Every time I build up my confidence and feel like I am getting somewhere and really making a breakthrough...Stuff happens and kills my mo-jo...(Yes, I am a new grad, about 2 months working, 1 and a half on the floor)...Today it was just sensory overload. We have a patient that is actively dying and the smell coming from the room is insanely grotesque. I really like this pt and even though she wasn't my responsibility today, I still went in a few times to comfort her...But dear goodness, what an awful way to go. It is totally haunting me and she is a fairly young woman to boot.Then I had just a plethora of other sights, sounds, feelings etc...etc...etc...All weekend my patients were the end result of gut twistingly sad stories, patients who will never have a good prognosis or maybe even a good day ever again. Lots of morphine drips, horrible necrotic wounds, brain death, CA with mets everywhere...Just all those horrible things that are just not compatible with life...I don't know exactly what I am asking for here, maybe I just needed to vent. I don't expect these things to get much easier ever. Maybe I just want to know that someone understands.I am feeling sad and even worse, a little disappointed in myself for being grossed out at times. I brought this all home with me and now it all just feels like a million little elephants laying on my chest.