New nurse feeling overwhelmed and miserable!

[RN2012Newbie]

First off, I would like to state that I know I am extremely blessed to have landed a job in an acute care hospital very close to graduation. I know there are many new grads that look for jobs for months before they find something. With that being said, i'm still having these emotions that I'll explain below.

I have felt miserable ever since I started working. My coworkers for the most part are nice and answer questions when I ask. The doctors, well you know how it goes when there are some good and some bad in regards to contacting them for patient needs...

But my emotions are constantly on a roller-coaster going down. I work 12 hour night shift and it is really hard on my body. During the day I try my best to sleep, but If I don't use a sleeping aid like melatonin I'm lucky if I get a 2hr nap in. When I do use melatonin, I feel drowsy the first 4ish hours after waking up.

Thoughts are always racing through my mind worrying about how things might go wrong on the upcoming shift, or what I might have done wrong during the previous night. These thoughts have become so debilitating. I feel like crying every time before I go to work. I know that people say it's normal for new grads to feel scared and overwhelmed in the beginning, but how do you know when your level of being "overwhelmed" is normal. I cant pin point out what exactly I'm so scared about or what makes the thoughts race through my head, besides being worried about having missed something or doing something wrong on the previous shift. On my days off i'm fine and can take my mind off of work for the most part, but the day leading up to my first night and the days between my shifts I go crazy.

I do not mean to rant and vent so much, however I feel so alone in this process. I have a great boyfriend who is a great supporter, but I still feel so miserable. Could it be the change in hours that have done this to me? Would that really cause so much stress, anxiety, and being so miserable. I know the majority of new nurses start on night shift, so why is it so hard on me?

Thank you so much for reading my post, I hope you have something to share.

[Catzilla]

Dude. People say that the first year will be tough. That nursing school and working in the hospital are worlds apart. For the most part, I think we listened. But in no way could we have understood. No way could we have really known what we were in for.

I did not think I'd be THAT new grad. You know- the one who is painfully anxious, nervous, awkward, and blows at time management. But I AM. But you know, so what. They gave us a chance-we got the job. We're going to be wobbly on our legs at first. Not gonna quit. I Look forward to the Fall of 2013.

When I'm a more confident, less spastic, new-ISH nurse who survived their first year.

Here's to the future!!!:***:

[Catzilla]

PS: I can relate to most everything posted in this thread too!

[Anne36, LPN]

Im also a new grad LPN going through the exact same thing. Ive been sick , nauseated, cant eat or sleep, having nightmares about work. It seems like I have already made a few mistakes at work, but nothing directly related to patient care. Everyone has been okay when I leave my shift but it seems like there is still way too much to learn. The last week has been very rough for me. I pray that tommorow night goes okay for me. I need 1 good night.

[Barnstormin' PMHNP]

I'm totally in agreement with all of you, and feeling the same way. I don't feel like barfing and crying every morning anymore after 5 1/2 months, and I am more confident and feel more familiar with the ICU routine. But I still feel like a pretend nurse and can't wait to get a year or to in so I feel a bit more relaxed and knowledgable about everything. I'm tired of worrying ALL the Time lol.

[BlueJean]

Wow- this is a relief to read. I am a new grad (May) on a critical care unit and, despite good school grades and a successful previous career, I am apparently HORRIBLE at nursing. Argh. My first preceptor was so on top of everything, I basically just shadowed her. Didn't realize the problem until NEXT preceptor saw I had no independence, no independent priority-setting practice, etc. So now I'm mid- termination process and am nauseated and miserable all the time. So humiliating and disappointing! First couple shifts with third preceptor went great- so maybe something is finally clicking. Lawd.

[babysteps25]

No need to apologize for venting - nursing can be stressful!! I can totally relate to the original poster. I am 8 months into my nursing career and still obsess over events from my shift even when I'm not at work. I am fortunate enough to be on day shift, but the night before I work I have a hard time falling asleep because I am anxious about my upcoming shift or oversleeping - I set 4 alarms every night!! Benadryl and melatonin do not work well for me either.

[littlenurse21]

You are not alone! I've been in my new grad program working on the floor for almost a month now. However, I always feel like a nervous wreck. My preceptor always dings me on my charting and how my time management skills are. But what can I do? I'm new! She knows that but I'm starting to feel so discouraged. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself but I'm also trying to pick up the pace on my tasks. Last night after my shift, I cried before going to bed thinking maybe nursing isn't for me and I get scared that some of my coworkers think I'm incompetent when I'm really not. I have about 5-6 weeks before I finish my program but I'm starting to dread going into work. Help how do you guys work on your time management? I'm awful at discharges and admits but more on the admits since it takes forever. My preceptor even pointed that out and it kinda hurt but I am trying my best

LITERALLY covered EVERYTHING I was planning to post. I mean, you didn't leave a single thing out. The criticism, the feeling of incompetence. Although, I do take it as constructive criticism, but after a while you feel incompetent and discouraged especially when your preceptor is not really reassuring you but rather reminding you how you've only made it to 2 patients and have 10 more weeks left on orientation. Mind you, my patients are like ICU patients and I'm expected to handle 6-7 of them.

My main problems are level of comfort, confidence, speed [time management], prioritizing.. so i guess EVERYTHING! One of the things my preceptor and nurse specialist keep telling me is to find "my system" when starting off my day. I completely agree with the importance of this component but how do I find my system when I'm trying to figure out the whole entire picture.

Does anyone have any advice on how they conduct their routine day? Any tips appreciated!

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

routine night shift- I go in get my assignment asap an then look everyone up, read last few doctor's notes, look over mar quickly and all nursing orders, check to see if any testing or labs need to be done. i come in early even after 2 years and always will, makes the whole shift easier. then i get report. then if all pts seem stable enough i go assess and give meds to the pt i think will be the fastest, any walkie talkies who wont need to be changed or require trach care, etc. get in and out and maybe chart on that pt, ( we have emr so i can do charting on a routine assessment in a few minutes) then onto the next pt. but on a typical shift i may get 2 empty beds and be assigned them at 1910 with pacu and er on the phone before i am doing report on my other pts. the extreme anxiety and dread decreased significantly after 5-6 months but not completely . i have had nurses with 20years of experience tell me they still get anxious and dread it

[owlRN01]

Dude. People say that the first year will be tough. That nursing school and working in the hospital are worlds apart. For the most part, I think we listened. But in no way could we have understood. No way could we have really known what we were in for.

I did not think I'd be THAT new grad. You know- the one who is painfully anxious, nervous, awkward, and blows at time management. But I AM. But you know, so what. They gave us a chance-we got the job. We're going to be wobbly on our legs at first. Not gonna quit. I Look forward to the Fall of 2013.

When I'm a more confident, less spastic, new-ISH nurse who survived their first year.

Here's to the future!!!:***:

I agree! In a way though I feel like I am wishing the next year of my life away just so I can be over the new nurse 1st year bs. I know every nurse has gone through it but I get so scared just thinking about what the next year is going to be like!

[Larry3373]

LITERALLY covered EVERYTHING I was planning to post. I mean, you didn't leave a single thing out. The criticism, the feeling of incompetence. Although, I do take it as constructive criticism, but after a while you feel incompetent and discouraged especially when your preceptor is not really reassuring you but rather reminding you how you've only made it to 2 patients and have 10 more weeks left on orientation. Mind you, my patients are like ICU patients and I'm expected to handle 6-7 of them.

My main problems are level of comfort, confidence, speed [time management], prioritizing.. so i guess EVERYTHING! One of the things my preceptor and nurse specialist keep telling me is to find "my system" when starting off my day. I completely agree with the importance of this component but how do I find my system when I'm trying to figure out the whole entire picture.

Does anyone have any advice on how they conduct their routine day? Any tips appreciated!

1 get report from previous shift.

2 go assess all patients thoroughly

3 get mars together and check against med orders. Look quickly for any "now" orders that need to be done soon or critical labs that should be addressed. Write down all the times that meds are due at the top of your mar or on a sep sheet of paper. Know all blood sugars for dm patients so you can grab insulin with med pass.

4 pass first round of meds. Make sure you know what most recent vitals were first.

5. Do a more thorough chart check, especially for the last 12-24 hours. Look for specimens for labs that still need to be obtained, read h&p, read med hx.

6. Eat and go to bathroom as needed. You might work on charting during this time.

7. Start preparing for 2nd med pass if need be.

Chart, chart, chart

8. Once caught up, do dressing changes, start new Iv, ambulate postop patients, offer to help others (you will need their help at some point).

9. Make sure you are making rounds on all your patients every 2 hours at least, unless you've already been in there room for something else recently.

10. Pass final round of meds starting an hour or more before end of shift and make a closing note on your charting.

11. Find out who you're giving report to and be ready to give report.

Disclaimer: this is a system that works for me at the facility I work at. I'm not suggesting that this will work for everyone.

[Cauliflower]

Thank you for posting this----I could've written this word for word too. I'm not an anxious/ panicky person, but I sure have turned into one. It's so hard to judge whether this utter misery is worth sticking out for a year or whether it's not worth your sanity, sleep, and health. I relate to the same dread/ crying/barfing/ anxiety!

[nsgstu]

This thread has given me so much power and inspiration to move on with my new job as I am also a New Graduate Nurse. 2 months of orientation ending this week and soon will be on my own from next week. This feeling of anxiety, overwhelm, stress is all I relate to as well. When I do things at work, I feel pretty good on some stuff I do, but when I am unsure or just have self doubt about something I am bout to do, I just ask whoever nurse is nearby. But, I realized that when I ask questions, some of the nurses think I am incompetent or I don't know stuff. This makes me sick to my stomach because I know I am not incompetent. Its just that I am new and want to do everything safely. But, there are others who answer all my questions. This feeling of what next shift is gonna look like keeps me very anxious even on my day offs. I just can't wait for it to be 6 months like most of you said here.

Any words from you is going to be very encouraging to keep myself moving forward.

Thank you.