Why do I feel so sad: f.u. to my post!

live4today, RN · Oct 8, 2003

:balloons: ((((((Jackie)))))) I'm just going to lay this on the line for you. Once you make a decision to move on from one place in your life to another, you've got to determine yourself to "let go" and live through the moment. Being sad about a "loss" that was not a good fit for you is a waste of energy dear one. Instead of being sad over the losses in your life, be happy and share the joy with your family of all that you now gained in its place. Let's take a look at that list as I remember it:

1) You can now sleep with your husband every night, cuddle with him, whatever makes the two of you feel totally connected again.

2) You'll be more rested for the hubby and the kids, and also have time to schedule in some "quiet time" for yourself.

3) You now have the option of choosing which days you will work on a per diem basis as an OB nurse instead of dreading the every night ritual and coming home drained and unhappy.

Now, why don't you keep this list of blessings, and continue to add to it those things that will brighten your family life by this move you've made. You are worth the move you just made. Now get on with enjoying the change and create your own schedule of how you intend to enjoy the change with yourself and your loved ones. :kiss

sympathoadrenal · Oct 8, 2003

Yes, I think it is normal to feel sad. Making change takes courage. I am a new grad and recently made a big change at work. Even though I knew the change was better for me, I first felt like I was a failure. I was really scared. Many ??? in my head drove me nuts. "Would people be nice there?" "Is the unit good for me?" "What if I didn't like the unit?" On and on. Fortunately, it turned out to be a smooth transition. I like people there and found myself very comfortable there.

Take your time to get used to the change and let go of your past. You can better take care of your health and everything else with your new job, yeah? Good luck on your new path!

EastCoast · Oct 8, 2003

ditto to all of the above.

i left a job and during my resignation period was overjoyed and apprehensive and sad too. I did not 'transition' well. Similar to you i was going from a very clinical based position and working with a large group of contemporary's to an office/administrative position in health care outside of the hospital. I wore my attitude and my fear (Dear god...i've never worked outside of a hospital)on my sleeve and it was evident. I went from being a great team player to being difficult. I am ashamed at the chip on had on my shoulder and within several months my boss and i were parting company. Retrospectively, I was a dope and should have had the maturity to realize that tho i 'missed' my comfortable predictable spot I was entering a world that wasn't too bad.

Don't burn bridges and don't go into this new job comparing it to your old one. You will set yourself up to be unhappy.

Enjoy........NO MORE NIGHTS !!! and oh gosh...it's automatically your 'holiday off' every single holiday. yahoo.

you'll do fine. good luck.

Brownms46 · Oct 9, 2003

A change of jobs has been put in the same category as a love one dying, a divorce, and especially more so for you probably because you love the work, just not when you do it. This is the process that some acribe to:

The Four Steps of Change 1.Denial

You knew you needed to make a change, but you were in denial that this is what you needed, even though the evidence of the toll nites was having on you.

2.Resistance

An opportunity was presented to you, but you resisted in making the decision to make the change it seems you needed. The sadness you may feel has to do with not being able to effect the change you needed within the job you now have.

3.Exploration

You're offering to work per diem is the exploration in this stage....IMO. You want to get out of you're current situation, but the resistance you have to this change is what is causing the exploration. You feel there has to be another way for you to do what you love, but not work the night shift. You look for ways to continue doing what you love, but meet your need for change.

And the final stage:

4.Commitment

Here is where you give up the thought of making the previous job work, and make a commitment to making the new one work. This is when you decide you can't change the conditions of your previous employment, but you can change your thinking, and realize that the new job is the only thing that makes sense right for you.

How's that for Psych 101 :chuckle

I'm in a kind of similar situation, and about to make a change myself, and I couldn't figure out somethings. I couldn't figure out why a person who has LIVED on change, suddenly resisted making a very neccessary change now. It bothered me to the point I couldn't sleep. And then I realized something...I hadn't let myself think of before.

Sometimes we resist change, because sometimes changing from thing to another is looked at as failure. And nobody likes to fail at anything. But sometimes failure isf the mother of invention, and must be endured to spur us to do something about a situation, that we would rather not have to deal with. JMO here:).

sjoe · Oct 9, 2003

Well, you know the old story. If you keep looking back you'll turn into a pillar of salt. Letting go usually has an element of loss in it, moving on leaves the loss behind.

Burnt Out, ASN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

I have felt that sadness...oddly enough in a similar situation as yours.

After working on a med-surg floor for 2 years, I finally accepted an 11-7 job in L&D/Postpartum/Nursery-I was very excited; I had always wanted to do L&D/Nursery. Well nights took their toll on me and it was apparant that it was going to be a long time before I ever got a 7-3 position there. I ended up going back to my previous hospital to work 7a-7p on pulmonary. I miss all my co-workers (I still see them from time to time), but we have to do what is best for us sometimes (like being with our spouse, kids, being able to sleep like a normal person-no offense to you night folks;) ).

Sorry to ramble..

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Good luck. Hope things work out for you. Seems normal to be a little sad at leaving since you did like your job.

ainz · Oct 9, 2003

Some good posts on this thread. I once worked in an ICU on straight nights. I could not get used to the hours in spite of doing it for 2 years. I took a day job that was much better as far as pay, hours, and the nature of the work. I missed the ICU, we had a great team and I made some very good friends, in fact, it is one of the best nursing teams I was ever a part of.

I left that job and worked at my other one for about a year. Finally I went back because I missed it and my co-workers there so badly. To my surprise it just wasn't the same when I went back. It's like what cheerful said, and others, you have to move on.

Hanging on by thinking you will stay per diem is prolonging the initial agony of letting go. If I recall correctly, you have taken a management position. You will need to be focused on that 100%.

I suggest letting go completely, give it up including the per diem idea. I have seen that many times and it usually doesn't work out. Move on, cherish the memories and make some new ones. Good luck with it and yes, it is sad but OK.