backstabbers, 2-faced coworkers - page 2

Ya know, I am so appalled with what I witness at my hospital. I dont trust anyone, and it is upsetting. I see 2 people talking, laughing, being buddies. The next day, one of them will be talking... Read More

  1. by   oramar
    I don't mind the minor, very human give and take that goes on among employees. My main concern is that occasional person who likes to carry tales to managment because they think it will enhance their standing with managment.
    Last edit by oramar on Jan 12, '07
  2. by   PeachPie
    Quote from oramar
    I don't mind the minor, very human give and take that goes on among employees. My main concern is that occasional person who likes to carry tales to managment because they think it will enhance their standing with managment.
    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last.
    -Sir Winton Churchill
  3. by   WinksRN
    YOu didnt know... this is the American WAy, be wise dont get caught up. hear no evil.. see no evil.... speak no evil and you'll be fine..oh and watch your back.
  4. by   muffie
    Quote from Tweety
    You are going to find people who gossip and talk about their coworkers wherever you go.

    I choose my battles. There are times when it's not worth the effort and other times I need to speak up.

    I don't allow other people's opinions of me and my work effect how I think about my self.

    You are giving other people entirely too much space in your head and control over how you feel about yourself. It's good that your self aware that you have self-esteem problems, but what are you going to do about it? I grew up in a household where self-esteem wasn't fostered and was a bullied kid. So as an adult self-esteem issues were a biggie with me.

    Instead of asking the world around me to change, or running from job to job, place to place (not that there isn't a time to leave) I had to change my insides and how I preceive the world, and how I look at myself.

    Good luck.
    wisely said tweety
  5. by   burn out
    You have to hang tough and be confident in yourself and what you are doing. You can't be intimidated by these people and the best way that I have found to handle them and get their attention is to confront them with what I have heard. This way they will know that you are not afraid of them and are willing to stand up for yourself, alot of times too once you hear their side of things it is not always what it appeared to be. The last thing you want to do if you do confront them is to end up arguing..just listen to them it doesn't really matter what they say just that you confronted them.
  6. by   michigooseBSN
    A terrific maxim is "What anyone thinks of me is none of my business". Others are entitled to their opinions but that doesn't need to affect my self esteem.
  7. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from chenoaspirit
    Ya know, I am so appalled with what I witness at my hospital. I dont trust anyone, and it is upsetting. I see 2 people talking, laughing, being buddies. The next day, one of them will be talking trash about the other one, then the next day is buddy-buddy with that person again. EVERYONE does it. A new hire just told me a few things that she heard said about me and my nursing. It really hurt my feelings and makes me question myself. I have a hard time with self-esteem anyway, I dont need that. I always pitch in to help everyone, running down their beeping IV pumps, helping their pt to the bathroom, etc. I truely try to get along with everyone. Its even worse with the "shift wars". I want a new job so badly, but its probably the same way in every hospital. I hope not. Its hard working in that type of atmosphere.
    Sounds like you are having trouble there.:icon_hug: There are people like that everywhere, but some places are better than others. People like that can also cause trouble for others, so it's a good idea to keep a journal and document the care you give, so that they can't lie about that to cause trouble. I have seen things like that happen, so please be careful.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    Peachy - that essay was great . . .I went to the home page and found the following:

    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)
    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?
    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Are you sick of people who have confused objectifying women as sex symbols with female "empowerment"?
    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?
    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?
    [IMG]http://www.heartless-*******.com/images/check2.gif[/IMG]Does the sight of an incredibly handsome man turn you off, because too many of them have room-temperature IQ's, and obnoxious or non-existent personalities?



    I can't print the rest due to language but they are funny.




    I'm printing this essay out and sending it to a few people at work . . . not really, just wishing I could.




    steph
  9. by   lannisz
    Some of the best advice I ever got was from a female boss who everyone hated and yet they feared and respected her. She told me "You do your best and then let it go. Don't take your work home with you." At the end of the day, if I can go home feeling like I did my best to work hard for my patients and "contribute to the team", then it was a good day. All you can do is do your best. Half the time no one really knows or even pays attention to how much you do or how well you do it. But YOU will know. Yes, it's sad, but people seem to only notice what doesn't get done. Do your best, play fair even if others aren't and treat others as you want to be treated. In the end you can feel good about your own behavior. Be careful who you confide in. Don't pass on gossip, malicious or otherwise. Let it stop with you. The only exception: Let others know when you hear good, positive, uplifting things said about them. We all could use some encouragement. Don't tell others any negative things you hear said about them, that's just counterproductive and mean and quite possibly untrue. When I was a new nurse, someone who knew my preceptor when she was a student (ages ago) told me some horrible things about how terrible and incapable she was. I decided to make my own decisions about this person and ended up thinking she was the most awesome, capable, knowledgable nurse I have ever known.
  10. by   pacifica
    Quote from PeachPie
    I think that the biggest problems erupt when people try to be buddy-buddy. I live by this essay and it's done wonders for me.


    OMG! I love that website! Thank you, I have a new entry in my internet Favorites.

  11. by   PeachPie
    The HBI site is flipping incredible. I recommend it for men and women alike. HBI is not just a feminist website that points out women's own shortcomings that limit themselves in the working world, it's an emotional adultist website that encourages partnerships of intelligent, caring, equal adults. The HBs do not see females as superior to males in any way. I'm all for this equalism.
  12. by   kukukajoo
    When someone comes up to you to tell you what so-and-so said about you just cut them off at the pass and tell them that you don't want to participate in the rant wars, that if so-and-so would like to discuss things with you she can. Then just walk away.

    Then always stay neutral and when someone is talking about another coworker you can be present, but impartial. If the conversation turns into a rantfest or gets personal and not about work then walk away.

    It works wonders I promise! It may take a few times but you will notice that they will stop being that way with you and when they decide to talk about someone it probably won't be you as they would rather be causing grief and they can't seem to accomplish it with you.
  13. by   bella2131
    I supervised a group of women older than me in a medical laboratory setting....I had 3 imparticular that were always going back and forth and the one would come to me and report what the other 2 were doing...I referred to them as my 'Bermuda Triangle'....finally after having enough..I mentioned to the informer that if she had so much time to report on what the others were doing...she must not have enough to do herself. More work was pushed her way....pretty much ended that.

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