There is a very funny " Rules of the ER" thread, so I thought I would start a rules of the Dr.office:
1. Yes the Dr.will be running behind, unless you are the first pt of the day( even then only if you are lucky).
2. You do not need to bring your spouse,kids,parents,friends,and grandchildren to a routine check up. One person is enough.
3. Be on time- or a bit early. Making us wait for you is only going to make the Dr.later( see #1)
4.yes I have " done this (drawing blood, giving a shot, etc) before" and it's not funny when you ask.
5.You are not the only patient in the office, nor do you own the office, ( so please don't take all the candy from the dish, tea/coffee bags, gauze and paper supplies from the room, search through the cupboards,etc)
6. For us CMA's - No I am not a nurse, there are other careers in the health care industry that deserve respect and acknowledgement. ( And no i probably can't get a nurse to do this- phlebotomy, injection,EKG, etc)
7. If you are rude,uncooperative, or abnoxious I will ask the D.r to see other pts first and you will wait longer( again see #1)
These are all I can think os for now. I am sure you all can add others.
My biggest pet peeve. You're on the phone in the waiting area, on the phone being walked back to a room, on the phone in the exam room...and then you want to give me a dirty look when I stare at you, waiting for you to get off the phone, so I can document your symptoms for the MD. Incredible.
LOL! I always just pretend I don't see their phone and start asking questions. They usually get the hint.
Don't call the clinic wanting a refill on your pain meds because your house burned down and your meds were in the bathroom, when you called the clinic down the road yesterday and told them your house burned down and your meds were in the living room!
42. i am sorry, i am not able to give your husband/wife/gf/bf/lover std results due to patient confidentiality. should your husband/wife/gf/bf/lover wish you to have that information, they may come into the clinic to sign a release of information.
isn't the patient the one who signs the release so someone else can see the information?
42. i am sorry, i am not able to give your husband/wife/gf/bf/lover std results due to patient confidentiality. should your husband/wife/gf/bf/lover wish you to have that information, they may come into the clinic to sign a release of information.
isn't the patient the one who signs the release so someone else can see the information?
yes they are. its just written a little confusing there, but yes, the patient is the only one who can direct where their information goes.
I'm not a nurse yet, but I do work in a pain management office that is self-pay...
- No, I cannot/will not change your appointment because your child support check hasn't arrived yet! (Yes, I actually had someone call and ask this. And, no, the appointment wasn't for the kid, but for the parent! We don't even take a patient under 21 years old!!!)
- Our doctor will make his own assessment of your issues, don't just assume that because Dr. XYZ gave you morphine that our doctor will, as a matter of fact, if that's what you want, go back!
- Then there was my favorite phone call I got last year:
Me: (name of office) may I help you?
Pt: I need to make an appointment.
Me: Okay, let me ask you a few questions.
Pt: Alright.
Me: Are you a (state) resident? (We don't take out-of-state patients.)
Pt: Yes
Me: How old are you?
Pt. 19
Me: I'm sorry Miss, we won't be able to treat you.
Pt: Why not?
Me: We don't treat anyone under the age of 21.
Pt: Why the h*ll not? My old doctor did.
Me: Miss, I do apologize, but that is the policy of our office.
Pt: You mean I called long-distance and I don't even get an appointment even though my old doctor treated me?
Me: No Miss, I'm sorry but we can't treat you. But, may I ask why you don't just return to your old doctor?
Pt: I was dismissed.
Me: May I ask why you were dismissed?
Pt: Well, I, umm, got arrested for possession.
Me: Possession of what?
Pt: Cocaine, that's not a big deal, is it?
Me: Miss, thank you for being honest, but there is no way we will be able to treat you. You are too young and already have a record for possession of illegal drugs. Please do not call back.
Pt: B*tch! 'Click!'
Yeah, that was a crazy story to have to repeat to my boss!
WHY is that the very moment you are taken back into an exam room, that is the time you decide you must immediately turn right around LEAVE said exam room to then disappear into the restroom at the opposite end of the hall???
Do you realize, or even care for that matter, that I"M the one who gets the angry glares from the doc when he/she shows up and finds nothing more than an open door to an empty exam room??
When you get on the scale, it is not necessary to remove your flip flops, glasses, watch, and pack of gum from your pocket. You weigh 259 lbs.
And don't ask as your stepping off the scale how much you weighed last time. "Why, yes maam, I memorize the weights of every patient we have in the office." Wait until we are in the exam room and I log into your chart. I will take the time to look back and tell you you weighed 259.2 last month so you can be excited about losing weight.
NurseRoRo
104 Posts
Don't tell your children that if they cry/act out that the nurse is going to give them a shot. It only makes them freak out more.