Are you discerning with your "likes"?

[klone]

It's been established many years ago that I rely on "likes" as validation of my worth as a valued member of the Allnurses.com community. As such, whenever I get a "like" notification, I go to my dashboard to see who liked what post (yeah, I told you that I have self-esteem issues).

A curious thing I've noticed is that some members will just go through and "like" every post that's on a thread they're reading. I wonder why. Are they just so enthusiastic about the subject matter that they're just all "Hell YEAH!!" to every post?

Alternatively, I will sometimes notice that a particular member will have "liked" several of my posts in several different threads on different boards within a short period of time, and I'll think, "Is Davey Do (or you know, whoever) stalking me?"

So what are you patterns and criteria for "liking" someone else's posts?

[klone, MSN, RN]

What kind of affirmation did he get?

I don't remember. I just remember feeling a bit cheated by mine. His was all profound, and mine was like "You're good."

[klone, MSN, RN]

Do you feel hurt if someone who usually/often likes your posts doesn't like one, even if they've commented after you? Do you feel bad if you usually like someone's comments but have an occasion where you don't? These are symptoms of a more serious "Like" problem.

Nah, I tend to be an under-liker, in that I will read a post and think to myself "Wow, that's a great/profound/intelligent/whatever comment and I really agree!" and then I'll move on to the next post. I have to consciously think about "liking" it.

That may be part of why my first marriage failed.

Sorry, tangent - anyway, since I'm an under-liker, I tend to expect that of others as well. So it always pleasantly surprises me when someone likes my post, because I don't really expect it most of the time.

[Kitiger, RN]

Just got another

"Like" from some discerning soul

Who boosts my self-worth

[klone, MSN, RN]

Just got another

"Like" from some discerning soul

Who boosts my self-worth

That almost reads like a haiku

OMG, it IS a haiku!! I love you.

[Kitiger, RN]

Haiku expresses

Thoughtful, insightful wisdom

In stylized form

[Kitiger, RN]

LOL!

Do you feel hurt if someone who usually/often likes your posts doesn't like one, even if they've commented after you? Do you feel bad if you usually like someone's comments but have an occasion where you don't? These are symptoms of a more serious "Like" problem.

You are so right, JKL. Part of the problem with social media is that the kids come to depend on the social group for affirmation. But a sense of self-worth needs to come from within.

I had a relative who told me that she didn't know whether she liked her new school clothes until she went to school and listened to what the kids said. This was BEFORE the internet, and all the problems with social media!

I fear for our society; it isn't just the kids who have this problem.

[Julius Seizure]

Nah, I tend to be an under-liker, in that I will read a post and think to myself "Wow, that's a great/profound/intelligent/whatever comment and I really agree!" and then I'll move on to the next post. I have to consciously think about "liking" it.

I am going to remember this and be even more excited when you like my stuff from now on.

No pressure.

(Please like me)

[JKL33]

You are so right, JKL. Part of the problem with social media is that the kids come to depend on the social group for affirmation. A sense of self-worth needs to come from within.

I had a relative who told me that she didn't know whether she liked her new school clothes until she went to school and listened to what the kids said. This was BEFORE the internet, and all the problems with social media!

I fear for our society; it isn't just the kids who have this problem.

I was kinda just having fun with some thoughts about "like" neuroses, but I agree w/ you, too much needing of likes is not good.

Either way, this thread is cracking me up kind of like Davey's avatar thread...

[macawake, MSN]

So what are you patterns and criteria for "liking" someone else's posts?

I haven't really thought about my criteria for liking posts. I kind of read and press "like" if it feels right. But now that your question has made me attempt to analyze it, I think it varies and is affected both by the subject matter of the thread and what mood I happen to be in. Well, I will obviously "like" posts when I agree with what a poster says but sometimes I will "like" a post even if I disagree with the poster if I think that the poster has presented a well thought-out argument. I will "like" a post that makes me smile or laugh. Sometimes I will "like" the OP of a firsttime poster, just to make that poster feel welcome.

Some other random thoughts about "likes": I'm glad that we don't have a dislike/thumbs down option on AN because I consider them passive-aggressive. I one disagrees with what someone says, one should be able to verbalize that disagreement into some kind of cogent argument (at least in my not always humble opinion ) Dislike buttons are for lazy misanthropes.

Sometimes I wish that there was two different types of "likes"; one regular "like" and one "super-like". Partly because it would make me look a bit less confused since I have a habit of both liking posts I agree with whole-heartedly but can also sometimes "like" posts that are simply presented well but might not mesh with my own personal opinion. Another reason I would like to have a "super-like" option is that sometimes someone writes something that is so brilliant or compassionate or humorous that I want to print a copy of it, frame it and hang it on my wall (well, that might be a tad extreme, but you know what I'm trying to say) and I would like to convey that to the poster with a supersized mega-like :)

I feel sad for myself that I get, or have to get, validation from likes, but I do.

Well, I view "likes" as acknowledging the other person and signaling that you agree with them or hear them. It's kind of like nods or the "uh-huh" thing people do when they agree with you in a real life conversation. To me it's a part of the dynamics shared between a bunch of people talking and I don't think it's any more strange to feel validated by a "like" than it is to feel like the other person pays attention to you in a real life conversation when they nod or express agreement. Why do any of us talk to other people if not to have some sort of shared experience/communication? I don't think you should feel sad about it.

Truth be told, I find the few posters who are extremely discerning with their "likes" and only hand out a "like" every two months or so, despite posting relatively regularly, a bit odd. To me it feels like they aren't genuinely participating but are only interested in voicing their own opinion. Actually I perceive it to be a bit standoffish, even though that might in reality not be their intent at all.

Okay, now I just have to figure out how I'm going to allocate my "likes" in this thread without completely obsessing over the process

[klone, MSN, RN]

"Dislike buttons are for lazy misanthropes" is my new favorite phrase.

[ItsThatJenGirl, CNA]

I like posts that I agree with, or find funny. Or find snarky sometimes - depends on my mood really. I try not to put any weight into the likes I receive, I do feel a sense of pride when a post I've put a lot of thought/time into gets likes.

[Apple-Core, ASN, BSN, RN]

I don't put much thought into how many likes I get, although I have noticed that when my immature, schoolyard humor kicks in, the like-ratio tends to soar!