Macho Men in the ED

Specialties Emergency

Published

Specializes in ER, Psych, Telephone Triage.

I have worked in 5 ER's as an RN on both East and West Coast. And on both sides of the country you always run into a few Macho Men Nurses in the ED. These are the ones with poor impulse control and poor coping skills and they alway's seem to internalize anything that an angry patient says to them. Quite a few that I have worked with were Homophobic also.

In situatons when Patients are aggressive with me I always try and set limits for acceptable behavior and or defuse the situation butttttttttt............. The Macho men always prefer to do a take down. I avoid a Take Down if I can because someone usually gets injured and there is risk to life and limb and liability issues also. But if all else fails I will be in the mix for the Take down.

The Macho men enjoy pushing the buttons of the already agitated pt. a few notches higher till he escalates and attacks. For what? Is it worth it? Why push the guy's buttons? What if he has a knife or a gun or grabs and IV pole and bashes your brains in alittle or waits for a smaller more vulnerable prey to vent his anger on now that you egged him on?

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

There are many different personality types. You might be calm and able to difuse some situations as a result of being calm. Others might be agressive and as such can difuse situations by taking a patient down.

Both are needed in a good ER. I try to avoid working there unless I must and I am the latter. Calm most of the time but agressive when needed.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

FWIW, I know women who also egg on agitated patients, with the same predictable results.

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Specializes in ED, OR, SAF, Corrections.
You might be calm and able to difuse some situations as a result of being calm. Others might be agressive and as such can difuse situations by taking a patient down.

Being aggressive and in-your-face NEVER defuses a situation with an agitated person, it only escalates EVERYTHING. There are times when things are past the stage of de-fusing, and then the only recourse IS 'taking them down', but trying to match or outmatch their aggression with your aggression only makes matters worse.

I can't stand working with the macho types, they cause more problems than they ever solved because everything becomes about them and their issues ("Nobody is going to dis-respect me" crap - breaking news, dude, this isn't about YOU). We aren't in this profession to work out our issues.

That's not to say you tolerate BS or abuse, but talking softly (and HIDING your big stick until or IF it's needed) solves 100 times more problems than simply jumping up into someone's face all "I'm the Juggernaut, *****!" That takes NO brains at all, any thug with two brain cells to rub together can do the same. We're the professionals and as such should be expected to act with a little more finesse. Just as you'd never yell at someone on the ledge of a building 'to jump', you should proceed with a little bit of reason.

Lord save us all from a 'macho man'. :twocents:

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Homophobic Male Nurse:confused: I thought homophobe types stereotype male nurses & would steer clear...anyway, the post reminds of a male nurse I came across as a pt - b/c I am a male between 30-45 yo he seemed to go overboard to make sure I don't take his work as being gay that he appeared to overact the regular dude role. It is difficult to clearly describe like instead of acting even slightly compassionate he acted almost like it was a ballgame! Like the way he talked, or when physical contact was necessary...I noticed he was very gallant & caring talking to women, & I'm sure he would be very civil & compasssionate with say elderly men or children...but with say the age group of 20-60 he might be putting on this 'I'm not the sensitive type' show. And, I'm obviously not generalizing (it is an n=1 so obviously statistically meaningless, might be that specific guy's personal issue) but is it possible sometimes the straight male nurse is thinking the pt may stereotype him (or even think he is sending signals) & overcompensate...& in some cases the machismo may be an extreme...

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Specializes in rehab.

" two brain cells to rub together" !!!LOL :) :) :D

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Specializes in Emergency Medicine.

...you always run into a few Macho Men Nurses in the ED.

... Quite a few that I have worked with were Homophobic also.

The Macho men enjoy pushing the buttons of the already agitated pt. a few notches higher till he escalates and attacks.

I'm guessing from just the second of two back-to-back posts you don't get along very well with your colleagues in the ER.

You certainly have a problem with EMS and male personalities in the ED....

What gives?

Burnout? Maladjustment? or do you just hate everyone around you from Coast to Coast?

Mike, Is someone having a hard time playing well with others?

Whatever you may answer there is no conflict here.

I freely admit that I am a Macho, Gay Homophobe.

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I can't stand working with the macho types, they cause more problems than they ever solved because everything becomes about them and their issues ("Nobody is going to dis-respect me" crap - breaking news, dude, this isn't about YOU). We aren't in this profession to work out our issues.

Wow right to the point!! This whole respect thing... I know many feel that just because they hold a medical/nursing position that they require or demand a higher level of respect than the rest of the working world. Well those days are long past. Respect has been devalued in the world today. But, demanding it will get you nowhere and just make you miserable. You gotta give it to get it at all.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I work in a strictly Peds. ED and we don't have a ton of guys but we don't really have a problem with the "Macho Men" in our ED. On a side note there are at least two female nurses that I can think of that purposely egg on and agitate kids with psych problems and I've had to diffuse tense situations because they don't know how to work with psych patients. Maybe its just me but I am a happily heterosexual man and I will make a complete fool of myself by talking baby talk to an infant patient if that's what I need to do and I'm not too macho to be embarrassed about it. Maybe it's just me but I just don't care who is gay or who is straight or who had issues with coming off as "too sensitive" and trying to overcompensate by being "macho" or whatever. I just want to do my job, mind my own business, take care of my patients in the best way that I can and maybe get an occasional laugh during my shift, that's all I really care about.

!Chris :specs:

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Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
The Macho men enjoy pushing the buttons of the already agitated pt. a few notches higher till he escalates and attacks. For what? Is it worth it? Why push the guy's buttons?

When I was working on a hospital adult mental health unit, our companion geropsych unit had a very agitated patient who was walking rapidly around the circular hallway and frightening residents. The charge nurse asked if I could come over and try to talk to him, since he didn't seem to be responding to their (all-female) staff. I came over and introduced myself to him, and asked if I could walk along with him. He agreed. As we talked he seemed to be gradually deescalating, and I guessed that within probably another ten minutes or so I might be able to talk him into sitting down. I was willing to invest the time, to keep from restraining him. Three male staff who had been called from other units in the meantime (just in case) were gathered around the nurse station. As the patient and I passed by on one of his many laps one of them said "I think we ought to just take him out." That was all it took to instantly undo about 20 minutes of gradual deescalation, and we wound up restraining the man. It was pointless.

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I've never run into male nurses acting "macho" with patients. In fact I would say the majority of male nurses (myself included) are a lot less sensitive to being "disrespected" than many of the women.

As far as being "homophobic" what do you care? That term is so loosely tossed around these days it has no meaning at this point. If you don't openly embrace other people's lifestyles or are not "for" gay marriage you're labeled a homophobe. Most of these "homophobes" have no issues getting along with homosexuals as long as they don't have to hear about what you are doing in your private life. People are going to disagree with you in this lifetime, get used to it. If you keep work interactions professional and personal interactions personal you'll be treated really well by 99% of society.

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Specializes in ER, Psych, Telephone Triage.

Emergency Nurse

In reply to your comments

Hi,

Burnt out hell yeah after 14 years in ED and many years as an EMT and Paramedic in Manhattan. I get along fine with EMS was one for many years just looking at specific incidents and personalities that I have witnessed in the past 35 years that I have been in the health fields.

And as far as relationships with collegues I am well liked and have a good time with my peers but some behaviors of a few of them are horrid! I was a union rep for years representing defending my Nurses

The homophobe comment relates to the alpha male/macho male who is always looking for a reason to fight with someone. If it is a possible Gay patient -he is the one saying if he looks at me again I will punch him or take him down, if it is a drunk "If he mouths off again I will knock his teeth out" I tend to wonder if they were educated in a School of Nursing or Mixed Martial Arts!

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