Why do i hear that nurses are mean???

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Hi I'm soon going to be volunteering at a hospital soon and eventually become a CNA soon after that. I often wonder why are nurses mean?? Of course I'm not referring to all nurses but I hear and read stories that some Nurses are mean, I don't understand how someone chooses to be in a profession that is about helping patients and yet the nurse is lacking compassion. Are they just in it for the money? I'm just confused.

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being "mean" is relative to who thinks someone else is being mean. some people are hyper-sensitive and a sneeze hurts their feelings. with that said, nurses are people and nursing is just a job, so there's going to be mean nurses.

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I've worked many jobs prior to nursing. There's all sorts of people out there.....not everyone is nice. (my other jobs were people orientated also)

I'd say most hospital staff are friendly....there's always those few that need a quick happy pill.

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Specializes in L&D.

Just like any other profession...you have some nice ones and some not-so-nice ones. And with the latter, kill 'em with kindness!!! :)

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.
Hi I'm soon going to be volunteering at a hospital soon and eventually become a CNA soon after that. I often wonder why are nurses mean?? Of course I'm not referring to all nurses but I hear and read stories that some Nurses are mean, I don't understand how someone chooses to be in a profession that is about helping patients and yet the nurse is lacking compassion. Are they just in it for the money? I'm just confused.

We're probably a lot LESS mean than other people. Its because we have this forum on which many people vent (better on AllNurses than with your family) so you have a skewed representation of the profession. But women don't play team sports like men and don't often learn how to accomodate the quirks of the other members of their teams. When we're half men, the profession will prosper. No matter where you work, you will come across mean people. In an office setting, the bad guys are perceived as snarky but in nursing where so much emotion and intellect in on the line...its just hard to stop, take and deep breath and realize that a lotof the bad things that happen are not about you. Its not personal. Its just a hard, demanding and sometimes thankless job. Doesn't mean I would ever do anything else.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

Being perceived as mean by you (a visitor, relative, friend, etc.) may indicate that the nurse is taking good care of your friend/relative.

For instance, I know for a fact that I'm considered mean when I ask the 15 or so members of my patient's visiting posse to ALL step out for an hour or 2 and let the patient rest after their surgery. Little do they know that I've had a private word with the patient and asked what he/she wants me to do, then taken the rap for being the bad guy. In the best interests of my patient, of course.

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In direct patient care nursing (which is where the majority of us work) there is nowhere to hide.

This is a world without cubicles and offices. We are in each other's shared space 12+ hours a day. We have to depend on each other. Any conflict is going to be magnified under those conditions.

Many posters are new to the non-student job working world and the culture shock of workplace politics is hard to get used to.

I think the threshold for "mean" in the workplace is a low one in a female dominated profession.

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Specializes in Med Surg, Peds, OB, L/D, Ortho.

i don't think we are so much "mean" as we are tired and ****** off about the work load and short staffing. :twocents:

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Nurses carry an enormous amount of responsibility. Few professions are as physically, mentally, intellectually and spiritually taxing as bedside nursing. Sometimes the expectations are simply unrealistic. Factor in long hours, tired feet, abusive family members and occasionally abusive patients along with many other stressors and you have a recipe for a cranky person. Nursing is a very task and time oriented profession with more and more expected of us/placed on our shoulders daily - the result is a nurse who might not always have the luxury of extending social niceties. keep in mind she might be juggling 10 things she needs to get done in the next 15 minutes just to keep a patient alive. So much is expected of nurses most of them are simply exhausted. I know I personally have not had a full night's sleep since 1988 ;). But seriously, I have been at the bedside close to 20 years now and I will agree with you - there are some nasty, dysfunctional people in this profession. There are wonderful people as well. Just always keep in mind the stress people are under and it is not always a personal attack or snub just because an exhausted nurse who has been abused for 12 hours straight 3 days a week does not have the energy to extend social graces. Good luck to you.

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Thank you all for responding to my post.:) I do have a clearer concept now of the situation especially since ya'll are nurses who do experience this.Thanks again... I hope I do well. :uhoh3:

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Specializes in Psychiatric.

Nursing is stressful. Stress brings out the "meanness" in a lot of people. Also, taking the time to word things nicely and diplomatically often takes, well, time--something nurses often have in short supply.

That said, I think the "nice" nurses outnumber the "mean" ones--you just hear more about the mean ones.

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They aren't mean, they're just surrounded by pansies. (Guess saying that makes me one of the mean ones.)

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