Alternative to spanking

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I had very lax parents myself. I can remember being spanked once in my entire life. I got grounded a few times once I reached high school and for good reasons, but other than that I didn't really receive discipline much from my parents. My husbands family on the other hand is in favor of spanking; at one point I though I was too but am now against it...but still have to stifle laughs when I hear a parent say, "use your words" to a kid throwing a tantrum; maybe because I am yet to see this work.

I am in Community Nursing this semester. The placement I am at has a brochure on why you should not spank. The brochure was very informative on why you should not spank but it lacked any information on alternative ways to correct behavior/discipline. I chose not to had this out because I felt the information was not complete. Not being a parent yet myself, I did not feel equip to give alternatives if asked once the brochure was read and the client found that no alternatives were included.

Suggestions would be appreciated.

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

When I was 13 and didn't care much what my mom wanted me to do, my dad came up with the idea of indenture papers for the three of us. I was the indentured servant and they were the paper holders that even had a torn ragged edge so both sets of contracts exactly matched each other. They contained a list of my "duties and responsibilities" and a reminder that "all future liberties" might be forfeited should duties not be carried out in a timely fashion. My 8th grade history book had a section on indenture papers so that worked well and kept my parents from always nagging me. I still have my copy.

sharpeimom

Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.

"If you don't understand the difference I suggest you find a volunteer to give you a spankign and then a beating so that you understand the difference." quote from post of Stanley RN

Oh, Stanley how sad it is that your childhood was riddled with so-called punishment, that you realize now was child abuse. It has squewed your self image and made you hostile beyond reason.

I don't need to experience abuse to know what it is. I've seen enough victims of it, and I "calls 'em like I sees 'em". You need help dealing with the abuse that haunts you sufficiently to make you want to hurt others. Get it!

Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.

"My parents tried that psych thing with the shrink where they hold you down and wrap you up to make you powerless and make you give up. Don't know what it is called. Basically, it is supposed to make you give up or something." quote from post by Stanley RN2B

You are amazingly strong, Stanley. I imagine you know that children have died from that process, and a TV program was made and aired about it. Not all the perpetrators of that were bonafide psychiatrists or psychologists. The one the program was about was imprisoned and will never practise again!

This reinforces my earlier post, and I send this to you with love and care for you. Help is there for the reaching, find it!

"If you don't understand the difference I suggest you find a volunteer to give you a spankign and then a beating so that you understand the difference." quote from post of Stanley RN

Oh, Stanley how sad it is that your childhood was riddled with so-called punishment, that you realize now was child abuse. It has squewed your self image and made you hostile beyond reason.

I don't need to experience abuse to know what it is. I've seen enough victims of it, and I "calls 'em like I sees 'em". You need help dealing with the abuse that haunts you sufficiently to make you want to hurt others. Get it!

............

*eye roll!*

"If you don't understand the difference I suggest you find a volunteer to give you a spankign and then a beating so that you understand the difference." quote from post of Stanley RN

Oh, Stanley how sad it is that your childhood was riddled with so-called punishment, that you realize now was child abuse. It has squewed your self image and made you hostile beyond reason.

I don't need to experience abuse to know what it is. I've seen enough victims of it, and I "calls 'em like I sees 'em". You need help dealing with the abuse that haunts you sufficiently to make you want to hurt others. Get it!

I am sorry about any hostility. It does tend to slip out.

It only comes out when exchanging ideas and debating. It never comes out in any other activity. It's kinda strange.

I DON'T want to hurt others. I am antagonistic but it is completely on a mental level. I abhor doing violence myself. I have had to do it before and it caused me great shame and distress. I never had any fights growing up. Even in my 'youthful crime' days I looked upon violent crimes with disdain.

In fact, my greatest joy and fulfillment has been caring for people that are vulnerable. That's the kicker though. VULNERABLE people. Regular people tend to set me off. I have little to no sympathy for them.

Being a CNA in a nursing home has literally changed my life.

You are mistaken though. You are attributing this to the abuse from my mother. Really, the relationship between my mother is very good and quite healthy. Once I understood the root cause of the abuse most issues from it disappeared.

The behavior you see is the direct result of the disorders I suffer from. Bipolar disorder is the one I speak of most and if you really watch you can see the swings. The shift between hostility and utter politeness.

Thank you for the thoughts though.

ETA:

ECKPowers. ROFL, If I had've seen that the OTHER day...

BTW: Seeing a victim of abuse doesn't equal understanding. Heck I've seen photos from Auschwitz and talked to Holocaust survivors. Doesn't mean I understand anything about it.

Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.
The Army itself didn't change me.

It's the things I experienced in the Army that started the change.

So it was more life and timing than the Army it sounds like. Is there no hope for my loving, hard-headed boy? :eek: He really is good until there's something he gets his mind set-on. So far it seems like consistency is our only ally. The thing is, he's already sneaky. He won't fight with you about something. He just does it anyway. He is my payback tenfold from my mother. :chuckle

Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

I take that back. Sometimes he tells on himself. If I hear "Uh-oh!" I know he's doing something he knows he's not allowed to do. I go in and bust him. Then he hands the item to me like he's doing me a favor, the little turd! :roll

Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.

"BTW: Seeing a victim of abuse doesn't equal understanding. Heck I've seen photos from Auschwitz and talked to Holocaust survivors. Doesn't mean I understand anything about it. " Quote from post by Stanley RN2B

If that was true, the only people who could treat anything, would be those who'd had it themselves. That's what education is for......

So it was more life and timing than the Army it sounds like. Is there no hope for my loving hard-headed boy? :eek: He really is good until there's something he gets his mind set-on. So far it seems like consistency is our only ally. The thing is, he's already sneaky. He won't fight with you about something. He just does it anyway. He is my payback tenfold from my mother. :chuckle[/quote']

No... It was the things that one is sometimes required to do in the Army. Things young men think they want to do and are ready for and joke about and end up regretting for the rest of their lives...

That changed almost everything. The coffin on the old me though was nailed shut by the death of my baby DD though.

Two deaths in a world of 6 billion. Statistically insignificant. Life changing.

"BTW: Seeing a victim of abuse doesn't equal understanding. Heck I've seen photos from Auschwitz and talked to Holocaust survivors. Doesn't mean I understand anything about it. " Quote from post by Stanley RN2B

If that was true, the only people who could treat anything, would be those who'd had it themselves. That's what education is for......

That's not true understanding.

A Nurse with SANE training doesn't REALLY understand what it's like to be raped.

An oncologist doesn't really understand what it's like to have cancer.

A shrink doesn't really understand what it's like to have a mental illness.

Unless they have experienced it.

I'm sure you have known or will know someone that has lost a child. You don't have the first clue what it REALLY means unless it has happened to you. I knew people that lost their children. Sucked. To be sure. Losing a child was a wake up call. I never understood what 'sucked' really meant.

You can know the signs and symptoms of something but that isn't understanding...

Yeah, my dad tried something similar when I was 13. He bought two packs of Camels and was going to make me smoke until I got sick. Calm down, he didn't know it was dangerous. Not abuse, just ignorance.

I refused the cigarettes pulled out mine and proceeded to smoke the pack completely in about 4.5 hours.

I was 13 and the cigarettes were filterless Lucky Strikes. ;)

Yeah... I would've eaten your parents alive ROFL. :chuckle

:D

My younger sister would have eaten her parents alive too. My mom did the same thing when she caught my sis with cigs. Made her smoke a whole pack (Camels), one after the other. My sis did it proudly and never got sick. And smokes to this day - she is 50.

steph

Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.
No... It was the things that one is sometimes required to do in the Army. Things young men think they want to do and are ready for and joke about and end up regretting for the rest of their lives...

That changed almost everything. The coffin on the old me though was nailed shut by the death of my baby DD though.

Two deaths in a world of 6 billion. Statistically insignificant. Life changing.

Stanley-

I'm sorry you lost your beautiful girl! :crying2::flowersfo

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