Will it ever get better?

Peggyd · Oct 9, 2003

I don't think that it is uncommon to feel like that. I worked 3-11 and I used to wake up in the middle of the noc thinking of something I forgot or that I didn't tell someone, something in report. I would call and they would tell me , "go back to bed, it's ok". If you really did miss something or did something wrong, they would let you know.

I think we all just learn to live with that feeling. You have to tell yourself, when that feeling hits, "This isn't my total life". When your new baby comes your job won't seem as big of a priority. At home try to find time for yourself and for your husbusnd. Have fun and try and forget work when you are not there. I know that sounds hard but it will get easier with practice.

RN-PA, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Amy, one of my first thoughts was what Peggy said: Once you have your baby, you'll definitely be focused less on your job. :) By that time, hopefully you can learn to trust yourself better. I was the same way for a long time-- second-guessing and doubting myself. I think it's the way some of us are wired-- probably perfectionistic and a tad obsessive like I am. I'd suggest talking to the nurses who follow you (in the next shift) and your manager, and ask them for honest feedback. If they say you're doing fine, please believe them and don't torture yourself. As I've said, I've been there and when I asked a couple of nurses on 11-7 who followed me if they had any complaints or problems, I felt better knowing if there WAS something I could improve on or, even better, that they actually LIKED to follow me, I rested easier and became more confident. As Peggy also said, "If you really did miss something or did something wrong, they would let you know."

I would also like to suggest that if the anxiety continues to plague you, please consider getting some counseling and/or medication to help take the edge off. I've done both. I took Paxil for a year and 1/2 because my anxiety about work wasn't getting better. I had counseling in my 2nd year of nursing school and I'm off the Paxil, and still struggle to some degree with anxiety each day I go to work. I feel for you and I don't want you to be even more stressed out after the baby comes. (Congratulations, by the way!)

Genista, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

I think we've all been there. I know I have. When it's really busy I sometimes get this vague "I forgot something" feeling, even if I didn't.

Nursing is a 24 hour a day job. So, when your shift ends, the next shift will take over & they will be watching after your patients. If there is anything that you forgot, the next shift will deal with it (they will call you if they need your help).

I have a a checklist system on my "brains" that I carry around that helps calm my nerves at the end of the shift. I check off all meds, charting & anything else that I need to do as I go. On those crazy nights where it feels like I left something undone, I remind myself as I drive home after work that I already checked it off on my list. You have to learn to do your best, and let the rest go.

As I said, we all have felt that feeling at one time or another. You may be worrying extra at work because you have many things going on in your private life, such as a new baby & new parenting roles, etc.

Congratulations on your pending arrival ! Hope you enjoy your new baby!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Sometimes when I have a horrific night and things are bad it's hard to let go. But on a day to day basis, I've had to learn to leave work at work. Same way I leave my personal life at the door when I walk into the hospital.

Give it your all. When you leave work, use some guided imagagy and imagine you leaving all that stress behind, in the capable hands of your coworkers.

Of course, there will always be those times when you get back to work and what you did the day before will haunt you, but not sense in worrrying about when you aren't there.

Work shouldn't be your entire life. Don't waste precious energy away from work worrying about. I think what was said above, soon you're not going to have that kind of energy anyway.

Good luck.

ainz · Oct 9, 2003

Sounds like you are a caring nurse and concerned about your patients and your work. That's great, but, as everyone else has said in their own way, balance it my dear.

ANYTHING can consume your life to the point of toxicity. Too much of anything is harmful, same with nursing.

I like what 3rd shift guy said (I ike most of everything he says), leave the work at work, live your life, ALL of it, not just the hospital.

I agree with the others, we have all been there and some of us still drift back into it at times.

ainz · Oct 9, 2003

Oh yeah, and the most important thing---an answer to your question, "Will it ever get better?"

ABSOLUTELY YES IT DOES AND IT WILL!!!!!!:)

Mimi2RN, ASN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

As I leave, I sometimes say "if I've forgotten anything, I'm back tonight".

Some nights are like that. And if you do remember something, it's ok to call, but try not to stress about it. Counseling is a good idea, to vent to someone outside the system, If they think you need meds (after the baby), thats ok, too.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 9, 2003

Yes it will

but your perspective of your career and life will forever change once Baby enters the picture. Do not be afraid to respect that and plan around that. Career is no longet number one when a baby is here.

You are doing the best you can in your situation. Do NOT beat yourself up over bad days/shifts. Take it easy on yourself and take care of your HEALTH first!!!!

It will get better. It always does. Remember that and be kind to yourself. In a few months, you will be busy caring for that special someone and time to pamper yourself will be short. Hang in there.

olympiad27 · Oct 10, 2003

Amy , you are not alone. What you are feeling is very familiar to almost every nurse. For the most part we all went into this because we genuinely care and want to do the best for our patients. Those who do care fight an uphill battle to deliver that care with rapidly increasing cutbacks in resources, fewer nurses , more responsibility and very little in the way of recognition or reward from our employer or society.

amyBSN · Oct 10, 2003

Thank you all for your advice and comments. I do get good feedback from my co-workers and my manager and I do think in a way that puts more stress on me because I feel that if I were to forget something or make a mistake they would change their opinion of me. I am looked upon as a resource and I feel that I have such a high standard to maintain. I am proud to be a nurse and I know I give the best care I can, but I just cannot leave work at work. I do think however that I am going to change once the baby arrives, (but that is 6 months away) and I am only coming back part-time, it just really frustrates me to see these new-grads come in and they are so calm and laid back, I guess it is just my personality. Thanks again all, amy

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 10, 2003

Everyone is different Amy. Don't compare yourself to the new grads or anyone else. Your standards are high --keep them that way as long as they don't compromise your health or are unrealistic. Be good to yourself. You are number one.