working on Christmas?

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

The attitude posed by Dorimar is precisely one of the reasons I stopped doing all the holidays. This is not meant to flame her personally, but the post just is a perfect example of what I have put up with for 20+ years.
I was not involved in someone else's choice to have children and go into nursing, so it is not my responsibility to ensure that that person has his/her perfect vision of Christmas.
People without children have friends, lives, and rights. As someone else said, cowboy up and do your share, or get a job where holidays aren't an issue.
As far as nailing down a future date as a "trade" for working Christmas, I tried that. Amazing how "something came up" every time that date rolled around.
Having kids does not make someone entitled to being first in line for day shift, holidays off, and all of the other few perks that come along. :angryfire

My thoughts exactly.

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 21, 2005

The ones "Taking anything from their children" would be those entering nursing in the first place, not their coworkers, whether they have kids or not. What did you think NURSING WAS????

It's not a 9-5 banker's job. Don't enter nursing if you don't want to "take from your kids' holidays", period. Time for some people to GROW UP.

dorimar, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

OK my last post on this thread. i promise. Y'all keep quoting me and leaving out the important stuff. That is NOT fair. I said it does TOO matter if you have kids. I believe that it does. I do NOT believe that I should get every holiday off and those with kids shouldn't. I said I agreed to work CHRISTMAS, THANKSGIVING & NEWYEARS EVE!!! Just wanted Christmas eve off to be home in the morning. I had COMPROMISE all over my posts, and no one quoted that. I also said that before i had children, i volunteered to work Christmas and christmas eve for those that did have children, and will do that again in the future when my son is older, because I think Christmas with your children is important. I HAVE NEVER ASKED A CO-WORKER TO WORK MY SCHEDULED HOLIDAY--EVER in 20 years, but have instead as I said, volunteered to work theirs. My beef is that you can just walk into a job now days and get whatever you want despite those of us that have been plugging away for years putting in our time. In this day and age it seems people go from 1 job to another, collect their sign on bonus, state their demands( & get them) & then leave to the next job and sign on bonus. Most of you must be new to nursing to not have this be a sore point with you. Maybe that's why none of you have commented on my senioritiy point. I don't want you all to work every holiday because i have kids and have been a nurse for 20 years. I just want my 1st choice off only, which is Christmas Eve, because I have been loyal to the SAME PLACE for 7 years, and have done my share and am still doing my share. Holiday schedules suck in our profession. I think it is worse now, because people go into nursing for more material reasons than when i started, so there is a whole different kind of person in the field now. Consequently, i truly believe the profession, as a whole, lacks the compassion and caring that it use to have (for our peers, our patients & their families) Now that's a whole nother can of worms, and I know i pissed some of you off, so i'll excuse myself from this thread now

Bipley · Nov 21, 2005

OK my last post on this thread. i promise. Y'all keep quoting me and leaving out the important stuff. That is NOT fair. ...

In all fairness, it is you that left out something from your original post, it was this:

Here is what i think.... It DOES TOO matter if you have kids. I have been doing this 20 years. When I first got my RN i was only 20 and obviously had no children. I was low man on the totem poll and did whatever they told me. I had no problem working WHATEVER was asked. It WAS hard working CHristmas when you've just left home and want to go back etc. However, I DID put in my time and NOW I have children and all I ask is to be there when they wake up in the morning on CHRISTMAS DAY( i work nights). For those of you that think it's not your problem .... Shame on you.

(Emphasis my own)

I got what you said about compromise, I merely "got" the other stuff too, like how you think it is my problem you want to be home with your kids.

I think it is the part about shame on us that caused the hackles to be raised.

dorimar, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

ok, so not my last post then. I didn't leave it out, I wrote it. I did say "shame on you", because the holiday scheudle IS your problem. maybe "my kids" aren't your problem, but my needs should be. It is what we make it. As i said before, compromise is important. I actually had a nurse aske me if i would work her New Years Eve one year, & I said sure so you want my Thanksgiving? her response was absolutly not. Here is the thing, we all have different needs and wants. Yours aren't any more or less important than mine. I think children are important so i have acted accordingly prior to having them, because i cared about my peers. I have done similar things for my peers without children. I guess i am just dissappointed that the concern for each others' needs is completely gone now. So yeah..... Shame on you.

Bipley · Nov 21, 2005

ok, so not my last post then. I didn't leave it out, I wrote it. I did say "shame on you", because the holiday scheudle IS your problem. It is what we make it. As i said before, compromise is important. I actually had a nurse aske me if i would work her New Years Eve one year, & I said sure so you want my Thanksgiving? her response was absolutly not. Here is the thing, we all have different needs and wants. Yours aren't any more or less important than mine. I think children are important so i have acted accordingly prior to having them, because i cared about my peers. I have done similar things for my peers without children. I guess i am just dissappointed that the concern for each others' needs is completely gone now. So yeah..... Shame on you.

Considering that I have volunteered (and worked) every single Christmas Eve as well as Christmas when working in any hospital, your point is lost on me.

dorimar, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

Well then, Bipley, good for you. However, the underlying theme of this thread seems to be "your problems are none of my concern". That is what my "shame on you " was aimed at.

fergus51 · Nov 21, 2005

Well then, Bipley, good for you. However, the underlying theme of this thread seems to be "your problems are none of my concern". That is what my "shame on you " was aimed at.

Unfortunately I think this comes from the same place that your frustration comes from. You see yourself giving and giving to your employer (by working many holidays and staying at the same unit), then when you want ONE little thing you can't have it. So, you get mad.

It is no different to how I have come to feel about some of my "but I have kids" coworkers. I do the switches for them, I do the holidays for them, I work the weekends for them, I have to wait for them because they are always late (had to drop off the kids), I take on extra responsibilities so they are guaranteed to get out early (have to pick up the kids), I never get vacation in the summer (cause that's when they are going to travel with the kids), etc. Then, when I want ONE little switch from those mothers who I have done so many favors for, they won't do it. They are sometimes shocked I would even ask them to work a shift for me, I mean after all they have kids:rolleyes: . How dare I expect them to help me out when my life is so completely unimportant since I haven't experienced the miracle of birth? Or this year, the first year I actually got Xmas off to spend with my family back home, I get the snide comments from them. I have only been here 2 years, why should I get Xmas and Xmas eve off (nevermind the fact I have worked every single holiday since I started here)? Why exactly should I care about their needs anymore? There comes a point when you have to take responsibility for your own choices in life. I am not responsible for making their lives perfect and they aren't responsible for making my life perfect either. It took me some time to get this. Now I do switches for people who reciprocate and I volunteer to work the holidays I want. I am not going to play martyr for anyone.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Nov 21, 2005

There is no way to make it home by the time my son wakes.

My neighbors had an interesting idea... they allow the opening of ONE present the night before in exchange for the kids waiting until a certain time so both parents are up and ready. The one present is picked by Mom and Dad and is Christmas pajamas so the kids feel special Christmas night, and it makes for some really cute pictures on Christmas morning.

I remember when I was a kid the delaying tactics made things even more exciting for us. We had to wait for a certain time before waking the adults (the time was extensively negotiated the night before). Then we would be allowed downstairs where Dad had to dress...and wash...and shave...then we'd get to have our socks. Between socks and tree presents we had to have a cup of hot chocolate (purely to torture us) while Dad humbugged around and made his tea, and swore Santa had left nothing else and couldn't we all just go back to bed. Finally he would be convinced by us to just go in and turn the tree lights on so we could look for ourselves, and we'd get to do the tree. After the youngest turned five we would each take turns unwrapping a gift while the others watched. The delay, and silliness made the day even more special. I can't imagine doing Christmas without the whole family, even if we had to wait until noontime- it just wasn't done.

If I was you I would fight for a whole-family Christmas even if your son is 1 or 2 years old it is a tradition worth working for. I think that is part of the point of the celebration, building memories of the whole family doing something together.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

OK my last post on this thread. i promise. Y'all keep quoting me and leaving out the important stuff. That is NOT fair. I said it does TOO matter if you have kids. I believe that it does. I do NOT believe that I should get every holiday off and those with kids shouldn't. I said I agreed to work CHRISTMAS, THANKSGIVING & NEWYEARS EVE!!! Just wanted Christmas eve off to be home in the morning. I had COMPROMISE all over my posts, and no one quoted that. I also said that before i had children, i volunteered to work Christmas and christmas eve for those that did have children, and will do that again in the future when my son is older, because I think Christmas with your children is important. I HAVE NEVER ASKED A CO-WORKER TO WORK MY SCHEDULED HOLIDAY--EVER in 20 years, but have instead as I said, volunteered to work theirs. My beef is that you can just walk into a job now days and get whatever you want despite those of us that have been plugging away for years putting in our time. In this day and age it seems people go from 1 job to another, collect their sign on bonus, state their demands( & get them) & then leave to the next job and sign on bonus. Most of you must be new to nursing to not have this be a sore point with you. Maybe that's why none of you have commented on my senioritiy point. I don't want you all to work every holiday because i have kids and have been a nurse for 20 years. I just want my 1st choice off only, which is Christmas Eve, because I have been loyal to the SAME PLACE for 7 years, and have done my share and am still doing my share. Holiday schedules suck in our profession. I think it is worse now, because people go into nursing for more material reasons than when i started, so there is a whole different kind of person in the field now. Consequently, i truly believe the profession, as a whole, lacks the compassion and caring that it use to have (for our peers, our patients & their families) Now that's a whole nother can of worms, and I know i pissed some of you off, so i'll excuse myself from this thread now

No one said kids DON'T matter.

The "shame on you" part of the post doesn't sound very compromising, and quite honestly, there were a few other things that didn't add up to compromise as well. Not to mention "shame on you" sounds like something my mother would have said, and most people don't take to kindly to being 'scolded'.

As for seniority, i saw no need to comment on it, since seniority shouldn't be the determining factor on who gets what. Everyone should have their fair turn on days off. I get both christmas eve and christmas day off this year, but i also worked them LAST year, which is why i have them off this year. That's compromise.

Seniority does not automatically equal entitlement, there are other factors to consider.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

ok, so not my last post then. I didn't leave it out, I wrote it. I did say "shame on you", because the holiday scheudle IS your problem. maybe "my kids" aren't your problem, but my needs should be. It is what we make it. As i said before, compromise is important. I actually had a nurse aske me if i would work her New Years Eve one year, & I said sure so you want my Thanksgiving? her response was absolutly not. Here is the thing, we all have different needs and wants. Yours aren't any more or less important than mine. I think children are important so i have acted accordingly prior to having them, because i cared about my peers. I have done similar things for my peers without children. I guess i am just dissappointed that the concern for each others' needs is completely gone now. So yeah..... Shame on you.

If someone else is wanting certain time off, this is still not my problem. If i'm wanting time off, that is MY problem, for whatever reason, not someone else's.

Ok, if your needs are my problem, then my needs are YOUR problem. And as i write that, it just doesn't make any sense. because the rest of the post doesn't even come close to saying that my needs aren't any less important than mine.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 21, 2005

Here is what i think.... It DOES TOO matter if you have kids.

Yes, it does. I'm very compassionate and understanding of that, which is why when I volunteer to work on Christmas, so that someone with kids can hopefully get off.

My problem is with people who have kids that think it's their God-given right to have off and for those of us who don't have kids have to work. That's not how it is with nursing.

I'm never going to have kids. If I want to be with friends and family, I deserve to have it off as well, especially since I've worked the last ten Christmas's. If I had to defer every year to those with kids, I'd never get off. So when the time comes I want to go home for Christmas, I can't own the fact that someone with kids might have to work that day, and me without kids gets off. As was stated "that's not my problem".