Work bullying? :(

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 28, 2008

Moved to the General forums for more feedback.

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Apr 28, 2008

I'm sorry. I don't know what to say other than talk to your DON...if that doesn't work. Quit! But that's probably what they want you to do. When we show that things bother us, it makes people worse. If you can show it doen'st bother you, maybe they'll lay off.

love_being_an_aide · Apr 29, 2008

I've had the same problem with the nursing supervisor in my hospital ever since she came over from her previous post at our "sister" hospital. She absolutely dislikes the aides, and I can't figure out why. The first night she started she took me aside (while I was in a patient's room helping him to the commode) and told me she knows that the aides put on a show, and to watch myself because if she catches me sitting on my duff, she would report me to my nurse manager! I was in such a state of shock I just stood there and stared at her. But it didn't stop. The other night, one of the aides I work with came into work sick as ever, and because we couldn't find a replacement, she had to work. The charge nurse told her to sit down for a minute because she looked like she was going to pass out, and the supervisor came up and yelled at her for sitting down while the call-lights were on. I got so angry with her (the supervisor) I went to my nurse manager and filed a complaint against her. My NM spoke to the supervisor, and the supervisor came up the other night to apologize to us. I would definitely report them to your nurse manager, and if that doesn't do the job, go to the higher ups, or if you have an ombudsman or social worker at your facility, report it to them. People like this need to be stopped. Good luck ,and keep us posted.

jhamrn · May 9, 2008

Remember that your skills would probably be appreciated more somewhere else. I've had a supervisor in the past who had her favorites. Sometimes she empowered certain staff to become informants (creating a self righteous alliance). This kind of work environment can cause alot of anxiety. Not all work environments are unhealthy. Find a job elsewhere that is healthy and rewarding.

st4wb3rr33sh0rtc4k3 · Jul 6, 2008

I know this is old, but this seems to happen to me everywhere I go.

Is this what nursing is all about? I have only had one job that treated me right in my whole career, of three years. I am sick of getting bullied and having to change jobs.

It is ruining my mental health and I feel I should go to school for something else, because it seems that management or administration doesn't care when you report it. So sad.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 7, 2008

i know this is old, but this seems to happen to me everywhere i go.
is this what nursing is all about? i have only had one job that treated me right in my whole career, of three years. i am sick of getting bullied and having to change jobs.
it is ruining my mental health and i feel i should go to school for something else, because it seems that management or administration doesn't care when you report it. so sad.

if this is happening to you everywhere you go, perhaps you need to stop and take a look at your own behavior. you may be doing something that is contributing to your problems.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 7, 2008

i need help. my supervisors are bullying me at work.i have two. one who isn't really a supervisor but she's only a supervisor when the other supervisor is not there. note that all the other caregivers are older than me. the nursing home i work at is gossipy but the real problem is that my supervisors are gossiping w/ the other caregivers and they talk about me in tagalog even when i'm there. i've gotten in trouble with them because they mixed up my schedule and blamed it on me. one day my second supervisor (the fake one) really got on my nerve. i was sitting in the little waiting room next to the dining room and waiting for my patient to finish eating so she comes up to me and says "can you check on your patient once in a while?" she doesn't need to tell me that because i know what i'm doing and i do check on my patient. after that i passed by the little waiting room and grabbed the newspaper and just walked off. i was so mad. after i got my patient back to the room she comes here and says "can i talk to you"? and i replied "no." i didn't want to talk to her so i went out of the room while she was trying to talk to me. she almost yelled. so now we're standing in the hall and she's talking and i'm just ignoring her,then she says "you should be thankful i gave you work with (patient)." i wasn't listening and she was still making me mad and i went back to my patient's room.

recently i had a patient died so they said:
supervisor #1:your patient wouldn't have died if you had taken better care of him.
supervisor #2:make sure you take care of (patient) so that we'll have a job.

this particular patient was already ready to die and i've felt nothing but guilt ever since he passed on. what's worse is that because of what my supervisors said they've made me feel worse than ever.

the funny thing is that my supervisors did this to another co-worker(before i started working there). she always sticks up for me when we're both there working and she's the only person i really talk to. i don't like to talk to her because she's two-faced like the other supervisors and tells everybody her business. plus she's nosy. >_> she doesn't like both of my supervisors but she talks to the fake supervisor just because she's trying to be polite and respectful. >_> i don't really like her.

anyway.......

i'm afraid to say something to them not only because they're my elders (don't take that literally) but they're also my supervisors and i'd rather not risk losing my job. i don't know what i did wrong but i work and push myself so hard just so that i can maintain my job. i didn't go there to have people talk about me and bully me. i really don't talk to anyone so that i can get my work done and go home.

i've looked up signs of bullying on the internet and all signs point to it. i'm planning on talking to my bosses about this. other than that,what should i do? i think i have problem with authority figure.i'm not sure. i just need some advice and anything that anyone has to say i really appreciate it. i'm going to talk to my bosses soon because i'm not going to put up with this anymore.

thanks.
-hybridatomsk

(sorry if i rambled,i just wrote this at the top of my head)

from what you write, you're having problems with everyone at work. you had one of your supervisors try to talk to you, and you admit that you not only told her "no" when she asked to talk to you, but that you ignored her while she was trying to talk to you. you don't like the only person who sticks up for you, and but she's the only person you'll talk to.

and you complain that you're being bullied?

i don't understand how you are the one being bullied.

if your patient was "ready to die," why is it that you're feeling "nothing but guilt since he passed on."? could it possibly be that you think those supervisors might have had a point about you taking better care of your patients? if you won't take direction or feedback, and ignore your supervisors while they're trying to talk to you, i'm amazed that you still have a job.

i'm so sorry that there is "work bullying" going on, but i think you need to take a long, hard look at who is doing it. it just might be you. at the very least, your attitude needs a bit of an adjustment.

2shihtzus · Jul 7, 2008

Ruby...that was cold.

To the OP....you can either stand up for yourself or move on. Believe me, I understand how you feel! *hugs* Whatever you do, dont act like an opressed victim because it will just fuel the fire. Show up at your job with a good attitude (which is hard when you are working with people who make you miserable).

The best advice I can give is to hold your head up, do your job, and let the comments slide. And I think the comment about the patient that died being your fault was totally uncalled for. Next time one of the supervisors asks if they can talk to you, its totally within your rights to say no (although ill advised, IMO). You can easily ask to meet at another time. Had it been me, I would have said, "Actully, I need to talk to YOU."

allnurses Guide · Jul 7, 2008

I think if you really feel that you are being singled out and bullied you need to document, keep records of dates, times and incidents.

I actually think that Ruby did make some valid points and I think that a little self reflection never does any harm so it may be that you could look at if there is something that maybe you can do to improve things.

Also as a manager if any of my staff had refused to talk to me when I ask them for a word, I would send them home and informally discipline them for insubordination, if they do it again I would take it to a formal disciplinary matter, like it or not they are in charge of you. If you don't feel able to talk to them at the time say, I am really upset at the moment can I get back to you in a little while please.

If you are being victimised tread very carefully doing things like this because it is giving your supervisors ammunition, you can bet they have documented dates and times, you need to do the same to be able to defend your actions.

st4wb3rr33sh0rtc4k3 · Jul 10, 2008

if this is happening to you everywhere you go, perhaps you need to stop and take a look at your own behavior. you may be doing something that is contributing to your problems.

nice...

i don't think so.

i won't say anything, because i don't judge people from their posts.

st4wb3rr33sh0rtc4k3 · Jul 10, 2008

Anyhow, this can also be known as a Hostile Work Environment, it can also be Harassment and Sexual Harassment. There is no need for bullying no one deserves it PERIOD.

The best thing to do is like the others who made good suggestions, is to tell the manager. If that doesn't work go to the next person. Keep going. Getting no where, go to HR. Definately document it (times, dates, places, persons, etc). If HR doesn't help, keep going. Still nothing, get an attorney. I know from experience apparently and it went in my favor.

Don't tell coworkers about it. You might get the same responce Ruby posted. Just goes to show that not everyone will be on your side. I am not in the same situation as you, but I have been there, for no reason. I am professional and won't tolerate being treated like dirt.

I would look up information and see what you find on Workplace Bullying. Companies have to pay big bucks for blaming, ignoring, and letting that behavior go on in there organizations. Here is a link to get you started.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_bullying