Witnessed my first death

Nursing Students General Students

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Specializes in Pediatric CVICU.

So...I was at my job today as a tech when I witnessed my first death. Myself and another tech were in a patient's room to complete their wound care. I was holding them on their side while she took care of the dressing. My friend suddenly told me that the patient was having a bowel movement and I told her that wasn't possible because they had a colostomy. So we called for a nurse and were told that she was about to go downstairs and would be back in a minute! We were a bit outraged and said that they needed to send any nurse then. About that time I looked down and hoped and prayed that my eyes were lying to me because it didn't appear that she was breathing. So we rolled the patient supine to check when the nurse walked in took one look at the patient and said that they were gone. (the patient was DNR). She and respiratory then double checked all their vitals. I held together while in the room but after stepping out I broke down. Everyone else just acted like it was no big deal which I know that they have probably gotten more accustomed to this than I have but this was the other tech's first death as well. I don't know if I took it this way because it was my first death to actually witness or because I recently lost a grandparent. I did manage to get myself together to help with the postmortem care and stay for the remainder of my shift (it happened early in the shift). Has anyone else had a similar experience?

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Specializes in LTC, case mgmt, agency.

Being a witness to this is always hard. I usually "hold it together" till I'm in the car driving home. I always am sad at the loss of a life. You're emotions regarding this event are 100% normal. No one should pass any judgement or make fun of your feelings. It shows that you are a kind and compassionate person and a true asset to your profession. :yeah: I'd be more worried if you just said " Oh well "! :crying2: Keep up the good work. If you need time to " pull yourself together ", your co-workers should be understanding. It's part of nursing, compassion for the patient and others.:p

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Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

One of the things we used to not like to do with patients that we knew were very near to death was move them too much, especially turn them. They often pass away during the moving.

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Specializes in Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis.
One of the things we used to not like to do with patients that we knew were very near to death was move them too much, especially turn them. They often pass away during the moving.

That is very interesting -- never heard of that before.

Adult deaths are not as bothersome to me as others. It is still tragic but I deal with death fairly well. However, when I witnessed my first pediatric death (7 year old girl brought in with septic shock) and the team tried CPR for over an hour... that was horrific to witness. The hardest part was having the family in the room while their daughter was pronounced. I broke down in the unit after that but I was not at all embarassed.

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

The first death is always the hardest....what you do is grieve a little, take care of the patient, and move on...

You try to hardly move, give extra mouthcare, do whatever you can for comfort.

It does get "easier", but never stop caring.

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Since I'm just entering nursing school in August, I haven't seen a death in a professional setting (obviously). But I was with both my parents and my brother when they died, so I hope that experience will make it a little easier to deal with my first death as a nurse when it comes. I feel for you!

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Specializes in Pediatric CVICU.

One of the problems with my job is that I provide care for the whole floor not a particular set of patients. Because of this I don't receive report on the patients because we have more than 40 beds on my floor. So I did not know that this patient was going down hill and expected to pass away (their family was even on the way from out of town). Had I been told this I would not have agreed to do their wound care right after their bath (I was not involved in the bath and walked in on the end of it and asked to go ahead and take care of the wound). It was probably too much too handle for the patient. But hindsight is 20/20.

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Specializes in OR-ortho, neuro, trauma.

The first is always hard. It will get "easier" in regards to having control over your emotions but you will always care.

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