Last September, I left everything and everyone I know (except my now fiance) to take a med/surg job in North Carolina. I signed a 2 yr contract to get a sign on bonus and relocation reimbursement. I was following the advice of nurses who came before me, including my mom, to start on a med/surg floor despite disliking it in nsg school. And guess what? I HATE it. I wanted to give it a chance...so I didn't express my unhappiness until a couple months in. Then I said I'd try nights....maybe that would be better. Now, not only do I STILL dislike work, I also hate my schedule. I can't work nights (I feel unsafe in the last couple of morning hrs), but I have to cuz my floor is beyond crazy during the day. Its a monitored neuromed floor, but we jokingly call it a monitored psyche ward. We get all the crazies...violent, delusion, hallucinating crazies. This does not help, I don't care for med/surg nursing AND I tend to dislike most of the pt population. I know its a terrible thing to say, but its true.
So, I've been actively trying to transfer for a few months now. I have shadowed in 3 places (after working 12 hr night shift, yuck) only to be told there are no positions available. I've been working with a rtn coordinator at the hospital, and she's been "helping" talking to other units for me, but I feel she has no vested interest. Last wk, I interviewed in the OR, and she actually forgot that I did. Then come to find out, the guy I interview with has been on vacation for a wk. Doh. So, I still don't know if I have the job. Plus, I'd have to give 4 wks notice if I get it...so I would really like to know soon...
Each time I go to work, it gets harder & harder. To say I dread it would be an understatement. I just worked four 12's in a row and had 5 diff day nurses to report to/from. The assignment was horrendous and I didn't get a single break on my last night. Later, I heard the day nurse I reported to actually asked for a diff assignment when she came back. And I had them for 4 nights!!!!!!!!!!
So, to add to the problem, my fiance doesn't currently have a job and his Veteran's Reimbursement runs up this month. I am getting so sick of the run around with transfer, I want to say just screw it and find a spot at another hospital. But I would owe so much money....I would have to pay for 3 broken contracts; sign-on, relocation, and my apt lease. I don't know what to do, but I can't stand this much longer. This isn't the type of job you can do & dislike it. I actually ended up crying in one of my terminal pt's rooms the other night (I know, very unprof, but I'm almost certain it didn't register with him!) Part of it was I was hanging blood for the second night for that guy who should have been comfort care (<---sorry, tangent!)
I don't know what to do. I love the support from everyone here, hence my vent. But please don't say stick it through...because I can't. I just can't anymore.