Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

  1. I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle


    All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........."

    I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.

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  2. 204 Comments

  3. by   redhd5
    I don't know that this was funny, but it was weird. I had a guy several years ago at the nursing home that came in with staples up and down his arm and hand. The staples went way up past his elbow. He was also in isolation. I was a CNA at the time. I asked him what happened, and he said that he was fishing off the coast of Florida and a big fish came up and bit his arm open. They didn't know what kind of fish it was. He had stretched his arm out over the boat and it just came up out of the water!
    He said he loved to fish, and since he recently retired, that was what he planned on doing!
  4. by   stevierae
    Quote from redhd5
    I don't know that this was funny, but it was weird. I had a guy several years ago at the nursing home that came in with staples up and down his arm and hand. The staples went way up past his elbow. He was also in isolation. I was a CNA at the time. I asked him what happened, and he said that he was fishing off the coast of Florida and a big fish came up and bit his arm open. They didn't know what kind of fish it was. He had stretched his arm out over the boat and it just came up out of the water!
    He said he loved to fish, and since he recently retired, that was what he planned on doing!
    What the hey? What kind of fish have TEETH? Must have been a shark!!!
  5. by   critcarenurse16
    Quote from redhd5
    I don't know that this was funny, but it was weird. I had a guy several years ago at the nursing home that came in with staples up and down his arm and hand. The staples went way up past his elbow. He was also in isolation. I was a CNA at the time. I asked him what happened, and he said that he was fishing off the coast of Florida and a big fish came up and bit his arm open. They didn't know what kind of fish it was. He had stretched his arm out over the boat and it just came up out of the water!
    He said he loved to fish, and since he recently retired, that was what he planned on doing!
    Discharge instructions: Avoid using extremeties as bait, pole, and net
  6. by   gwenith
    without appearing to laugh at the misfortune of others i offer this gem from downunder. a bit of translation a "redback" is the australian term for a black widow spider.


    redback on the toilet seat (1972)


    [font=xerox serif wide,baskerville]ralph ernest 'slim' newton


    [font=xerox serif wide,baskerville]
    there was a redback on the toilet seat, when i was there last night


    i didn't see him in the dark, but boy i felt his bite.
    i jumped high up into the air and when i hit the ground
    that crafty redback spider, wasn't nowhere to be found.




    i rushed into the missus, told her just where i'd been bit
    she grabbed the cut-throat razor blade, and i nearly took a fit.
    i said, "just forget what's on your mind and call the doctor, please,
    'cause i've got a feeling that your cure is worse than the disease."





    chorus:[font=xerox serif wide,baskerville] there was a redback on the toilet seat, when i was there last night


    i didn't see him in the dark, but boy i felt his bite.
    and now i'm here in hospital, a sad and sorry site
    and i curse the redback spider, on the toilet seat last night.



    i can't lie down, i can't sit up and i don't know what to do
    and all the nurses think it's funny, but that's not my point of view.
    i tell you it's embarrassing and that to say the least
    that i'm too sick to eat a bit, while that spider had a feast.


    and when i get back home again, i'll tell you what i'll do
    i'll make that redback suffer, for the pain i'm going through.
    i've had so many needles, that i'm looking like a sieve
    and i promise you that spider, hasn't very long to live.



    Last edit by gwenith on Jun 21, '04
  7. by   Farkinott
    I sat on a brown snake once. I don't know who was more surprised! It shot off in one direction and I went in the other!
  8. by   Jay-Jay
    We had a guy on homecare last Christmas, who was on IV antibiotics and BID dressing changes. He'd caught his penis in his zipper!

    I also nursed a cop who'd cut his hand on a broken mug while doing dishes. He was on 2 different IV abx. Boy, I'll be the guys at the station got a lot of mileage out of that when he went back to work! :chuckle
    Last edit by Jay-Jay on Jun 23, '04
  9. by   teeituptom
    we had a teenage boy and girl come in by ems for getting their braces stuck together.
    Father of the girl came in before the Doc got them unhooked

    The father wasnt amused as we were
  10. by   kids
    I saw this a few years ago while sitting in the ER waiting area. I have no clue why I was there (if you knew my kids you would understand, we've been there a lot).

    Anyway, we ended up striking up a conversation with the lady sitting next to us.
    She was there with her husband who was in back, being treated.
    Apparently, they were having a "heated" discussion while eating Chinese and he bit off the end of his tongue.
    When they were leaving I heard her laugh and said something to the effect of "thats what you get for arguing with me". She chuckled all the way out the door with him saying..."thut up, juth thut up".
  11. by   BBFRN
    A long time ago, I had a teenage male GSW pt who had been shot in the buttocks. What had happened to him was that he was driving on a country road at about dusk, and had to urinate. So, he got out at the side of the road and proceeded to take a leak. Apparently, a hunter had mistaken his shiny white booty as a deer's and accidentally shot him with a rifle. He then drove home, rang the doorbell, and passed out when his parents answered the door. He was quite a prankster, so they though he was playing another trick on them and closed the door- left him out there for a few minutes before they realized he wasn't faking it...lol.
  12. by   Jolie
    I'll add my own injury so you can chuckle at my expense. I went to the local ER just last month with a dislocated knee caused by a collision with my dog. He is a cattle herder, and apparently mistook me for a cow.
  13. by   VivaLasViejas
    I took care of a 72-year-old man once who had accidentally shot out his kneecap while cleaning his .22. He'd had a few beers too many, and for some reason thought it was a good time to clean and oil all the guns in the house. Good thing he never got to the AK-47 that he kept in the hall closet......... :uhoh21:
  14. by   Wolfpax
    Before the universal precautions era, I worked a paramedic unit, when we would do a code in the field our trash would go into a plastic bag, generally ont of the EMT's would be nice enough to bag it for us as we used it, an then we'd toss it in to the rig on the way to the hospital, my medic partner sat on the ambulance bench, on top of the plastic bag with a bicarb bristojet sticking up out of the bag (OK he wasn't sitting long), we were amused...

    Then as an EMT, we responded to a head injury on campus, my crew chief was "muy macho" and the head injury victim was very pretty, he assumed control of the scene and put the vic on the stretcher backwards, we tried to warn him, the stretcher would not fit in the rig and we pulled her back out of the ambulance, Mr. Macho decided to just turn the stretcher around and lift it by himself, in the process, (she was still on the stretcher) he smacked her head into the back of the ambulance door...

    this last one, the injury in itself was not the funny part, the x-ray scene was,
    and Italian woman was making sausage, and her fingers and hand had become stuck in the grinder, she came to the ER and then had to go for x-rays... her anxiety level was up a bit , to say the least, they couldn't communicate with her because she had trouble speaking english, we had to cut her bra off but they weren't getting the point across, finally I said (in an Italian accent and broken english) "I'ma sorry buta we gonna hafa to cutta dis off", and she happily said "OK cutta, cutta"

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