My wife has a BSN, no longer nursing, she doesn't want to be in nursing, fine. But she refuses to look at other areas that she could use her degree in and she has 0% drive to find better employment, I think that she has no self confidence or something. She worked as a checker at Safeway for years and now upon our move to TN she applied and is going to work at Mcdonalds for $7 an hour.
I start LPN school on tuesday and am retired military and I work pt as a PCT at a local hospital. I make over $11 an hour with night diff, etc. That with my retirement is what we are living on. Meanwhile, my wife of 21 years thinks that Cable is a necessity, etc.
I'm so tired of having to try work and go to school, while my wife would rather work for $7 an hour instead of putting out some effort to find a decent paying job.
Ugh.
Tony in TN
Oh almost forgot, any ideas on what she could do with a BSN, no active license and can do attitude?? I'm thinking work at Mcdonalds :-)
Tony: all I can say is been there, done that, burned the t-shirt. :) My tale is somewhat similar ...
My (now-ex)husband had a BA in English and had worked as a proofreader/editor for a few years after we were together, but decided he no longer wanted to even look for work once he was fired from a couple of jobs for "behavioral issues." I ended up having to sell my home and buy a less expensive home 50 miles from where I worked and went to school to get us out of debt and into a mortgage that I knew I could afford on my own, because I couldn't count on him for anything. At the same time that I was working 50+ hours/week at my day job, I was also putting myself through paramedic school, and I nearly had to drop out because I was going to have to get a second job to make ends meet while he sat on his behind at home and played world of warcraft or whatever was the hot online game at the time. (That was the point where I had to sell my house. I loved that house, too, darn it.)
Then he became obsessed with a friend of mine, and started stalking her online. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. It was so emotionally devastating for me. I paid for his therapy, and tried to hold the marriage together ... in the end, I sent him home to mama on a Greyhound bus. Every one of our friends applauded this move and told me they didn't know how I'd stood it for so long. I had no idea they even knew my secret shame.
I remember how terribly miserable I was while all this was going on ... it was a wonder that I finished paramedic school -- magna cum laude, even. LOL. I'm sure that school was an escape for me, and perhaps it is for you as well. I was just floored that I was struggling to get an AA degree and working at my day job to keep us afloat, while Mr. Wonderful and his BA sat on his behind at home. Oh, how I resented him for it ... the education, wasted too. And he knew it, but his own issues/psychosis/whatever rendered him powerless to function. Sadly enough, I don't think he's changed to this day.
I truly hope you find your way to a happier place. I did, and I am forever grateful for it. Best of luck to you.
I think if you stay together for the sake of the kids, then you owe them at least some counseling. Otherwise you aren't doing them any favors. So she has worked part time, did she take care of the kids and the house while you traveled? Was she basically a single parent during that time of your life? How old are your kids now? If that is the case, I don't think it is fair to characterize those years as ones tha "you took care of her." That minimizes her contributions. Could you be doing that? What were your expectations during your relationship during those times. Did she meet them? Also, there are those with Bachelor degrees that took the "mommy track" and find that when they go back to work it doesn't meant that much. It could be that for the type of jobs you are envisioning for her, she would need some updating to her resume and education. I realize that it may be comforting to get replies that agree with you, I don't know the whole truth of your history (there are always two sides, right?) But there always is value in considering opposing viewpoints. It could be that you yet have something to learn, that will help you cope with this situation however it turns out. Best of luck to you and your wife.
Lunah, MSN, RN
14 Articles; 13,773 Posts
Tony: all I can say is been there, done that, burned the t-shirt. :) My tale is somewhat similar ...
My (now-ex)husband had a BA in English and had worked as a proofreader/editor for a few years after we were together, but decided he no longer wanted to even look for work once he was fired from a couple of jobs for "behavioral issues." I ended up having to sell my home and buy a less expensive home 50 miles from where I worked and went to school to get us out of debt and into a mortgage that I knew I could afford on my own, because I couldn't count on him for anything. At the same time that I was working 50+ hours/week at my day job, I was also putting myself through paramedic school, and I nearly had to drop out because I was going to have to get a second job to make ends meet while he sat on his behind at home and played world of warcraft or whatever was the hot online game at the time. (That was the point where I had to sell my house.
I loved that house, too, darn it.)
Then he became obsessed with a friend of mine, and started stalking her online. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. It was so emotionally devastating for me. I paid for his therapy, and tried to hold the marriage together ... in the end, I sent him home to mama on a Greyhound bus. Every one of our friends applauded this move and told me they didn't know how I'd stood it for so long. I had no idea they even knew my secret shame.
I remember how terribly miserable I was while all this was going on ... it was a wonder that I finished paramedic school -- magna cum laude, even. LOL. I'm sure that school was an escape for me, and perhaps it is for you as well. I was just floored that I was struggling to get an AA degree and working at my day job to keep us afloat, while Mr. Wonderful and his BA sat on his behind at home. Oh, how I resented him for it ... the education, wasted too. And he knew it, but his own issues/psychosis/whatever rendered him powerless to function. Sadly enough, I don't think he's changed to this day.
I truly hope you find your way to a happier place. I did, and I am forever grateful for it. Best of luck to you.