add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts

ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN · Nov 4, 2008

We just started having pt's list their complaints, we were triaging backwards before, registration taking cheif complaint and insurance then seeing triage. I laugh mostly at the spelling so far "Vomintin"

Our pts usually say that they are "vomikin"

hereigoagain · Nov 5, 2008

A friend who works in the BAYOU, sent this to me.I had to pass it along after reading "names"
How do you pronounce this name Le-a?
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes...you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something
come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent". :typing

This is crazy...hahaha...pretty creative, but we don't have the time for such "creativity"...

TennNurse · Nov 5, 2008

We're getting a lot of Le-a's as well. I am amazed by how upset these moms get when the correct pronunciation of the name does not immediately fly off the tongue.

My day began with "Last night I took a bunch of Ex-Lax and gave myself an enema."

"So what brings you in today?"

"I have diarrhea."

bigjim · Nov 5, 2008

A friend who works in the BAYOU, sent this to me.I had to pass it along after reading "names"
How do you pronounce this name Le-a?
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes...you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something
come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent". :typing

Cute, but it's a verbatim cut and paste of a chain email/Snopes.com

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp

Salls25 · Nov 9, 2008

my first week in triage:

Intoxicated and unhygienic patient comes to triage in her pj's, robe, and slippers c/o breast pain. when did it start, I ask. "When we were just in bed (explicits removed) rough, they were swinging all over the place."

patient and her partner stare at me stone-faced and concerned. :uhoh3:

hereigoagain · Nov 9, 2008

Cute, but it's a verbatim cut and paste of a chain email/Snopes.com
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp

If it has been an internet email chain, you better believe it, by now there are a lot of cute Le-a cute babies. Because the spelling is pretty creative. lol

Something unrelated to this thread, I have had the absolute ROUGHEST year of my life as a first year nurse (it is never patients, patient load or doctors, but it is always the few disgruntled nurse co-workers that seem to hate their life, I am sorry if I am offending anyone). When I found your website and read a lot of the stories I felt a little better about everything, so thank you, fellow nurses, I know I am not alone. I took a few decisions in the last few weeks, like going back to school, graduate this time. But I know now that I will survive the rest of the time as a nurse, because I really love doing it. Thank you everyone!!! :redbeathe

OB_RN · Nov 9, 2008

I had a pt come in with "greenish vag discharge" , which was dx as trich. (Of course it was like 3 am and she has had this for several days) Npw the funniest part:

The pt asked me to explain " how she got that" since she and her sig other had been using condoms since they found out she was pregnant!!! I said " isn't that like closing the barn door AFTER the horse has escaped???

I DEFINATELY provided some education on that one.

Knoodsen · Nov 10, 2008

"smotach hurts", CC="constipation" (guy had had diarrhea x 4d), "mosquito bite", "mental", "real sick, need lots of xrays", etc.

Guest219794 · Nov 16, 2008

Nurse: " What brings you to the ER today?"
Pt:" Something going on down there"
Nurse: "Down where?"
Pt: "Down there" Pointing below the counter
Nurse: " Mamam, where down there?" (Pointing for effect)
Pt: " You know down there where I heat hotdogs"
Nurse: "What?"
Pt: " I warm hotdogs for my babydaddy down there and I think one is stuck and stinking"
:barf01:

Nope. I don't believe it.

HH

nursemeow · Nov 18, 2008

"I swallowed a goldfish and now my stomach feels funny":yeah:

LMAO

Gator-ER-RN · Nov 19, 2008

An EMS patient, no less... "My baby's feet don't smell right."

neneRN, BSN, RN · Nov 20, 2008

Had a little old lady yesterday who stated "I stopped breathing for 3 seconds last night"...um, if you are waiting 3 seconds between breaths, you are breathing 20 resps/min...??!?!?