worked with another who was like that. Unfortunately, not much you can do... and I'm guessing she's not the forgive/forget type. Even if she were, who wants to be walking on eggshells around her? My advice would be to avoid her. Strictly as needed communication. Keep a record of incidents should she become more hostile.

Specializes in Psychiatric and emergency nursing.
Far from LOL. Another thread here. I am proud to say I am a former ICU nurse... and know my stuff. Would do it in a code, ( 15/15 rule) but noway I would hang a vasopressor like that on my own. Your facility is putting you, your patient, and your license at risk. The pharmacy check is necessary. I met them in the hallway.. making sure it was the right drug,right patient and the right dose.

While this may be your experience, in both EDs I have worked in, we had a stock dose of Levophed in the Pyxis and IV pumps pre-programmed with common doses of Levophed with a lockout above a certain dose. It required an RN double check, but pharmacy was not consulted. If a patient's BP was poor enough that we needed Levophed, we didn't have time to wait for pharmacy to mix it and get it to us. We also kept Levophed in the crash carts along with dopamine and Vasopressin.

Going back to the OP, I agree with the others on the possibility of military, different culture, etc. Just call her whatever she wants to be called in order to keep the peace; not that big a deal in the grand scheme. Her reaction was a bit extreme, though.

OP, are you in the US? I have never heard of calling nurses Mr, Ms etc. If US, it must be highly regional. Also, if that is a semi-formal unit culture, I hate to see a formal one! Top hats and coattails?

Specializes in Emergency / Disaster.

I live in the South and here we call everyone Ms. First Name or Mr. First Name. Pretty much anyone your same age and older for sure, and then most people you are addressing as adult figures in front of children. We teach our children that this is the proper way to address other adults. She'd really get angry with me because you are either Ms. First Name or mam or whichever comes out first.

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