postop-wants a private room so i can be his private nurse so we can do private things. he tells me hes rich as though thats going to persuade me. i have one hell of a time getting out of his room because he goes on and on and on. later he tells me he wants morphine because his roomie is taking it and he thinks it might be cool. he suddenly decides hes in pain and i need to find his doc. he falls asleep while i am running a dose of antibiotics iv and when he awakes and hears me in the room he thinks we have changed shifts and complains that the iv has been in his arm "all night"
pt 2 (the roomie)
24 years old. constantly in the hospital for etoh abuse aka "pancreatitis". he was so drunk in the er he fell off his chair and on his face. he was just released last week. hes back. i always get this guy. last admit they gave him a morphine PCA, this time its round the clock scheduled diladid iv q2 with a chaser of ativan. he instructs me on which port to administer them in so he can get the most effective buzz. i comply. its ordered for him, i give it. i dont care.
between the two of them i spend all night in this room.
pt3
in his 50's from italy. broken english. cant understand half of what he says. thinks we are out to get him. says he sat on the bedside commode for an hour and a half the night before because nobody would help him to bed. he can walk. he has been refusing his meds. he swears he got a dose of a steroid he didnt want. the nurse snuck in and injected it in his iv. it made him sick.
hes on a PCA pump but he says he is not getting any of his morphine because the tubing is not taped right. i try to explain that the infusion pump will beep to let us know if its blocked but he doesnt believe me. he tells me he doesnt want me to get in "trouble" and is looking at my id badge. i told him im not worried because i have not done anything wrong. i listen to him rant the same rant again and again. why are his nurses like that? because they are white. ok.
pt 4
she weighs no less than 300 pounds. she is up all night long. at first she is appropriate but that changes. she asks for morphine every two hours as ordered. she knows when its due. i give it to her until she starts losing her grip with reality.
she starts singing my name. she recites the poem "the night before christmas" and sings christmas carols. she sits on the edge of her bed with her gown off. in all her "glory". when she lays down her humoungous butt sticks out. she refuses to be covered.
i ask her if she is looped. she tells me no and falls asleep. i get the pulse ox and try to get her sat. she wont give me her finger. she wants me to beg. i finally get the sat and its 87. i start her on O2. she wont leave it on. "it itches my nose". i continually go in her room and make her keep it on. its now a game. i try to get another sat rate and we play the "no finger for you" game.
if i leave the room and she sees someone go by she sends them to get me. "i dont feel good" no i guess not. leave your oxygen on and you will feel better. "it itches my nose" off it goes.
we did this for hours. when i was going home she was sitting on the edge of the bed, hanging out all over and crying, begging me not to leave.
i had three other patients but i didnt get to see too much of them. unfortunately for them, they were normal.
i couldnt wait to get the hell out of there this morning...lol
i wish i could say this was an unusual assignment, but it wasnt.
