Why can't we treat eachother like adults???

[jessnurse05]

I'm not trying to generalize about nurses, just about the nurses in my facility on my shift.

I had a great night last night, by 0100 I was completely caught up and had done my chart checks and all of my charting on my pts (it doesn't happen often, but isn't it great when it does?). So I was reading H&Ps and going through the computer updating care plans and things on my pts and the charge nurse comes over and asks me how I organize my shift. Now I had no idea why she needed to know that, I'm fairly new, but I've been on that floor for almost 5 months so I know what's expected of me. So I started showing her my brain sheet, she says no, what are the two priorities of the night shift. So I tried really hard not to roll my eyes (I've gotten this lecture from her before and I didn't enjoy it then either) and I told her it was chart checks and MAR checks. Well so she still felt that she needs to lecture me about how these things are the number 1 priority and needed to be done. Then she asked me when I do my chart checks and I told her they were already done. She still made some kind of comment like Okaaaaaayy then. Like she had to have the last word about being right.

Now I don't really want to make a big deal about this, but why couldn't she have just simply said "jesssko, have you done your chart checks yet?" That would have saved a lot of time and I wouldn't have had to get a lecture that I didn't need. I'm probably the youngest nurse on the floor on days or nights, so I already feel sort of like the baby, but when people talk down to me it just makes me feel so insignificant.

It's really this charge nurse, not me. She does this to everyone. I wanted to scream at her earlier in the shift when she was belittling another nurse about adding a duplicate intervention to a care plan. Now, yes, it's annoying to have duplicates on our care plans, but the charge acted like it was the end of the world. She also kind of beats around the bush about things like that, instead of just saying, "nurseX, you added a duplicate intervention to the care plan, can I show you how to avoid it in the future" she goes and says "nurse X, you did this WRONG, you should not add duplicate interventions, let me show you that you added it just a second ago when soandso added it at this time, etc, etc...." She also calls everyone honey, but in a way that you would call a 1 year old honey. It makes me so paranoid, I double and triple check everything because I don't want to get another lecture.:chair: I also wonder what she's doing looking at that pts care plan to find a mistake like that seconds after the nurse added it.

We learn ways to respectfully communicate with doctors, why can't we treat each other the same way? Thanks for letting me vent!

Jessica

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

Beats me, I have the same problem with a coworker who's young enough to be my granddaughter. Yes, I agree that it's annoying.

I try to stay away from the desk when she's in "that" mood. I always want to remind her that I don't have to be reminded to do my work. A couple of times, I've had to find something to do down the hall because if I didn't, some sarcastic remark like, ohmygod, you're RIGHT! HowEVER do I manage on the four nights a week that you're off and I'm here without you?

Anyhow, go find a patient to talk to. There's always someone awake on night shift. They'll treat you like an adult who actually has some knowledge and can allay some of their fears. If you can't find that, there's always the burning issue of all the crud on patient nightstands to clear up....

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

We shouldn't have to learn how to respectfully talk to one another. That's Life 101.

If it really bothers you, then you have to confront, but in a productive way, not a confrontational way. "I know it's probably a term of endearment, and you mean nothing by it, but I would appreciate it if you don't call me "hon".

"Just now the way you talked to me, made me feel belittled, did you mean to talk to me that way? You could have simply asked me if I had done my chart checks? Sometimes you beat around the bush instead of just asking."

Do so each and every time she bothers you.

Don't be afraid to tell her how she makes you feel. But do so in a way that doesn't insult her personally, but talks about her actions and words. If I'm making sense.

It sounds like she's accomplished her probably unconscious goal of making you afriad of her, afriad to confront her, as evidenced by your double and triple checking everything just to avoid her. Some people have personalities you just aren't going to change, but in her position she has an obligation to treat people professionally. Deal with it yourself first. Good luck!

[evbella]

Unfotunately, there are just people in the world that are power hungry. They seem to enjoy looking over your shoulder to try and find you doing something wrong- they thrive on it.

I am not a nurse yet, but did work in an office for 10 years. So trust me when I tell you that the big headedness as well as caddiness is everywhere.

Too bad that some just have not grown up and out of thier bully stages yet.

What goes around comes around. I guess we should pity them really. Thier own lives are so bad that they need to belittle others to make themselves feel better.

Carol

[chadash]

Oh, tell me about it! I can't tell you the number of times I have been approached with that "I know you are a complete idiot with no clue whatsoever of what you are doing so I am going to talk to you like you are a six year old even though you are old enough to be my mother/grandmother" attitude. Then, they ask questions instead of coming right out with the point, not a good approach with a complete idiot. Tell me, for pete sakes! I WANT to do it right! It is more of scolding than instruction. So, is the goal to make sure things are done, and done right, or is the goal to put someone down personally.

Oh well.

[SouthernLPN2RN, MSN, RN, APRN, NP]

I have a nurse who does that to me. The last night that I worked with her (I think it was last week), she made a point of talking down to me, overcorrecting a mistake I made out in the hall and generally just being a smart aleck. I prayed about it when I went on my break and I had planned to confront her as soon as I got back. I ended up not needing to. She came thisclose to making a very significant med error, but I recognized what was about to happen and stopped it. Needless to say, the rest of the night went well.

[ICRN2008, BSN, RN]

I had a supervisor in the lab who acted like this. She made a big deal of calling people over to her desk every time they made a little mistake and giving them a lecture about it. I learned not to show any reaction, I just kind of nodded and then went back to my work. She enjoyed getting a rise out of people and making them feel incompetent, and I refused to give her that satisfaction. I think that new grads are especially easy targets for this type of behavior because we often don't show enough confidence in our abilities. (It's kind of like the bully picking on the weakest kid on the playground).

If it continues to be a problem, you may need to pull her aside and politely tell her exactly what you want from her: "Jane, I would like for you to be more direct with me in the future when you have a problem with my work."

[Antikigirl, ASN, RN]

LOL, make a checks list to your brain list that has those two items in it...the next time she brings it up show the brain list with those two items checkmarked done! That shows organization and completion .