When Others Say You Aren't Right For Nursing

[purplegal]

I am sure that many of us have come across someone who doesn't agree with our career choice. You could be the perfect person for a job, but still, there will be some naysayer who says something like, "I don't see you in that position," or "That doesn't seem like the right career for you."

The thing is, how much should one consider other people's opinions when choosing their career? With most careers, other's opinions wouldn't matter greatly, as people's lives generally wouldn't be directly affected. Advice for people seeking non-nursing careers would be something such as "You have to do the job, and enjoy what you're doing. Don't listen to others if this is what you truly want to do."

With that said, nursing is a bit different. When you are a nurse, you are directly impacting patient's lives. That is the best--and the worst part of the profession. Anything you do can and will affect the patient, either positively, or negatively. Therefore, it seems like other people's opinions if you may matter more, especially if they come from those who are already successful nurses.

One person saying that they don't see you as a nurse may not be that big of a deal. Some people simply won't see our value, or what we can contribute. However, if you have had multiple people suggest you find a different career, should you pay attention to their opinions? If others have had concerns about your ability to perform the job safely, is it worth it to consider their thoughts? If more than one person has seen you struggle with aspects of the profession, is it a sign that nursing is not right for you?

More questions to ponder:

-Would you consider the opinion of ANYONE who says you should not be a nurse?

-Would you value the opinions of other nurses more than those who are not in the profession?

-How many people who are opposed to your being in nursing would it take for you to step back from your career?

-If you struggle with nursing, and others have noticed, should you continue to push forth anyway, in the event that you truly want to be a nurse?

-Would you ignore other people's opinions and simply pursue the career because it is the one you want, keeping in mind that the safety of patients may be affected?

With not all of our fellow nurses being encouraging, it seems worth it to discuss how much of their opinions, if at all, should affect our decision to continue nursing.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

@purplegal these questions can only be answered by the individuals affected by them, because only they know what is right for them.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I wouldn't consider anyone's "advice" regarding my choice of profession, other than a SO who might have life-style issues worthy of consideration. I would, however, solicit opinions from nurses only, then take their opinions of the profession into account.

Folks not in the profession could have no impact on my decision.

[purplegal]

@purplegal these questions can only be answered by the individuals affected by them, because only they know what is right for them.

For most jobs, I would agree. However, is it good for someone who struggles clinically to continue on in nursing, when they are directly impacting people's lives, possibly resulting in death? Someone can continue to believe that they will be a good nurse, but if others are observing issues with their performance, should their opinions be taken into any account at all?

[dishes, BSN, RN]

I have known some nurses who were advised not to work in acute care due to safety risks, they were let go from acute care and found other more suitable areas to work as nurses.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading"

(Gautama Buddha).

By the questions asked, I had a few dozens of people, all of them nurses, telling me just that and more of that. Now, many of them are trying to be exagerrately nice when we bump into each other... in vain, m'dears.

[macawake, MSN]

The thing is, how much should one consider other people's opinions when choosing their career?

However, if you have had multiple people suggest you find a different career, should you pay attention to their opinions?

If others have had concerns about your ability to perform the job safely, is it worth it to consider their thoughts?

If more than one person has seen you struggle with aspects of the profession, is it a sign that nursing is not right for you?

Are you asking these questions with a specific person in mind? Yourself? Someone else? Or are you just asking in general?

-Would you consider the opinion of ANYONE who says you should not be a nurse?

-How many people who are opposed to your being in nursing would it take for you to step back from your career?

The number of people saying something wouldn't be the deciding factor for me. The important thing is what the person is saying, the accuracy of what they're saying and whether they have the competence/experience required to make that judgment.

Since concern about patient's safety seems to be at the core of your questions I'll address that part. If one or many nurses (or other healthcare professionals who see me in action at work) were telling me that I wasn't practising safely and I perceive them as competent and honest (as opposed to some back-stabbing something-or-other with an agenda), I would ask them to clarify what they mean and ideally also offer examples of incidences that have led them to make their assessment of me.

I would then think long and hard about it and be honest with myself (unless what they said was absolute rubbish) and then decide if there was any truth to their opinions/observations. If there genuinely were things about how I carry out my duties that could potentially threaten patient safety, it would have to be rectified in order for me to feel comfortable in continuing in my present job (or even career if it was serious enough).

Your questions are in my opinion a bit too vague/broad for me to give a specific answer. Many things could make coworkers say that they don't think a certain person is suited for the job. It could be as simple as bad chemistry, they simply don't like the other person. It could be a unit culture not very welcoming to new coworkers. It could also be that they see something that is a genuine concern. However, I would assume that a responsible nurse would take other actions than simply telling a coworker over and over that they're not cut out for nursing, if they observed a genuine threat to patient safety.

Depending on what the problem is, the solution could be many different things. Perhaps working in another specialty (lower acuity, or some other factor) is the solution. Knowledge deficits? Hit the books/journals and gain the required knowledge/information to practise safely. Time management issues? Problems with prioritization? Ask for tips from coworkers who've found a way that works. Is anxiety interfering with the ability to carry out the work properly? Therapy could be a good idea.

-Would you ignore other people's opinions and simply pursue the career because it is the one you want, keeping in mind that the safety of patients may be affected?

I think that you know the right answer to that question.

It's hard to answer your questions without any details provided. I hope that you find what you are looking for. Good luck!

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

For most jobs, I would agree. However, is it good for someone who struggles clinically to continue on in nursing, when they are directly impacting people's lives, possibly resulting in death? Someone can continue to believe that they will be a good nurse, but if others are observing issues with their performance, should their opinions be taken into any account at all?

Well, this student would presumably fail clinical and therefore be unable to obtain a degree if they were that unsafe.

When I was a senior in high school applying to nursing school, what I heard repeatedly was that I was "too smart" to be a nurse and that I should consider being a doctor instead. I bought my house 4 years and 4 days after I graduated from my BSN program. Had I gone to medical school, I'd have just been graduating then with presumably another boatload of debt and starting an intern year making 1/3 of what I make as an RN. I'm all set with my decision.

[Maevish, ASN, RN]

I wouldn't consider anyone's "advice" regarding my choice of profession, other than a SO who might have life-style issues worthy of consideration. I would, however, solicit opinions from nurses only, then take their opinions of the profession into account.

Folks not in the profession could have no impact on my decision.

Exactly! I do want to say though, that even people in the profession can be really harsh and tell someone they don't belong or may not belong based simply on them being a new nurse and that person being exceptionally crabby that day.

[milesims]

Other's opinions about what career you're pursuing, especially when they're not affected by your decisions, should not matter in the least. Acquaintances, friends, family, and even other nurses are biased in their opinions, and your life career should not be swayed by these unprofessional opinions.

If it's an opinion of an unbiased professional, such as a psychologist, and you were diagnosed with an anxiety disorder where you can cause harm to patients in acute care, then consider listening.

[djh123]

Yes, we're affecting other people's lives and health. And sure, if seemingly everyone around you thinks you're a crappy nurse, well maybe some self-examination and soul-searching is in order. But, but, but: I have run across numerous people, some who were former friends, some who are co-workers, some who were potential dates ... and I've been misjudged by several. Some quickly, and based on an almost-comically small amount of information. Others who knew me a little better, but still 'decided' I'd done this or that, or had this or that attitude, based on just a little info. and/or observation they had.

All I'm trying to say is that yeah, if the evidence is huge, think about it, but in this short-attention-span world, many people will judge you very quickly, and their 'verdict' may not be true.

[Elliot.Kane]

Would you take the advice if it was what you wanted to hear?

Is it advice from those whose opinions you would blindly trust in other matters?

I got some good advice early on that you may or may not find useful: don't seek validation; it's not important, and you won't get it anyway.

Also, not everyone seeks fulfillment from their occupation. It doesn't have to be that missing thing that completes you. It's just as relevant and useful to utilize nursing as a means to an end, to work as a nurse as a means to do what you truly love.