Macho Men in the ED

There are many different personality types. You might be calm and able to difuse some situations as a result of being calm. Others might be agressive and as such can difuse situations by taking a patient down.

Both are needed in a good ER. I try to avoid working there unless I must and I am the latter. Calm most of the time but agressive when needed.

FWIW, I know women who also egg on agitated patients, with the same predictable results.

[quote=Gr8Dane;3971741]You might be calm and able to difuse some situations as a result of being calm. Others might be agressive and as such can difuse situations by taking a patient down. [quote]

Being aggressive and in-your-face NEVER defuses a situation with an agitated person, it only escalates EVERYTHING. There are times when things are past the stage of de-fusing, and then the only recourse IS 'taking them down', but trying to match or outmatch their aggression with your aggression only makes matters worse.

I can't stand working with the macho types, they cause more problems than they ever solved because everything becomes about them and their issues ("Nobody is going to dis-respect me" crap - breaking news, dude, this isn't about YOU). We aren't in this profession to work out our issues.

That's not to say you tolerate BS or abuse, but talking softly (and HIDING your big stick until or IF it's needed) solves 100 times more problems than simply jumping up into someone's face all "I'm the Juggernaut, B****!" That takes NO brains at all, any thug with two brain cells to rub together can do the same. We're the professionals and as such should be expected to act with a little more finesse. Just as you'd never yell at someone on the ledge of a building 'to jump', you should proceed with a little bit of reason.

Lord save us all from a 'macho man'.

Homophobic Male Nurse I thought homophobe types stereotype male nurses & would steer clear...anyway, the post reminds of a male nurse I came across as a pt - b/c I am a male between 30-45 yo he seemed to go overboard to make sure I don't take his work as being gay that he appeared to overact the regular dude role. It is difficult to clearly describe like instead of acting even slightly compassionate he acted almost like it was a ballgame! Like the way he talked, or when physical contact was necessary...I noticed he was very gallant & caring talking to women, & I'm sure he would be very civil & compasssionate with say elderly men or children...but with say the age group of 20-60 he might be putting on this 'I'm not the sensitive type' show. And, I'm obviously not generalizing (it is an n=1 so obviously statistically meaningless, might be that specific guy's personal issue) but is it possible sometimes the straight male nurse is thinking the pt may stereotype him (or even think he is sending signals) & overcompensate...& in some cases the machismo may be an extreme...

" two brain cells to rub together" !!!LOL

I'm guessing from just the second of two back-to-back posts you don't get along very well with your colleagues in the ER.
You certainly have a problem with EMS and male personalities in the ED....


What gives?
Burnout? Maladjustment? or do you just hate everyone around you from Coast to Coast?

Mike, Is someone having a hard time playing well with others?



Whatever you may answer there is no conflict here.
I freely admit that I am a Macho, Gay Homophobe.

[quote=Anisettes;3971797]
Wow right to the point!! This whole respect thing... I know many feel that just because they hold a medical/nursing position that they require or demand a higher level of respect than the rest of the working world. Well those days are long past. Respect has been devalued in the world today. But, demanding it will get you nowhere and just make you miserable. You gotta give it to get it at all.

I work in a strictly Peds. ED and we don't have a ton of guys but we don't really have a problem with the "Macho Men" in our ED. On a side note there are at least two female nurses that I can think of that purposely egg on and agitate kids with psych problems and I've had to diffuse tense situations because they don't know how to work with psych patients. Maybe its just me but I am a happily heterosexual man and I will make a complete fool of myself by talking baby talk to an infant patient if that's what I need to do and I'm not too macho to be embarrassed about it. Maybe it's just me but I just don't care who is gay or who is straight or who had issues with coming off as "too sensitive" and trying to overcompensate by being "macho" or whatever. I just want to do my job, mind my own business, take care of my patients in the best way that I can and maybe get an occasional laugh during my shift, that's all I really care about.

!Chris

When I was working on a hospital adult mental health unit, our companion geropsych unit had a very agitated patient who was walking rapidly around the circular hallway and frightening residents. The charge nurse asked if I could come over and try to talk to him, since he didn't seem to be responding to their (all-female) staff. I came over and introduced myself to him, and asked if I could walk along with him. He agreed. As we talked he seemed to be gradually deescalating, and I guessed that within probably another ten minutes or so I might be able to talk him into sitting down. I was willing to invest the time, to keep from restraining him. Three male staff who had been called from other units in the meantime (just in case) were gathered around the nurse station. As the patient and I passed by on one of his many laps one of them said "I think we ought to just take him out." That was all it took to instantly undo about 20 minutes of gradual deescalation, and we wound up restraining the man. It was pointless.