New grad RN on floor, night shift, am I depressed or am I normal...

**CalicoKitty, BSN, MSN, RN** · Aug 19, 2012

Really, you kind of sound loney. You don't have people that you can easily just hang out with. You have work. You have the long-distance relationships with your partner and family. But, you don't have someone to just go grab a cup of coffee (or beer) with. Downtime is important. Doing things you enjoy in your life may make your work easier to bear. I know it isn't an AN thing, but I'd suggest trying to meet people in your new city. I have been a member of Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup for years. It is a way to find "meetings" of groups that share common interests (like if you like running, you can find running groups near you, or poodles, or wine and cheese). I'm sure there are other similar sites out there. My husband and I moved to a new city for his job, and we're hours from our friends and family now. It takes a while to build up a social network, but it is a lot better than going home alone all the time.

For nursing, yeah, new grads all feel pretty similar, a bit overwhelmed, overthinking everything that's been done, and patients can definitely be cranky (and their families, too). For that stuff, I like to read the vents on AN! I say "oh, i've felt that way too!"

Good luck!

Susie2310 · Aug 19, 2012

casias12, Thank you for your reply. AllNurses is just that, for all nurses, currently working or not. There are nurses who are not working currently who post on this forum. No-one is less of a nurse because they are not currently working. I keep my license and certifications up, and make a lot of effort to remain as current in my practice as possible. I have the right to reply to you as long as I am respectful, which I was.

tokebi · Aug 19, 2012

OP, you do sound depressed. The red flags are sleeping a lot, drinking alone. Can you choose a regular schedule, like either all days or all nights? Also, do you drink a glass or two, or until beyond tipsy? I drank alone a lot when I was younger and depressed. It was about the only enjoyable activity in otherwise dreadful daily motions I had to go through. The thing is, the long-term effect was that it turned me into a cranky, demotivated person. I was tired at work and impatient with people.

It takes an active effort to engage with people and socialize. But when you do, I think you'll feel so much different. And, if trying on your own becomes too much, I hope you'll seek out a professional to talk to. My best wishes for you...

SpEdtacular, MSN, RN, EMT-P · Aug 19, 2012

I think there's a very strong possibility that your symptoms are from working night shift. Not everyone (myself included) can adjust and when you can't you become cranky, emotional, sleepy, depressed, withdrawn, even physically ill. Maybe you could switch to day shift and see if that helps. I know that it's not always possible but it's worth looking into because if a company hires you they obviously think you have something to add and are often willing to work with you. On the other hand if you start getting to the point where you can't control your temper or can't concentrate on what you're doing and start having problems with patients and staff they may not be as helpful as they would have if you came to them earlier. I wish you the best of luck and hope you start feeling better.

Mulan · Aug 19, 2012

People that don't actually work in nursing don't have a clue as to what it's like.

You say you are in a city, I would get out and about on my days off, hit the museums or whatever there is there.

Maybe pick up a tourist guide, see the sights, try out some different cuisines, etc.

Take up a hobby of some kind, if you don't have one, to occupy your time.

Eat healthy, exercise, take up walking, avoid alcohol, are all things that I would try.

Have something to look forward to on your days off.

Maybe switch to day shift if you can. I hated nights and always felt really irritable just knowing that night shifts were coming up.

Good luck to you.

hakunamatata, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2012

Thanks all for answering, even the ones bickering - I'm always enthused to hear both sides of the story :)

I had to laugh at some of the responses, haha, I definitely don't have a drinking problem. I exercise 6 days a week (run, bike, yoga) and I always make sure to average 8 hours a night (day) of sleep. And I eat so healthy it makes some people mad haha. I do have a few wonderful friends here, from school, but it's not the same as a sibling or significant other, someone you can just drag out the door to hang out with you. I'm actually a pretty popular and well-liked gal, but my friends here require planning in advance, just like you would with any of your friends. So, I am doing the best I can, and I do take care of myself first. I really think the underlying issue is that I do not like the floor or bedside nursing - I got into it wanting to be an orthopedic practitioner, or go into mental health (long-term goals). I think I'm just going to "do my time" and get some experience, then start trying to make my real goals happen. One short-term goal I have is to work at a clinic or do ambulatory care, so hopefully I can venture into that with a couple of years experience.

I also really like the suggestion that maybe I should switch to days. I'm going to rotate and see if I can handle them, and go from there.

I appreciate all the support, as it's helpful (special thanks to you all being realistic!). Seems like I should just keep on keeping on, and know that this is temporary.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Sep 5, 2012

I am a new grad RN - got a job before I graduated on a high-acuity, fast-paced medicine floor at a top 5 (inner city) hospital, where everyone is super sick (or super MEAN).
I've got a lot of common sense and am a well-educated and emotionally mature gal for my age, so I feel like everything I'm feeling is normal and okay to feel...but...I'm really more concerned with what is happening in my mind on my time off. I'm nine weeks into my orientation and next week is my last week before I'm on my own, just to give an idea of where I am at.
I feel pretty confident in what I'm doing, I know when to get help and ask questions, and most of staff is pretty supportive. Most other nurses tell me I'm even ahead of the game and doing really well, esp. with time management. BUT, on my days/nights off, I feel like a different person now. I feel much more emotional, irritated, easily upset, all I want to do is sleep (my schedule gets really messed up on my nights off...), or sit around and sulk and drink wine. I think about work often too. It's very roller-coaster too, from "I can do better and will next time" to "I don't really care and let's just do what I can do minimally to get by before I start applying for other non-bedside/floor jobs after a year). Even on shift, I feel this way starting around 3am...coworkers, patients, everyone starts to **** me off and I dread the thought of having to give report.
ANYONE else feeling this way? I ask because I've been in the city that I'm living in alone for awhile now. My boyfriend is time zones away, and my sister and brother are as well. Not a single family member or anything here, I moved to where I am because the cost of living is cheaper and the job prospect was much more promising. I'm wondering if I should hang on for a year, or plan on maybe making a change more or less for the sake of my personal life. I have good support at my job, and I'd feel quite unethical and unprofessional if I left before 12 months. It's not even THAT bad, just...not great. Not great at all. Would love to hear some thoughts.

Hmm I dunno if it is normal but I wouldn't doubt that it might be more common than you think. I moved far away for a job to an area where I didn't and still don't know anyone. i work nights so then I can't even call people since I don't get up to enough energy to chat or text until about 1-3 am . and those friends have to get up at 5-6am for work. Very little left to do on nights off but work overtime, sleep constantly or watch tv.. I also find myself feeling as if I am a different person, and after 2 years it is very noticiable. You are deling with a lot of changes from working nights to working at a new job and I presume you are a new nurse also. How long have you been living in this city? If not that long, that is another change. It takes time to adjust to these things and sometimes in order to adjust you end up at a different place than where you started.

joanna73, BSN, RN · Sep 5, 2012

Lol anotherone, I could have written your post. That is my life to a T. I work and sleep. I'm also on nights. I like nights, but I find my rotation to be a killer. I have very little energy or motivation to do anything on my off nights. My time for this chapter is ending within the next 6-8 months. I plan to move and have a different job. Hang in there. You're not alone :)