I am in my last (6th) week of orientation. Happy and terrified. Happy because I no longer have to work along side with my preceptor. Terrified because it's my last week he's still doing half of my patient care FOR me. Calling the doctor FOR me. not because I don't want to do it, but he just takes over. He even gets mad when I say I want to call and learn how to speak with the physicians. He then gives me a lecture me on how I don't delegate. It's his first time precepting, he just never learned to "let go". He sometimes will say "I am gonna let you do everything" at the beginning of the shift, but as soon as it gets busy he starts to take everything over!! He's a great nurse/co-worker to others(most of the time), but when it comes to being a preceptor, he turns into a complete different person! Heís generally nice, and smiles but whenever heís with me Ė he never smiles. no kidding.
- He bosses me around instead of treating me like a co-worker and a nurse capable of making own decision when he's stressed. "Go do ____ right now" "No, stop that, go to room _____ right now".
- Constantly tell me "You need to be faster, I don't know how, but just be faster"
- Gets mad at me for taking time on looking up medication, not passing med fast enough and do my 3 check - he say it's waste of time to do that many check.
- Only answer question when heís in good mood, otherwise he will just say ďyou donít have time for this right nowĒ and tell me to do something else.
- When we are in the patientís room, he'd boss me around, to a point my patient had to secretly ask me if heís my boss and ďwhy is he bossing you aroundĒÖ
- Today in morning round, our manager is there, so he starts to question me all these things he never asked me or talked to me about, in the past 6 week, he never does that, when I have question he doesnít explain, but he acts totally different in front of the manager, and it made me looked back because I didnít know how to answer some of the questions!
- When I offered to help a coworker out, he gets mad at me and wouldnít let me to do things for them even though I had time and already offered my help to my other coworkers. So that end up making me look bad.
- But he turns around and try to act like the most helpful person on the unit. I donít get it!!! I am not trying to compete with him but sometimes the way he does things just make him look like his insecure if I gain other peopleís approval and he tries to make me look bad.
- Today, we have a patient about to discharge. In front of other nurses, he said it loudly, ďI am going to you do EVERYTHING by yourself, I am not going to do anything for you, I want you to focus on discharge and I will take care of everything else for you.
So go do the discharge, donít go to other patientís room!Ē Itís not like I donít know how to do it or always ask him for help about discharge. I know how to do it, and I have done it! He just never let me finish the whole process by myself Ė he likes to take over the job and tell me to do other things. When he said it like this in front of all other nurses, I think it just made me look stupid as if I am slow, donít know how to do it.Anyway, since he didnít allow me to do anything else for my other patient. I focused on discharge. In the middle of it, I checked on one of my patient. He said he was going to give their medication and all, turned out NOTHING was given. 2 IV antibiotic are late, PO meds are late too. He end up didnít do anything other than taking vital sign for my other patient receiving transfusion. GOSH!!! It was already almost 1800. And 3 of my patientís 1700 medication is not given.
- He always does this, lack of communication, changes his mind constantly, sometimes he will say one thing, but do a complete opposite thing. Or sometimes I will discuss about the things we should bring up to the doctor, he will tell me ďno, whatís the point of saying that? Donít need it. donít say itĒ and the next thing you know, the doctor comes in Ė he goes up to the doctor and address the whatever I just discussed with him.
Anyway, he seem to be a helpful co worker, a good nurse. But just SUCKS at being a preceptor.He acts differently when heís in front of the doctors, nurses then when heís with me. The only reason I choose to stay with him is because I didnít want to cause drama and I know heís a good nurse. I still learn from him but mostly just secretly observing and taking notes. Talking to management is not an option because he just acts so differently in front of them than me. Management think he's doing a good job, and I doubt they will believe me if I mention all the things he's been doing.
anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I donít feel ready to be off orientation but have no choice, I guess I already have the worst planned - quit - if i feel this job is too much for me or if I am unsafe for my patient.