When I have conflicting family members I determine who will be making decisions if the patient is unable to. Spouse, DPOA, etc. I then inform the family that all information will go through that person. I write this on the Kardex and pass it on to each charge nurse. As charge, I prefer to have the staff refer these calls to me in the first place. The nurses are too busy to get tied up on the phone with an angry family member.
When people curse at me I tell them " you are obviously upset right now. I will not accept your language and tone of voice. I am going to hang up now. When you have composed yourself you may call me back" and I hang up the phone.
When the family members are there in person, getting called names gets my back up. I try to remain professional but it is hard, especially if they are intoxicated. Again, I try to redirect them as above but if they don't calm down and they are disruptive to the unit, I call security and have them removed from the floor.