phone calls no outsider would believe

Specialties Emergency

Published

Got a call the other night, demanding to know if a man could still have an erection when he was dead, if it happened automatically.

I told him that was not something I was going to answer, he demanded to know why I didn't know, wasn't I a nurse??!! Go get another nurse!!

Told him again, this is not something I was going to discuss with him, so he told me he would be reporting me to both our local newspapers!

What's yours?

Specializes in Emergency.
OK, after the big EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, I would have said, "You'll need to ask the ASPCA!"

OK. Laughing my orifice off now. Thank you very much.

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I received a phone call asking the " clinical term for ass-crack" I yelled at the caller for being stupid and wasting my time but I realized I DIDNT know the clincial term for ass crack. I asked one of the docs and she suggested " gluteal cleft" If he had called back, I would have told him that.:monkeydance:

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Specializes in CCU 3yrs, Emergency 15yrs.

A lady called in to say that her parrot ate one of her valium tablets and she asked what she should do...

My colleague told her to 'lower the perch'.

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:p I never worked in the ER but in a Pedi office. We had a baby with some feeding difficulties and mom was advised to supplement after breast feeding. Dad called and wanted to know if he nursed too if that would help milk production!!!

And the answer, of course, is YES. :idea: :balloons:

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A woman called our hospital at 3 AM on a weekend. She told me that she had given birth here over 30 years ago, and wanted to know if I could retrieve the records, as she was looking for her daughter now, who she had given up for adoption

Wow, was she drunk?

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My mom yelled at me for a similar thing. I was painting the baby's room a few weeks before he came out, so I was stretching my arms up over my head. When he was born, he did have the cord wrapped around his neck 3x!! So, maybe there is some "truth" to a few of the old wive's tales. Who knows?

How the heck are you supposed to get dressed, wash your hair, or prevent frozen shoulder if you don't reach over your head for 9 months? :uhoh21:

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Wow, was she drunk?

I didn't think so at the time. Since I was adopted myself, I tried to give her some advise on how to pursue her goal of finding her daughter. We actually had a very interesting conversation. She probably didn't know too much about the process, and since I had searched and found my birthmother's family, I was able to help her.

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Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
A lady called in to say that her parrot ate one of her valium tablets and she asked what she should do...

My colleague told her to 'lower the perch'.

:lol2: :roll poor birdie!

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I had one a couple of weeks ago. Person had an old dog that she wanted euthanized because it was sick. She balked at our fee she wanted us to go to house and do it for free. She also wasn't a client and lived 50 miles away.

So she asked me if her blood pressure pills would kill the dog. I told that I didn't know as I don't work on people. She could call her local doctor maybe he would know.

Fuzzy

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Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.
I had one a couple of weeks ago. Person had an old dog that she wanted euthanized because it was sick. She balked at our fee she wanted us to go to house and do it for free. She also wasn't a client and lived 50 miles away.

So she asked me if her blood pressure pills would kill the dog. I told that I didn't know as I don't work on people. She could call her local doctor maybe he would know.

Fuzzy

?????

I absolutely do not understand this post. You don't work on people but you work in an ED? I don't get it.

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Specializes in Me Surge.
I didn't think so at the time. Since I was adopted myself, I tried to give her some advise on how to pursue her goal of finding her daughter. We actually had a very interesting conversation. She probably didn't know too much about the process, and since I had searched and found my birthmother's family, I was able to help her.

That was very kind of you.

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I had one a couple of weeks ago. Person had an old dog that she wanted euthanized because it was sick. She balked at our fee she wanted us to go to house and do it for free. She also wasn't a client and lived 50 miles away.

So she asked me if her blood pressure pills would kill the dog. I told that I didn't know as I don't work on people. She could call her local doctor maybe he would know.

Fuzzy

LOL, I was wondering if I could slip a few metoprolols to a nearby barking dog with an irresponsible and unpleasant owner, just to slow down the dog's heart and make it go 'to sleep'. I was so PO'd at that woman when I walked down to politely inform her that her dog had been barking for 2 hours, and maybe she could bring it in the house...:angryfire She told me to basically jump in a lake, that she didn't care if it annoyed me, she didn't want the dog in the house.:angryfire

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