add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts - page 6

Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage...... ...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there... Read More

  1. by   hereigoagain
    Quote from bigjim
    Cute, but it's a verbatim cut and paste of a chain email/Snopes.com


    http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp

    If it has been an internet email chain, you better believe it, by now there are a lot of cute Le-a cute babies. Because the spelling is pretty creative. lol

    Something unrelated to this thread, I have had the absolute ROUGHEST year of my life as a first year nurse (it is never patients, patient load or doctors, but it is always the few disgruntled nurse co-workers that seem to hate their life, I am sorry if I am offending anyone). When I found your website and read a lot of the stories I felt a little better about everything, so thank you, fellow nurses, I know I am not alone. I took a few decisions in the last few weeks, like going back to school, graduate this time. But I know now that I will survive the rest of the time as a nurse, because I really love doing it. Thank you everyone!!!
  2. by   OB_RN
    I had a pt come in with "greenish vag discharge" , which was dx as trich. (Of course it was like 3 am and she has had this for several days) Npw the funniest part:
    The pt asked me to explain " how she got that" since she and her sig other had been using condoms since they found out she was pregnant!!! I said " isn't that like closing the barn door AFTER the horse has escaped???
    I DEFINATELY provided some education on that one.
  3. by   Knoodsen
    "smotach hurts", CC="constipation" (guy had had diarrhea x 4d), "mosquito bite", "mental", "real sick, need lots of xrays", etc.
  4. by   hherrn
    Quote from TraumaNurseRN
    Nurse: " What brings you to the ER today?"
    Pt:" Something going on down there"
    Nurse: "Down where?"
    Pt: "Down there" Pointing below the counter
    Nurse: " Mamam, where down there?" (Pointing for effect)
    Pt: " You know down there where I heat hotdogs"
    Nurse: "What?"
    Pt: " I warm hotdogs for my babydaddy down there and I think one is stuck and stinking"

    Nope. I don't believe it.

    HH
  5. by   nursemeow
    "I swallowed a goldfish and now my stomach feels funny"
    LMAO
  6. by   Gator-ER-RN
    An EMS patient, no less... "My baby's feet don't smell right."
  7. by   neneRN
    Had a little old lady yesterday who stated "I stopped breathing for 3 seconds last night"...um, if you are waiting 3 seconds between breaths, you are breathing 20 resps/min...??!?!?
  8. by   Medic2RN
    Complaint: "Clob Boob"

    I called the patient back and asked him what he wrote. He had no idea.
    "Did you write this?"

    Pt: Yes Maam
    "It looks like you wrote 'clob boob'. Is there something wrong with your boob?"

    Pt: No

    Ummm, okay, so why did you come here today??
  9. by   Mommy_of_3_in_AL..RN
    Quote from TraumaNurseRN
    Nurse: " What brings you to the ER today?"
    Pt:" Something going on down there"
    Nurse: "Down where?"
    Pt: "Down there" Pointing below the counter
    Nurse: " Mamam, where down there?" (Pointing for effect)
    Pt: " You know down there where I heat hotdogs"
    Nurse: "What?"
    Pt: " I warm hotdogs for my babydaddy down there and I think one is stuck and stinking"

    OH MY GOD! I am working an ER rotation, only my second ever, tonight, and this both humors and scares the crap out of me.
    A friend works in an ER a few counties over, and the had a lady come in complaining of a yeast infection a few months back. Come to find out she had rotted strawberries stuck down there. With maggots.....
  10. by   emtb2rn
    pt wrote "boil on bot chick". Triage nurse copied it verbatim. Get some mileage out of it, "so, how's your bot chick feeling? Any pain?"
  11. by   RN2be....
    A ED triage nurse once told me that he brought back a patient with the chief complaint of "chapped lips".
  12. by   Medic2RN
    Complaint: Nothing, I have no problems now.

    Last edit by Medic2RN on Dec 12, '08 : Reason: .
  13. by   NessEDRN
    " i think i caught a seizure"
    me: "who threw it?":wink2:

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