phone calls no outsider would believe

Specialties Emergency

Published

Got a call the other night, demanding to know if a man could still have an erection when he was dead, if it happened automatically.

I told him that was not something I was going to answer, he demanded to know why I didn't know, wasn't I a nurse??!! Go get another nurse!!

Told him again, this is not something I was going to discuss with him, so he told me he would be reporting me to both our local newspapers!

What's yours?

That was very kind of you.

She was more pleasant that the barking dog, that's for sure.:uhoh3:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in MICU, ER, SICU, Home Health, Corrections.

Of course all of these people had the "redneck" accent.

What fun we have.

...and what's a "redneck" accent got to do with anything??

rb

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in nursery, L and D.
I think it was determined the cat had a broken hip. (pelvic rock was still used in those days....:) )

It was the middle of the night but I called a local vet that was willing to go in....to HIS office, he wasn't consulting in the ER.:D

This thread is so funny Had to add this, my brother was in the ER and I was checking to see which room he was being admitted to while I was at work honest to gd I was NOT looking at his med recs-and I saw my moms CAT in the database.....had a med rec number and everything! It actually looks like the cat was admitted to the hospital at some point!:uhoh3:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Female caller asks- "Is dog semen harmful if swallowed?"

:barf02: OMG!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
A lady called in to say that her parrot ate one of her valium tablets and she asked what she should do...

My colleague told her to 'lower the perch'.

This is why I love the ER ...

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU-Stepdown.

Hmm. Well, I've never had a phone call to compare with these -some of 'em are really kind of far out there (amazing what people will call for).

However, I do have a 'call' incident I'd like to share.

It was back in the early '90s when I was a paramedic on a rig, and we were 'running red' for a witnessed arrest (cpr in progress -turned out to be nothing of the kind. A pastor (protestant) was visiting one of his flock, and wasn't feeling good -so the kind lady who was the host offered him one of her husbands' nitro tabs -because "this is what he takes when he doesn't feel good" -pastor took the tab (sublingual) and dropped out. He was sitting with a whale of a headache when we arrived -I gave him my standard lecture about taking someone elses medication etc etc) anyway, its a new subdivision, and we are slowing down, hunting for the next turn, and a pair of joggers are up ahead, waving us down frantically (not uncommong for the 'helpful neighbor' to flag you down -and can often be very helpful) so we goose it a bit and pull up next to them.

They were flagging us down because they wanted to ask us what we were doing!:angryfire

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU-Stepdown.
Yup- My husband works switch-board. Said he got about 6 Peanut Butter calls tonight. About the same. He feels bad 'cause he has to transfer to the "ask a nurse" line. He knows that the person is going to ask the nurse a silly question.

~Jen

My wife asked me what to do since we had one of the jars of peanut butter from the affected lot. Now, >I

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neurosciences.

I would like to here more stories from people.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.

I had one last wk

Caller: I'm 25 yrs old & I've been feeling SOB and have been fading in and out. I'll come to and I don't know where I am or what I'm doing for a few minutes.

Me: Who's your doc?

Caller: I don't have one I'm new in town

Me: If you think it's severe then you need to call 911 or come to the ER

Caller: Well the old lady gets off at 3 I'll have her bring me in

Just love it when they refer to their SO as the old lady:lol2:

Never did see the guy -I'm thinking the "old lady" didn't want him to get busted for drugs.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Very young voice at 0200: Can my girlfriend get pregnant through her underwear?"

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Hands down, you ER folks have the BEST stories!!!:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle:chuckle

mc3:nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospitalist.
Yeah, kinda like when the administrator thought it was real funny when i let one of the residents sing on the intercom one afternoon too. She was singing the eygyptian themed song about the people in france don't wear any underpants ...

I didn't know he was still upstairs *shrug* some crap about it being degrading or some crap. The resident started it! hehe :rotfl: hehe I don't care, the residents are happy and stay amused LOL

Many years ago, when I worked in general surgery in a hospital in Canada, we had a homeless guy who burned himself at the soup kitchen. He was a very happy wanderer, so we pinned a note to his robe "Hi, my name is... Please return me to 3N." Well, the DON saw it and just about had a stroke. She said we were robbing him of his dignity, etc. Now there were 3 of us for 26 pts (no aides, no LPNs, no nothing) and we were running our butts off. We told her that he didn't even know about the note, but she insisted that we remove it. We told her fine and said that when he got lost for real, it wasn't our fault. The very next evening, he escaped off the floor and made his way to administration. He got into the administrator's office and peed on the big cheese's chair. We got permission to put the note back the next morning.:lol2:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment