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Where do I fit in?

I started school this week and I feel lost! Everyone has formed groups or already knows eachother. I feel like a complete outsider. I know I'm not in school to make friends but it's discouraging. No one even attempts to talk to me or include me. I'm kind of a shy person anyway so it's really hard. I can't help but feel bad about it. Has anyone else felt this way?:aln:

Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN

Has 8 years experience. Specializes in dialysis.

Once your class breaks up into groups for projects and clinicals you'll get to know people better. Another thing that helped me get acquainted with everyone was showing up for class about 15 minutes early and hanging out with the early early birds. I felt left out at first too but eventually people started talking to me more.

AimeeJo RN

Specializes in ltc and med surg.

I remember feeling like I was in a room full of strangers. There are some people who feel the same as you, whether they show it or not. You all have Nursing in common.

:nurse:

I suggest just putting yourself out there and try to make friends.

Our instructors were awesome the first day. They did ice-breaking exercises where everyone introduced someone else to the rest of the class.....it was actually pretty fun. In another class, we each had to stand and tell the class one of our pet peeves. That got everyone laughing and made the day much less stressful. I am typically very shy as well, but I quickly found out that all of us have a lot of things in common and everyone in that room was just as nervous as me.

NightOwl0624

Has 6 years experience.

I think as time goes on you will probably feel more comfortable. There are some people that will ONLY stick with their friends, but once clinicals start, you may not have a lot of control over where you are placed (we go by a lottery system). When you are broken down into much smaller groups, it will be easier to get to know people better.

I felt the same way as you at first - everyone seemed to know each other! - and have gone on to meet some wonderful people. I guarantee you there are others who feel the exact same way as you!

I started school this week and I feel lost! Everyone has formed groups or already knows eachother. I feel like a complete outsider. I know I'm not in school to make friends but it's discouraging. No one even attempts to talk to me or include me. I'm kind of a shy person anyway so it's really hard. I can't help but feel bad about it. Has anyone else felt this way?:aln:

The other thing to consider is that you may be (as my Mama used to say), comparing your insides to their outsides.

How do you know that they feel like they're fitting in? Other folks may have not known anyone and just walked up to someone and started talking. I think it's highly unlikely that you're the only one that feels like an outsider. Give them and you some time, real relationships don't develop instantly, but instead over time with shared experiences.

For now, maybe set a goal for yourself to meet one new person a day. It might be tough in the beginning, but pretty soon you'll feel right at home.

I think given time, things will get better. I went in there not knowing anyone as well, but over time, we became such a close knit group and we worked awesome together. I think you'll be ok in no time!!!

I had trouble meeting people my first semester. We only took didactic, no clinical yet, even though our groups were already assigned. I'm your age, and married, and live 45 minutes from campus. Most students were younger, single, and lived closer. I did an accelerated program, but our classes were the same for everyone - we just took more of them at a time. I'd only been in the state for a year, and did most of my prereqs back in Louisiana. I felt like everyone else already knew each other, especially since most of the traditional students already did. Once we started clinicals though, I made friends quickly. Our group became very close - the adversity of nursing school tends to draw people together. We hated our CI, and that was enough to bond over.

Pmkn10RN

Has 8 years experience.

I started school this week and I feel lost! Everyone has formed groups or already knows eachother. I feel like a complete outsider. I know I'm not in school to make friends but it's discouraging. No one even attempts to talk to me or include me. I'm kind of a shy person anyway so it's really hard. I can't help but feel bad about it. Has anyone else felt this way?:aln:

You beat me to the post lol! I have been contemplating posting this same situation. I too started this week and feel very alone. It seems like everyone knows each other and there are lots of clicky groups, including too many sorority girls for my liking. I too can be shy around people I don't know but I have been trying to have small talk with people. My boyfriend keeps telling me just give it time so I hope he's right. I hope the previous posters are right too! You're not alone! I hope both of us find some great friends in school...or at least people to make the experience more enjoyable:icon_hug:

WickedRedRN, BSN, RN

Has 4 years experience. Specializes in ER/Trauma.

My experience has been that once you are in a clinical group you will feel more like a group. My clincial groups were 10 people to a group and I really found myself getting to know people better there.

Give it time, the first few weeks are rough, you are with new people, new routines, new instructors. This will all pass soon.

Good Luck!

Do-over, ASN, RN

Specializes in CICU.

I would just suggest that you make sure you are approachable. Do you smile a lot, and make eye contact with people? Do you say "hello" and "good morning" to everyone (without waiting for someone else to say it first)? How about "Y'all have a good weekend" or "see you on Monday" on your way out at the end of the week?

It works for me, a formerly very shy person who will now talk to anyone .

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