another jolly assignment - page 5

pt 1 postop-wants a private room so i can be his private nurse so we can do private things. he tells me hes rich as though thats going to persuade me. i have one hell of a time getting out of his... Read More

  1. by   canoehead
    Unbelievable.

    One of those things that you are trying to think of just the right thing to say for days afterwards. I can't think of anything (except a good punch to the gut). What should we say when we encounter that attitude- does anyone have an idea?
  2. by   thisnurse
    i have always said that god gave men a penis so they will always have something to do.

    pt goes on all night about how his foot hurts and he needs me to take a look at it. well he has an ulcer on it and he keeps walking on it so yeah, i guess it does hurt. finally, i make him get back in bed and i look at his stupid foot just to shut him up. while i am looking at the ulcer i notice he is openly wanking the willy. i told him his foot looked ok and that he needed to stay in bed.
    then i went out to the desk and told my assistant that he was asking for her. two minutes later i hear "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" lmao...

    elderly man masturbating..."i miss my wife"
    i said "i see that" and left him to his business.

    walked thru the doors of the unit, first thing i hear...a major announcement from a patient, screaming down the hall...
    "I HAVE A HARDON"
    oh yeah, gonna be a great night...lol

    i wish i knew what to say to patient and family members who say "thats the nurses job"
    i get so damn angry i end up saying nothing. its safer that way.
  3. by   prmenrs
    I actually had a 16y/o mom refuse to change her baby's diaper because "that's YOUR job!". Even her mother's jaw dropped. I replied, "No, I already know how to do that, I want to see if you do so I know that you'll be ready to take care of the baby @ home." Calmly!
  4. by   majic65
    Hey, guys--this post has made me MISS my old days in L&D at a huge inner city hospital--now there was a zoo! Also makes me fervently glad I go to work 8-5 every day, Mon-Fri in an office, a quiet office, and work on clinical studies.
    But sometimes, just sometimes--I miss the split personality who didn't think it was her baby. Or the daddy who brought his friends in to "show off" the HUGE condyloma he had given his girl friend. Or the raging coke queen who ripped out the IV and wrapped it around my neck, then the midwife.
    I love nursing--and I love nurses. We are truly the best--
  5. by   prn nurse
    From P_RN's post....What does that saying mean? I see it occasionally on these posts, and never hear it in my part of the country.
  6. by   thisnurse
    whats a condomyloma-a sucker bite?
    boy that takes some serious talent...lol

    i had a good assignment tonight boy. i didnt get home from a 3-11:30 shift until 2:30 am.
    in the morning i doubt ill be able to turn my head at all because of the patient load i had tonight.
    if i am hurting bad when i wake up i am not going in tomorrow night. ive had enough and i am not going to cripple myself.

    pt calls the desk and orders a nurse from the nursing menu. lol
    naturally i have her...so i go in her room and this woman is HUGE..i was told she was "large" in report. she is WAY WAY WAY HUGE. im talking like 500-600 lbs huge.she BARELY FIT in a bigboy bed. i was unprepared for that. i was also told she had PT and was up and in a chair earlier. she was being transferred to a nursing home in a few hours.

    she wants to use the bedpan. i ask her if she can roll over on her side and she states that she cant but she can help us when we roll her. ok then.
    now i will admit i am NOT happy about having her assigned to me. i am still having severe neck problems and i dont need to reinjure myself. i tell her i have to get help and i come back with my assistant.
    meantime her daughter comes in. i have the bedpan and i ask the pt to roll on her side. the daughter gets angry and tells me she cant roll. i told her that mom said she could help us to roll and the bytch told me that her mother wouldnt have said that because she cant. i asked her how they get her on the bedpan and she says THEY LIFT HER UP AND PUT HER ON IT.
    i told the daughter no way could we lift her.
    the daughter helped us and we pushed her to the side and managed to get the pan, which is a joke itself, somewhere under that huge rump. i think the pan was the same size as her anus. her last pan was missing and i think it might have got sucked up there in a backdraft or vortex or something.
    the daughter says to the mom..."i cant wait till you get out of here" boy it took everything for me not to agree.
    i said "she is being discharged to a nursing home in two hours"
    daughter tells me it cant be soon enough. i agreed silently.

    ANYWAY
    shes on the pan and outside of the room i tell my assistant that i will not be able to help get her off. she knows why.
    i go take care of my cranial bleed who is on the OTHER side of the unit and should actually be in ICU but thats another story. i get out of his room and check on my dying patient in the next room, when i come out i am told that the huge womans family wants to see me.
    was yet another daughter..should be restrictions on breeding i think.

    "my mother says you were very rude to her when she asked for the bedpan"

    the other daughter said
    "i do too...you were rude"

    ok, so i explain what happened and she continues to bytch at me and wants to know why i wasnt told in report that she couldnt roll on her own. i was NOT in the mood for their stupid shyt.
    "my mother did NOT tell you she could move because she cant and she wouldnt tell you that."

    mom was leaving in an hour. im not going to listen to that. and im sure as hell not going to be called a liar.
    i said "im not sure what it is you want me to do"
    (meaning i will NOT apologize for something i did not do)
    and i told her i would call the supervisor so she could voice her concerns. she said that would be good.
    i went to the desk and the daughter stood there while i called. i told the supervisor what happened and that the family wanted to speak with her. i told her that if i was rude i was not aware of it. the daughter listened to everything i said on the phone. i told her and her evil ugly sister that the supervisor would be there to speak to them.

    they tell the supervisor that there wasnt a problem with my being "rude" and that was not an issue. furthermore they said that all they wanted to know was if there was something written that stated mom was unable to move by herself. they said that they never asked for her to be called (they didnt...i just wasnt going to kiss their azzes and cop to something i didnt do) and werent aware i was calling.

    the daughter had said to me..."how would you feel if you were my mom"

    and im thinking...if i were your mom i wouldnt have let myself get to be so damn big they needed a crane to pick me up. if i were your mom or i were YOU id be glad that she had people to help her. if i were your mom i wouldnt expect to be LIFTED by anyone. if i were your mom i would at least TRY to move myself. if she can get up to sit in a chair she sure as he11 can TRY to move. if i were YOU or your ugly toad like sister, i would ENCOURAGE my mother to at LEAST move around in the damn bed.
    she went to the nursing home not soon enough for me either. that was another issue. i dont know where the ugly sisters think mom is going but they told me she BETTER NOT be going to a nursing home.
    (they have met with the social worker, they have signed the papers for mom to go)i said it was a skilled nursing facility. they were happy with that.
  7. by   PhantomRN
    Some people just should not be allowed to breed...........hahahaha.
  8. by   ktwlpn
    [QUOTE.i was told she was "large" in report. she is WAY WAY WAY HUGE. im talking like 500-600 lbs huge.she BARELY FIT in a bigboy bed. i was unprepared for that. i was also told she had PT and was up and in a chair earlier. she was being transferred to a nursing home in a few hours.....>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Your post cracked me up!Just goes to show ya why some of us like our pets more then people........And I hate to be the one to point this out but unless she went to a nursing home 1,ooo miles away she sounds like she will be a frequent flyer at your facility....I am betting that the daughters never visit empty handed,either.Probably many boxes of Tastycakes and Krispy Kremes in that room....
  9. by   frann
    A few months ago I was working on the telemetry floor. BTW its the only medical telemetry floor in our hospital. So the supervisers like to slam us with admissions. I came on at 7pm and the admissions started. (New superviser came on too) so in less than 4 hours we get around 7 admits with minimum staff. 1 secretary. And we do it pretty good. We get every thing done.
    So about 1030 the superviser calls up and I guesss I'm in charge.
    She wants us to move some pts off telemetry so we can get some more pts. Oh sh*t shes messing with the wrong nurse!
    I let her have it! No GD way We're full now so forget it and hang up on her. She doesn't bother me anymore. B*tch! I hate working with her. She thinks everyone needs telemetry.
  10. by   nursechris1
    Originally posted by prn nurse
    From P_RN's post....What does that saying mean? I see it occasionally on these posts, and never hear it in my part of the country.
    This is like, when you run a marathon, or participate in something, you get a shirt to show you've been there and done it. So if you have had a similart experience, you say" been there, done it, got the tshirt"
  11. by   nursechris1
    I am soooo glad I don't do facility work any more. Although we still get some PIA families and patients on homecare and hospice. I have really learned to schmooze as much as I hate to.
  12. by   thisnurse
    oh i know she is going to be a frequent flyer.
    one of her boobs is tremedously larger than the other. it must weigh about 150 lbs itself.
    she came from home where her daughters took care of her. testing all said and done....it was dependent edema from laying on it.
    the daughters are great caregivers obviously.

    last night i had toad man. oh i dont think i have ever been so close to telling a patient off.
    hes a little weasly looking guy and yes he is sick ...sepsis and what not...but he just lies in bed all the time and wants to be waited on.
    he is an extremely hard person to get a line in...they had to take him to surgery to put in a central cos the surgeons couldnt get him on the floor.
    finally get a line in and the damn thing clots off.
    order for tpa...its sitting in the damn port and hes all pizzed off cos i cant give him his iv morphine for his "generalized" pain. he had to wait an whole half hour for it. he wasnt upset about his vanco being late tho.

    and he cant breathe.
    resp 24
    sat 99%
    no sob, no struggling, lungs clear.
    he wants a breathing treatment. its ordered so i give it to him with a nebulizer

    OH BUT I LIKE THE MASK (whine whine whine)
    give him the mask.
    finish the treatment. give him his morphine finally and he wants another breathing treatment. i say no...they are ordered every 6 hours.

    BUT THE OTHER NURSES GIVE THEM TO ME IN A ROW (whine whine whine)

    then he complained he didnt get enough morphine.
    i call the house doc. she never comes

    whine whine whine

    this hospital this this hospital that whine whine whine...nobody tells me anything...whine whine...whine...now i cant breathe...i want a milkshake (its 1 am, i guess im supposed to whip one up for him)

    i told him that was enough. i told him if he had a problem with pain control it was something that needed to be discussed with his DOCS..nurses dont order pain meds...if he is not understanding what the docs are telling him its his responsiblity to keep asking them to explain until he does understand. if his breathing treatments arent frequent enough he needs to tell the DOCS. i said listen, if it were up to me id give you all the morphine you wanted (im thinking something like 200 mgs or all the morphine in the pyxis, whichever is more)
    i told him...you are complaining to the wrong person.


    but i had to wait for my morphine for a half hour whine whine whine

    i walked out of the room....mr toadman..ill see you later.

    i usually dont let them get to me like that but he called me in his room every 15 mns and i had enough.
  13. by   Brownms46
    I once worked on a Acute Psych/PTSD unit at a VA hospital. One day one of the pts. who was a bodybuilder with an extremely large upper body, decided to have a flashback. He picked up a chair and stood in a corner of the dayroom. We called for a show of force. An Asian female MD with a strong accent walks up to me, and says "Give him 1mg of Ativan IM". I draw up the Ativan, and wait right beside this DR, who is standing in the Nurses station safely behind the glass. 4 male nurses and a few security are fighting with this guy and his is swinging this chair. This Doctor turns to me after they finally have to mace this guy, and notices I'm standing there with the syringe. She says "You give him the Ativan?" I calmly tell her "no". She says " When you give it to him?" I calmly tell her, "When they tie him down". There way no in H#LL I was going to walk up to this guy and try to stick a needle in him! And SHEwas nuttier then him if she thought I was! I thought to myself...If you want him to have it NOW...you can give it yourself!


    Brownie
    Last edit by Brownms46 on Feb 17, '02

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