"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant) - page 7

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i... Read More

  1. by   Mulan
    [QUOTE=caroladybelle]


    I have given thousands of dollars for bridal showers, wedding presents, second wedding presents, baby showers, bar/t mitzvah presents, graduation presents, baby's first birthday, etc. Not to mention bought ugly band candles, overpriced wrapping paper, and stale popcorn. Everyone always says, "well, we will be doing the same for you", but obviously they won't.

    How true. The mothers are always expecting you to buy this useless, overpriced crap that they are selling (which the kids should be selling themselves) as well as all the presents as mentioned above. No, the single or childfree will never get it back. One learns to be selective about who, what and when regarding buying or gifting.
  2. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from pattyzaccy
    couldn't it be that anyone with kids 10 yrs old and under at least should have xmas morning off? my kids are 20 and 23 yrs old but still want mommy there on xmas morning with presents from santa!!!biggest day of year for kids moms should be there!!!

    my answer to this: it's not as if you didn't know when you took your hospital job (or at least by the time you finished your orientation!) that hospitals are in the business of caring for patients 24 hours a day 7 days a week, including weekends, holidays, and christmas! presumably, you knew you had kids (or wanted to have them) when you chose to work in the hospital. you're very fortunate that you were able to have children when you wanted to ; cervical cancer took that choice away from me. the fact that i was not fortunate enough to be able to have children does not mean that i or my childless friends are less deserving of a holiday with our families. you chose to have the children, and you chose to work in the hospital, rehab facility, nursing home (whatever.) so work your fair share of the holidays, and please don't complain to me about it! i'm working my fair share (and more!).
  3. by   SoulShine75
    Quote from Nurse Hatchett
    I do have children and very much wish I could spend every holiday home with them, but I chose to be a nurse and not have a 9-5 M-F job. Therefore I have to make some sacrifices. At my place of employment, on Christmas Day, everyone works 4 hrs. I love this myself. This way no one is stuck there on X-mas for 12 hrs. It works well for us. The other holidays, if you are sched. you work, but if you want it off, use vacation or someone will usually always trade days with you, so they can get the holiday pay. Marie...apparently this co-worker needs to learn to make sacrifices, or find another line of work. As if it is your fault she has children
    I like this idea of everyone working atleast 4 hours that day. I think around the holidays the unit should make a decision together about how holiday schedules will work. This way everyone is happy. I also think everyone should either work Christmas Eve or Christmas day so that everyone can have some time with family. (Unless someone wants to work both). No one should be made to feel bad for having kids or not having kids. Yes, it's hard to leave your kids on Christmas to go to work, especially when they're young, but those are sacrifices you must make when you choose to be a nurse. Sounds to me like someone is just jealous.
  4. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from jvanrn
    gosh i so feel your pain only this year i'm the "evil" one that is preventing a first time mom from being at home celebrating her childs first xmas.(other people are off this day, but i'm the only one with no kids that is working her shift, thus i guess the only one capable of switching) well i have 2 step children but have been told that "they don't count as they already have their "real" mother there to celebrate with them..." (yes isn't that nice? ) i wasn't evil the past 2 christmases because i worked them. one year i was kind of "guilt tripped" but i didn't mind too much. i now realize that this will happen every year if i let it. this new mom isn't the one giving me the guilt trip...it's the other staff! if they care so much...let them switch! especially after being told that my stepchildren "don't count".
    well it's not as if the new mom's little darling can read the calender! let them celebrate december 23 -- the child will never know the difference!
  5. by   Deidre Shiobhan
    The day we've decided to be a nurse we should be well aware of the working hours. People tend to use different excuse to get things done, it's ok to switch roster if the reason given is justifiable and make sense.
    I do 12hour shift - 2days work and 2 days off, I've been doing this for 5 years and I find that this kind of working hours are pretty flexible. I love doing 12hr shift and haven't consider changing.
    Perhaps the department can come up with some shift duties that can facilitate roster changing, I won't dare say that 12hr shift is definitely good because there are also staff that abuse the system too.
    I think it's compromising and cooperation among each other is still more important. Hope you all agree.
  6. by   MamaTheNurse
    Quote from JVanRN
    Gosh I so feel your pain Only this year I'm the "evil" one that is preventing a first time mom from being at home celebrating her childs first xmas.(other people are off this day, but I'm the only one with no kids that is working her shift, thus I guess the ONLY one capable of switching) Well I have 2 step children but have been told that "they don't count as they already have their "real" mother there to celebrate with them..." (yes isn't that nice? ) I wasn't evil the past 2 Christmases because I worked them. One year I was kind of "guilt tripped" but I didn't mind too much. I now realize that this will happen every year if I let it. This new mom isn't the one giving me the guilt trip...it's the other staff! If they care so much...let them switch! Especially after being told that my stepchildren "don't count".
    that first time mom you mention at the beginning of your post needs to wake up!! depending on when the child was born, they are going to be a year old, max - is her child functioning at a developmental level of a 4 or 5 year old and will notice that she's not present for "Baby's first Christmas"? I doubt it!!! My first child was 3 months old for his first Christmas - that year, I had Christmas Eve off and we spent it at the house of my husband's step-sister with our whole tribe because she was dying of cancer - good thing we went because we went to Canada to visit my family for a week and she died the day before we got back and she adored our baby - she had her hospital bed set up in the living room and we put him in bed with her and he sat there, just chillin', for I don't know how long. anyway, I had to work Christmas Day, so we opened presents when I got home - we had to open the baby's for him and he was more interested in the wrappings than anything else - my husband had more fun with his toys than he did!!!! the next day, we crossed the border into Canada and flew 4 hours out to my parents house where we had Christmas with them on the 27th and stayed for a week. my son is now 8 and loves to look at the pictures but has no memories at all of that whirlwind Christmas.......Christmas is what you make it - we had 3 awesome Christmases that year and only 1 was actually on the 25th!!!
  7. by   MamaTheNurse
    oops I forgot - that year, I actually had co-workers ask me if I wanted Christmas off because it was the baby's first one - I said "no" because it just worked out better the way it was!!!!!
  8. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    I do have children, and I would want Christmas off. I realize that there will be many holidays that I will have to work.

    As for being with your parents on Christmas, it's not the same. If I didn't have children, having Christmas late or early wouldn't be as big of deal.

    However, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of Christmas morning. Just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on Christmas day when you were little.

    As for the OP's coworker's comment, that was just completely rude. I'm sure many think it, but to come right out and say it, and so bluntly, is uncalled for.

    As for the selling, I hate fundraisers! However, the children are not allowed to go door to door anymore. That is the reason the parents take the brochures to work.

    Marie_LPN, I am sorry for your situation. I know at one hospital where I looked into had this plan in place:

    Christmas day was worth 2 holidays, all others were worth one. All the employees were required to work 2 holidays. Therefore, those without children usually took the Christmas holiday in order to have all other holidays off.

    I really think that your coworker was wrong to say this to you.



    Quote from caroladybelle


    I have given thousands of dollars for bridal showers, wedding presents, second wedding presents, baby showers, bar/t mitzvah presents, graduation presents, baby's first birthday, etc. Not to mention bought ugly band candles, overpriced wrapping paper, and stale popcorn. Everyone always says, "well, we will be doing the same for you", but obviously they won't.

    How true. The mothers are always expecting you to buy this useless, overpriced crap that they are selling (which the kids should be selling themselves) as well as all the presents as mentioned above. No, the single or childfree will never get it back. One learns to be selective about who, what and when regarding buying or gifting.
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from fun2care
    i do have children, and i would want christmas off. i realize that there will be many holidays that i will have to work.

    as for being with your parents on christmas, it's not the same. if i didn't have children, having christmas late or early wouldn't be as big of deal.

    however, the little children will be so upset without their moms or dads present to share the joy of christmas morning. just think how you would feel if your mom or dad wasn't at home on christmas day when you were little.

    .

    if you absolutely have to have christmas off to be with your kids, please don't work in a 24/7/365 unit. work in a doctor's office or clinic, occupational health or school nursing. i'm happy to do my share of holidays, but i don't want to do your share, too. and no one else should have to. having christmas a day early or two days late shouldn't be a big deal for anyone, you included. but if it is, don't take the job where you're expected to work your share of holidays and then complain about it.

    as for the little kid whose mommy and daddy aren't there to open presents and experience the joy of christmas morning; christmas is about far more than a date on the calender, and maybe if you were taught that when you were little, you'd get it now. your christmas morning can be just as joyful on december 28!
  10. by   mstigerlily
    Quote from pattyzaccy
    Couldn't it be that anyone with kids 10 yrs old and under at least should have xmas morning off? My kids are 20 and 23 yrs old but still want mommy there on xmas morning with presents from santa!!!Biggest day of year for kids moms should be there!!!
    That is ridiculous. I have three children, 13, 5 & 18 months and have scheduled myself to work Wed/Thurs (Thanksgiving Eve/Night) - who cares - Thanksgiving can be done just as well on Friday night - everyone is off anyway. AND I get the holiday pay.

    I've asked to take some vacation days before Xmas and to have Xmas Eve off (I work nights) but will work Christmas night (the 25th) and also NY's Eve and NY's Day (I hate NY's Eve anyway and never go out. SO yes, I am hoping to get Xmas eve off for that reason but I knew when I decided to work in as a nurse in a hospital setting that everyone must take their turn and work holidays, nights, weekends. Everyone has some sort of family and friends to spend holidays with, even if they don't have kids they still have spouses, parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, good friends. Mothers shouldn't get any preferential treatment.

    Melissa
  11. by   Mulan
    Quote from Fun2Care

    As for the selling, I hate fundraisers! However, the children are not allowed to go door to door anymore. That is the reason the parents take the brochures to work.
    Parents have been bringing those brochures to work for the last 34 years at least.
  12. by   mstigerlily
    What a great attitude! It's a lovely gift to spend a holiday with the residents or patients - after all, I'm sure they'd rather be home too, just like you!

    Holidays don't HAVE to be celebrated on the day of. Just think, if you celebrate Christmas Dec 27th, you can do your "last minute shopping" on the 26th thus taking advantage of those rock-bottom post holiday sales!

    Melissa


    Quote from NicInNC
    While I'm a CNA and not a nurse yet, I'm actually looking forward to working Christmas Day. I have to work the night before AND the day of Christmas. But I work 3-11, so I will be able to spend the morning with them watching them open presents. That's the most exciting part for me. I'll also be able to have lunch at my parents like we normally do.

    But I'm also excited about spending the day with my residents! I get to be with them on such a special day and will hopefully meet many of their family members. I just think that Christmas will be special this year and that I'll truly be giving and receiving a wonderful gift!
    :angel2:
  13. by   imenid37
    To the OP. I didn't read everyone's response. I'd just tell the co-worker. "I just told you why I need Christmas off (you explained your family situation) and it happens to be my turn to have it off this year. I am sorry you feel the way you do, but I can't switch w/ you." After the persion asked you to switch and you declined, that should be it. You are not responsible to ensure that person's Christmas schedule suits her kids. If you are like most of us, you have worked many Christmases and this person has to work this out in her own life too, not try to intimidate others. I have three kids. Christmas is special, but it is just one day. You will "miss out" to some extent when you have kids and have a work obligation on Christmas, but if your child was in need of care on this special day, you'd want someone to be there too. That's just the way it is. I have worked my share of Christmases over the years. I have three teenage daughters. That is just a consequence of your choice to be a nurse on the type of unit you work on. I think Marie's co-worker was WAY OUT OF LINE. If she sulks about this, it is her problem, not yours. I hope you have a nice Christmas w/ your family Marie.

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