I don't get what's with the "cliques" and stuff at work. I think you can have a professional, happy, and easy going relationship at work WITHOUT all the internal gossiping and such.
Because at the end of the day, who CARES what that nurse is doing or who she is doing? If it's not having a direct effect on your life, then don't worry about it! I mean, I have my outside-of-work friends that I'll gossip with, do things, with etc...
I feel as though if a work place is so divided, you shouldn't even talk to anyone outside of professional parameters... do your job and be out.
I guess a lot of people forget the saying "leave work at work and leave home and home." Don't mix the two because then that's when things get bad and out of control.
Working in a small hospital with a bunch of people I've known since Noah fell off the Ark, it's a bit difficult not to know them warts and all. We share our triumphs and tragedies and regard an injury to one as an injury to all.
The nurse whose alcoholic husband is in dementia; the one who lost a daughter to AIDS; the RN whose little boy is epileptic; the divorced unit manager who has a new boyfriend; and the RN whose son was once arrested for possession of marijuana (ces'moi-thank the Maker he's grown out of it!) we know each other's family histories and are there to support each other in need.
But we do not judge each other. It's when people start judging that the scandalizing steps in.
I was taught at a Convent school, and I remember a discussion in RI class about Judgement Day. One of my classmates asked "Will I have to stand there with everyone else knowing about all my sins?" and the wise sister replied, "Everyone else will be too busy worrying about their own sins to be bothered about yours." I think we were about 12 years old, and that reply has stayed with me.
The old saying about people in glass houses is a very true one; count on it that every scandalmonger has a skeleton in her cupboard. My belief is, you should never say anything behind peoples' backs that you are not prepared to say to their faces. And as for judging-sorry ladies and gents, that's not my job, nor yours neither.
Think how nice it would be to work in a place where you don't have to worry about those skeletons getting out of the closet! Let the old bones out for an airing!
I'm a woman who agrees with the OP. I keep my head down, mouth shut and do not engage in anything other than superficial conversation with my coworkers. I have never been involved in any workplace drama as a result. They know I'm married with kids, and that's about it. They don't know my favorite color, food or sexual position, and certainly not anything about my finances or interpersonal relationships. I have a few that try to discuss such things with me, and I smile, say something inconsequential and either walk away or change the topic. I have never uttered a bad word about a co-worker (aloud-that isn't to say I haven't thought them), nor do I listen to others do so. I just do not play along with that nonsense. I am friendly with everyone, friends with no one. I also do not facebook, lol. Consequently, I have a very happy workplace and working relationship with colleagues.
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
Try to be pleasant and accomodating to your co-workers, but don't divulge personal information, because people gossip even if they like you. It's just too delicious not to pass around stories in this setting. It is not necessary for you to become friends with anyone in your organization--after all you are there to work. I am an outgoing individual whose mouth has gotten her into trouble many times. Now i am quiet and do my work, get that check, and get the heck out of there. I do not care to have friends at work because co-workers constantly gossip. Do not let your guard down, just smile, be professional, and watch your back if you want your job to last.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I suspect you are a man. My husband has worked for years in his engineering firm with lots of other guys and these men know almost nothing about the personal lives of each other. They aren't even curious and they are satisfied with the arrangement.
Women work a little differently. We do want to know more about each other's lives, and work and life do not fit neatly into separate compartments.
When someone oversteps too much, there leaves the risk for gossip and cliques.
I guess I must be a man. I really don't want to know about my co-worker's home lives. It's not that I'm mean and uncaring, it's just that when I go to work, I'm there to work, not socialize. Certainly, if someone is having a crisis I want to be supportive, but the day to day stuff? I really just don't need to know about it, don't care to talk about it. That gets me tagged as aloof, which isn't necessarily true, but whatever. It keeps me out of the gossip mill.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Working in a small hospital with a bunch of people I've known since Noah fell off the Ark, it's a bit difficult not to know them warts and all. We share our triumphs and tragedies and regard an injury to one as an injury to all.
The nurse whose alcoholic husband is in dementia; the one who lost a daughter to AIDS; the RN whose little boy is epileptic; the divorced unit manager who has a new boyfriend; and the RN whose son was once arrested for possession of marijuana (ces'moi-thank the Maker he's grown out of it!) we know each other's family histories and are there to support each other in need.
But we do not judge each other. It's when people start judging that the scandalizing steps in.
I was taught at a Convent school, and I remember a discussion in RI class about Judgement Day. One of my classmates asked "Will I have to stand there with everyone else knowing about all my sins?" and the wise sister replied, "Everyone else will be too busy worrying about their own sins to be bothered about yours." I think we were about 12 years old, and that reply has stayed with me.
The old saying about people in glass houses is a very true one; count on it that every scandalmonger has a skeleton in her cupboard. My belief is, you should never say anything behind peoples' backs that you are not prepared to say to their faces. And as for judging-sorry ladies and gents, that's not my job, nor yours neither.
Think how nice it would be to work in a place where you don't have to worry about those skeletons getting out of the closet! Let the old bones out for an airing!
Working in a small hospital with a bunch of people I've known since Noah fell off the Ark, it's a bit difficult not to know them warts and all. We share our triumphs and tragedies and regard an injury to one as an injury to all.
I understand this part - I work in a small rural hospital too.
One of our CNA's recently lost the grandson she raised - he was shot and killed in Afghanistan. We all rallied around her and supported her and continue to do so.
However, I just don't think it is a great idea to share everything with people at work. I personally don't do that anymore. It just comes back to bite you because the truth is, not everyone, even in small rural places where you've known each other since "Noah fell off the ark" (Noah fell??) . . . .will subscribe to the "judge not" theory of working together - there are still people who love to stir the pot and make trouble.
All workplaces are like this - not just nursing. This is my second career. I worked in the hotel industry, in the restaurant industry, as a secretary, in a shoe store . . . .and there are cliques and there is gossip and backstabbing behavior everywhere.
I guess I must be a man. I really don't want to know about my co-worker's home lives. It's not that I'm mean and uncaring, it's just that when I go to work, I'm there to work, not socialize. Certainly, if someone is having a crisis I want to be supportive, but the day to day stuff? I really just don't need to know about it, don't care to talk about it. That gets me tagged as aloof, which isn't necessarily true, but whatever. It keeps me out of the gossip mill.
Thanks but no thanks. Just reading that was TMI.
I hear and respect that. The point I'm making is that we don't make meals out of each others personal lives. In all honesty, this is the only place I have worked where I felt that I could sometimes laugh, or vent, or cry about personal problems with my colleagues-such is the level of trust that has built up over the years. I mean, I've known most of them for 15 years+...
But I do agree with certain of the posts, especially those that refer to colleagues talking in gory detail about their sex lives: that shows a serious lack of self-respect!
) . . . .will subscribe to the "judge not" theory of working together - there are still people who love to stir the pot and make trouble. 
GHGoonette, BSN, RN
1,249 Posts
Working in a small hospital with a bunch of people I've known since Noah fell off the Ark, it's a bit difficult not to know them warts and all. We share our triumphs and tragedies and regard an injury to one as an injury to all.
The nurse whose alcoholic husband is in dementia; the one who lost a daughter to AIDS; the RN whose little boy is epileptic; the divorced unit manager who has a new boyfriend; and the RN whose son was once arrested for possession of marijuana (ces'moi-thank the Maker he's grown out of it!) we know each other's family histories and are there to support each other in need.
But we do not judge each other. It's when people start judging that the scandalizing steps in.
I was taught at a Convent school, and I remember a discussion in RI class about Judgement Day. One of my classmates asked "Will I have to stand there with everyone else knowing about all my sins?" and the wise sister replied, "Everyone else will be too busy worrying about their own sins to be bothered about yours." I think we were about 12 years old, and that reply has stayed with me.
The old saying about people in glass houses is a very true one; count on it that every scandalmonger has a skeleton in her cupboard. My belief is, you should never say anything behind peoples' backs that you are not prepared to say to their faces. And as for judging-sorry ladies and gents, that's not my job, nor yours neither.
Think how nice it would be to work in a place where you don't have to worry about those skeletons getting out of the closet! Let the old bones out for an airing!