Rules of the Dr.office

Specialties Ambulatory

Published

There is a very funny " Rules of the ER" thread, so I thought I would start a rules of the Dr.office:

1. Yes the Dr.will be running behind, unless you are the first pt of the day( even then only if you are lucky).

2. You do not need to bring your spouse,kids,parents,friends,and grandchildren to a routine check up. One person is enough.

3. Be on time- or a bit early. Making us wait for you is only going to make the Dr.later( see #1)

4.yes I have " done this (drawing blood, giving a shot, etc) before" and it's not funny when you ask.

5.You are not the only patient in the office, nor do you own the office, ( so please don't take all the candy from the dish, tea/coffee bags, gauze and paper supplies from the room, search through the cupboards,etc)

6. For us CMA's - No I am not a nurse, there are other careers in the health care industry that deserve respect and acknowledgement. ( And no i probably can't get a nurse to do this- phlebotomy, injection,EKG, etc)

7. If you are rude,uncooperative, or abnoxious I will ask the D.r to see other pts first and you will wait longer( again see #1)

These are all I can think os for now. I am sure you all can add others.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in L&D and OB-GYN office.

Thanks for sharing that, it gave me a good laugh!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, Nursery.

love your post, hon! hope i see more "rules" posted here. hehe. ;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

8. If you do not know the names of the meds you are on bring them with you. I do not know which one " the little white one" is.

9. Please don't talk when I have the stethoscope in my ears. It makes you sound like Charlie Browns mother.

10. Yes I know you hate getting weighed.I do too. But, please just get on and we can go on with the day.

11. TURN OFF YOUR @#%$ CELL PHONE.

12. No I can't call in a refill , print a new script, or give you another copy ( because you lost the first one)of you pain pills without asking the doctor just this once. I have a job and I don't plan on loosing it for you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

13. We can not fed ex Viagra samples to your house..

14. The cookies you made are delicious....

15. We can not send a text reminder 30 minuteds prior to your appt..set your own cell phone reminders and yes I agree with # 11 . turn off the cell phone when you enter the office ( I actually wish we had a force field that de activates cell phone in the exam rooms :-)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psychiatric.

16. Please note that if you call up here and threaten to throw me out the window, I won't be thrilled to see you (by the way, we close at 5, my window is small, and I'm a rather husky girl).

17. Having your girlfriend, your son, AND your mom call and demand that we fill the Adderall script which was discontinued, oddly enough, will not result in a filled script, because I know what you were doing with it, and why you were running out early.

18. Please leave your pet snake at home when you come for your appointments.

19. I know that you really think that you are Jesus/God/Barney/whoever, but if you become aggressive, and the cops are summoned, please cooperate...it pains me to see you sent to the unit via cop car when you really have no control over what's going on in your mind.

(I work outpatient county mental health! Lovin' every MINUTE of it!!heehee:D)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

20. No treatment is going to make your 90 year old, met. cancer, catatonic grandmother "get better"

21. Denial is not a river in Egypt.

22. Preventative medicine is the best medicine.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Surg, ER, OR.

23. Read the signs...when it says cover your mouth/wash your hands/wear your mask, it means that you do that for YOURself. And, you (40yo male) decided it would be better to infect the 3mo with the flu and risk them being intubated, than you staying at home and pushing fluids?

24. Oh, have I done the before? NO, but I plan to do it right on you. If I miss your vein, I get 5 more tries.

25. Stupidity is not an excuse for, "Oops, I didn't realize that you could get that from sex."

Not working in an MDs office, but i can only imagine the wonderful stuff you guys get.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, Urgent Care.

Just need to vent today...

Rule: If you're coming to urgent care for an STD exam, LEAVE YOUR INFANTS/TODDLERS AT HOME! We had to tie up our ancillary staff FOUR times today to "watch all of the kids"..on a busy Monday....while the Moms had their pelvic exams. :angryfire

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

26 Don't get mad at me that we do not have an appointment for you at 4:30 on a Friday because you have had symptoms all week and don't want to wait until after the weekend to come in.

27 Don't expect me to call in a narcotic refill for you when you call at 5:00 on a Friday.

28 We give out free samples, we are not a free pharmacy for whenever you run out of meds

29 Turn your cell phone off

30 If you weigh 500 pounds, don't ask me to take your shoes off for you because you can not bend over and reach your feet. Your Keds are really not going to make that much of a difference on the scale

31 No I do not know what that "little white pill" is that you take

32 Does the lady at the grocery store let you take the items home in your cart because you forgot to bring your money? Pay at time of service means PAY at times of service

33 I am not your insurance agent, it is your responsibility to know your benefits

34 please don't call me the mean ol nurse when I give your kid a shot, and don't promise them candy if they don't cry

35 No, I am not going to ask the doctor to call in an ABX for you without being seen just because you "know" what you have

36 If you continue to cuss at me over the phone, I will hang up on you; I refuse to be abused

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SICU, CCU, MCU, peds, physician's office.

37. Do not show up in the office with a sob story about how you can't afford your meds while carring a Chanel purse and wearing Polo jeans. How about don't spend you money on that stuff and buy your meds?!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med/surg, psych, public health.

Please don't show up for YOUR appt. to see the Dr. & expect to bring your

whole !#$% family & friends into the exam room when YOU are being called

to come back to the exam room! WTH?!?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment