Weirdest thing...

[VampyrSlayer]

What's the weirdest thing a patient has used the call bell to ask you?

Mine happened a couple of days ago. I had just finished changing a resident (completely bed bound, and covered in poo). I am sweating profusely and run to catch a call bell from one of our needier residents.

"Can I have a banana split?"

...I suppose it's not the craziest thing I've heard, but the timing and the randomness threw me. I had to go in the hall to crack up.

Any weird calls?

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

Lol I have y'all beat where I work I have been asked by a resident to give him head and by another one for some of my "Goodies" lmbo but goodies is not the word he used of course.

oh em gee!

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

On a very busy night with short staffing and babies coming out every second, I was in the middle of helping another nurse after delivery when the call lights of another patient went off and the patient screaming for help. I immediately ran towards the room. I was expecting to see the baby hanging out or the patient on the floor. When I got to the room, the patient was very angry because she was ringing the call bell for a long time. I apologized and asked her what she wanted. With a straight face, she asked for a cup of ice for her husband!!!

I wanted to do so many things to her, but I remembered my Nightingale oath. I calmly got her husband a cup and a lots of ice in another big container . On my way out, the patient stopped me and asked me to put the ice in the cup. I did.

I went into the locker room and screamed!! I guess a cup of ice for her husband was more important than anything else.

By the way, I did not get a thank you from the patient or the husband.

oh hell no.

i tell myself when i get back in the field im gonna start telling patients get it yourself im not a maid........... but then reality is gonna kick in and i cant say it because i will lose my job

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

I had a resident actually want ME to clip her pubic hair. With a cheap 2-blade razor. I politely declined and told her she would need a personal trimmer for that.

the hell?!?!?!? oh hells to naw

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

A very sweet old man with dementia would ring at 0430 to ask "honey, are the cows in?" the first time it was weird and funny, but he did it every night! I guess you can't take the farmer away from the farm no matter what, so yes...every morning at 0430 the cows came home.

[VampyrSlayer, CNA]

A very sweet old man with dementia would ring at 0430 to ask "honey, are the cows in?" the first time it was weird and funny, but he did it every night! I guess you can't take the farmer away from the farm no matter what, so yes...every morning at 0430 the cows came home.

I'm confused as to why the cows came home so early in the morning! Shoulda been getting ready for milking at that time

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I'm confused as to why the cows came home so early in the morning! Shoulda been getting ready for milking at that time

Funny! I never thought about that..guess those cows liked to party late!

[Hygiene Queen]

I once answered a call light wherein I found my resident with the end of the call cord shoved up her nose.

She looked up at me and, in great earnest, declared, "My oxygen isn't working."

[ComeTogether, LPN]

On a very busy night with short staffing and babies coming out every second, I was in the middle of helping another nurse after delivery when the call lights of another patient went off and the patient screaming for help. I immediately ran towards the room. I was expecting to see the baby hanging out or the patient on the floor. When I got to the room, the patient was very angry because she was ringing the call bell for a long time. I apologized and asked her what she wanted. With a straight face, she asked for a cup of ice for her husband!!!

I wanted to do so many things to her, but I remembered my Nightingale oath. I calmly got her husband a cup and a lots of ice in another big container . On my way out, the patient stopped me and asked me to put the ice in the cup. I did.

I went into the locker room and screamed!! I guess a cup of ice for her husband was more important than anything else.

By the way, I did not get a thank you from the patient or the husband.

When they do that to me, I direct said husband to the nourishment room. I will go above and beyond for my patients, and I often ask if family wants something to drink when I'm in the room, and I also go get it, but when they ring for a family members soda, I draw the &^%$%*& line!

[ComeTogether, LPN]

Had a guy who was just suuuuch an attention seeker. He was on that light EVERY 5 MINUTES, literally! "Can I have some water?" "This pad under me is wrinkled" "I need tissues for when this one runs out"

THe last time he rang, I found him face down on the floor. I sad "Mr. Jones! What did you do?"

He said "I'm Praying".

He was fine, btw.

[VampyrSlayer, CNA]

I once answered a call light wherein I found my resident with the end of the call cord shoved up her nose.

She looked up at me and, in great earnest, declared, "My oxygen isn't working."

Something similar happened to me the other day. I answered a call bell and found the resident sticking it in his ear. I asked him what he was doing.

"Taking my vitals".

I had just taken his vitals 5 minutes before (we use ear thermometers).

Same resident called me to ask why he couldn't call out on his cell phone...he was using the TV remote.

[hookyarnandblanket]

When I worked LTC, I dreaded state-mandated med holidays for patients on psychotropics. One man in particular was impossible or reorient and redirect when off his meds. One Sunday during his med holiday, he kept asking me when he was going to see his lawyer and get his phone call. I did my best to keep him occupied and I decided, erroneously, to take him into the activity room for Sunday afternoon church. When the sweet old lady who comes in twice a month to do church services came in, he asked me if she was the judge and how was he supposed to make bail. :-)

[valliloves]

Ha ha ha *snort