A Note of Deep Concern and Worry

My colleagues of all stages, please take a moment... Nurses Announcements Archive Article

There has been a rash of suicides and suicide attempts in my community and it has driven me to write this note.

After the devastating loss of a nursing student, I just....I don't even know where to begin. So I'll start:

Please, please, please remember that in taking care of others, one most take care of oneself. Please remember no matter how dark, how down, how trapped you feel, there are people that care--that love you--that want to help.

Surround yourselves by people who are a positive influence. Give yourself the benefit of people who will boost you, watch out for you, and save you from yourself. Get out of bad or toxic relationships, regardless of who that relationship involves.

Be your own advocate.

Do not be ashamed of what you are feeling or what you are thinking. It doesn't matter if "someone else has it worse". Please do not, for one moment, think that if you sought help from someone who supported you, that you would be turned away.

Just talk, out loud, about what is going on. Let people help.

There is no bill worth more than you life.

There is no test score that should make you feel as if you are invisible.

There is no relationship that determines your worthiness of love or life.

There is no day bad enough not to merit a dawn.

Suicide is the number 10 cause of death in this country. This is a fact.

And I, for one, decry a society that believes that depression is just a bad case of the blues. I have seen the black dog up close and personal, thank you, and it is very real. It is a medical condition. And it can kill.

So I declare myself a safe haven.

If you need a shoulder, I am here. I am not the most empathetic individual ever created, and I may not be able to fix it, but I can listen. I can be genuinely present in the moment.

I am here.

If you are in need of help, please remember the following resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Google free counseling services for your area. There are many.

Keep in mind that there are counseling services offered through many employers.

Do your absolute best to get help when you feel the slouch of depression. Listen to your loved ones that worry, that ask you over and over if you are okay. They are seeing something you are not--trust them. When they tell you they love you, internalize it, believe it.

Please, take care of each other and yourselves.

~~CP~~

Written off the cuff. Grammar and spelling mistakes are all mine.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
For the simple fact that YOU ARE HERE on this website means that you are NOT alone. Real quickly, though before I move on, nursing instructors are NOT supposed to be concerned with your anxiety in regards to whether or not you pass or fail. You HAVE to make the grade and be able to perform appropriately as a nurse because someone's life depends on YOU, the nurse. Now, what's going on with you now means that you will have a positive testimony to your patients that you WILL encounter from time to time in your career as a nurse. It's not that nurses don't care about you......from where I stand, it's more like our profession has become more of a mechanical business that's the driving force, which is, for the most part, out of our hands. We and YOU, need to band together to reclaim our profession. It's not you; it's not your instructors; it's not us. It's all politics and economics! We need you to focus so that you can help us as much as we can help you. You CAN make a difference here. So please, allow us to cry on your shoulders as you cry on ours. Then, we can wipe the tears away, develop OUR game plan, and reclaim OUR profession. At the risk of sounding like an AA counselor, you are DEFINITELY not alone!

I realize that, but I also was receiving an A in the class portion. Clearly, I knew what I needed to succeed and I was a hardworker in clinical and did well for the first 2/3 of the year. But having a type A clinical instructor work with a student with anxiety disorder is a recipe for disaster, and I find many nurses to be type A. I know that I would have flourished under different guidance and the right meds, but it is what it is.

I think I will band with someone who knows something about mental health and clearly the majority nurses outside of mental health know nothing about mental illnesses. I blame the system and the schooling more than the nurses themselves.

But thanks anyway.

P.S. Sorry I sound bitter, but working with nurses and seeing how they behave and treat one another (and the patients) makes me believe that the field as a whole is seriously lacking in this area.

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Thank you from from everything that is in me, for taking the time out to post this. All of us at one time or another have thought about it or had these low feelings before and we all as human beings need to reach out to one another, listen to one another, or just say "hey I care" It could save someones life that needed it. Its so hard to loose people to suicide whether we know them or not. So really thank you for being the voice that spoke up.

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Thank you, CheesePotato for offering yourself like that. I've been a long time "guest" of AN and love reading advice from wise nurses like you :)

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Specializes in Sleep medicine,Floor nursing, OR, Trauma.

To all those that took a moment to like and/or respond...it gives me comfort and hope to see stories, replies, and support. As one who has also lost those close to me to depression, suicide, and mental illness, I offer condolences to those who share such pain. Although I may like your post, know it is done in support, and not in favor of your tragedy. Forgive my absence(sp) from this thread. I have been sleeping off a night shift. Yeehah. Kindest regards and have a scrumptious weekend,~~CP~~

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Specializes in FNP, ONP.

I too wonder sometimes what is going on with people these days. I have never seen so many people with such an utter lack of self, and absence of coping skills. I sit there feeling so helpless and wondering how they became this shell of a person. What happened to them? All I can do is prescribe medications. There are no resources for them. It is such a tragedy.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.
I realize that, but I also was receiving an A in the class portion. Clearly, I knew what I needed to succeed and I was a hardworker in clinical and did well for the first 2/3 of the year. But having a type A clinical instructor work with a student with anxiety disorder is a recipe for disaster, and I find many nurses to be type A. I know that I would have flourished under different guidance and the right meds, but it is what it is.I think I will band with someone who knows something about mental health and clearly the majority nurses outside of mental health know nothing about mental illnesses. I blame the system and the schooling more than the nurses themselves. But thanks anyway.P.S. Sorry I sound bitter, but working with nurses and seeing how they behave and treat one another (and the patients) makes me believe that the field as a whole is seriously lacking in this area.
You have valid points. Unfortunately, although the system is designed to be accessible to the 'handicapped' (for lack of a better word), it seems that it is basically geared towards those using mobility devices. I don't know the exact reason given to you for being failed; so you might want to take your concerns up the ladder a little bit if you feel it was unwarranted. Maybe you could become the pioneer to effect change in this regard. You're right in that there are so many nurses who know very little about mental illness. In fact, there are very many nurses who know little about nursing. I've seen those who went from CNA to an MSN without ever having passed a bedpan or administered an aspirin on the job. How they can profess to have 'mastered' the field of nursing defies MY definition of the world. But technically, they did the bookwork to say they are masters on the field. There are times when the Trainer needs to be trained. Often times, it is already assumed that you 'know' based on your credentials and as such, not questioned on your abilities to teach ALL that sit in your class when the actuality is that the ability to teach is limited to all HEALTHY students. Come to think of it, the last job application that I completed did ask, "Are you physically able to perform the duties of the job in which you are applying for?" it said nothing about mental abilities. Anyway, good luck to you in your quest to become a nurse. I do hope things work in your favor.
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You're right in that there are so many nurses who know very little about mental illness. In fact, there are very many nurses who know little about nursing.

I know this is taken out of context, but bahahaha. I had the biggest laugh at this--thanks.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health.
I know this is taken out of context, but bahahaha. I had the biggest laugh at this--thanks.
I meant that as no insult to anyone but there are those people who can ace any exam that you put in front of them, yet are incapable of application. I know of a nurse personally who spends an entire shift trying to convince others that she's actually doing her job when in reality, she has done nothing by the end of the day. It happens......
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This is a great discussion. however, I want to add a note of caution regarding depression. Some people at the very depths of this disease are completely immune to anything positive. Offers of help and guidance, anything positive, serve only to generate anger and cynicism, driving the afflicted deeper into the depths of their own misery. Someone like this is often beyond help and succombs to suicide without anyone having ever known the depths of their suffering. For someone like this there was never a chance of survival, the disease having been too far advanced. Others survive solely out of spite for the world, and the disease that has taken so much from them, caused them so much pain. For these people, clinging to a life of pain and bitterness is the only way they have to not let the disease beat them. It is a way of saying "You have robbed me of everything, you have destroyed for me the faintest glimpses of love, joy, and hope. You have cursed me to live a life of hatred towards all that is beautiful, sweet, and kind. Of all you have taken, I have one thing left, the heart that pounds within me, and I curse you with it's every beat. I live if only to mock you. " Someone like this will only mock your positive gestures and think you a fool. I am not sure how to help someone like this or what advice to give. I simply want you to know that depression is often times more than just needing a shoulder to cry on, more than flirting with casual attempts at self harm. For some, depression is a way of life, for those who survive anyway.

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Hold your loved ones close. Doesn't matter if they think you are a pain in the patootie or not. Get up in their business--your cousins, nieces, nephews, siblings, your parents. Especially your kids--biological or not.

Thank you for this post, CP. After losing one too many friends to suicide, it changes the way one sees life, especially me.

CP, have you ever thought about being a suicide hotline person????? I bet you'd be awesome.

Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. It is not a character defect, it is not poor parenting, it is not a lot of things that would prevent someone from getting help with someone who is at risk.

Thank you for this post. xo

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I appreciate your heartfelt note and expressions. Thank- you for sharing

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

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Good post. My best friend shot and killed himself when I was 16. I was 100% shocked and devastated as he never gave any signs that I noticed that he was considering such a thing, although looking back I'm sure they were there.

Now, working in psych, I hear sooo many people say, "My mom (or dad or spouse, etc) thinks I need to just suck it up and move on." People who have never dealt with a mental illness don't get it, and how could they?

I know people want the best for their family members, and when mommy just lays on the couch all day and hasn't showered in 3 days, it's easy to say, "What is WRONG with you? Get up and DO something!" People don't realize that it's not that easy. People with depression would love to be able to "just get up" but asking that of someone with depression is no different than asking a double amputee to "just go for a jog." It's unrealistic, impossible, and if they could do it that easily then they would.

It's not easy to live with a family member who has depression. It can be frustrating. If anything, encourage that person to go to a doctor and get help, especially if it's someone who used to be active and productive. Asking someone to "get up and do something" isn't encouraging when they feel like they can't. Instead, it makes them feel like MORE of a burden and might send them over the edge to do the one and only thing they feel they can do to make everyone's life easier which is ending their own.

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