What's your opinion on nurses dating doctors?

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Milkofamnesia02, BSN

Specializes in ICU. Has 19 years experience.

Plant Ops is where it‚Äôs at. ūüėā

amoLucia

Specializes in retired LTC.

SR -  It's me, but I missed your point.

Also, it's usually recommended  that members here keep their screen names anonymous. Everybody & anybody reads posts here.

Milkofamnesia02, BSN

Specializes in ICU. Has 19 years experience.

7 hours ago, amoLucia said:

SR -  It's me, but I missed your point.

Also, it's usually recommended  that members here keep their screen names anonymous. Everybody & anybody reads posts here.

Just my attempt at humor. I never dated where I work until this one time where I ended up marrying the guy in maintenance.

myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN

Specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro. Has 13 years experience.

On 10/8/2020 at 3:39 PM, DavidFR said:

It constantly amazes me how many people put doctors on a pedestal and will date even the ugliest specimens, especially the male ones, gay or straight. Have you noticed a male doctor is rarely single? Even when he's a dog.

What does it matter the reason that someone wants to date (or marry) someone? Why is it somehow less of a virtue if someone likes me for my money, my profession, or say my ability to hold a nice conversation than if they are attracted to my dimples, muscles, or nice chin profile? People's reasons are their own. I think that it is slightly offensive to refer to someone as "ugly" we would not consider it "OK" to call someone "stupid" for example. We all have unique gifts, attributes and liabilities what makes someone who is physically blessed, but otherwise lacking more appealing or deserving than someone who is financially or intellectually blessed, but physically unappealing? Stephen Hawking for example never lacked for a wife or girlfriend despite his physical challenges. 

Edited by myoglobin

On 10/21/2020 at 2:42 PM, Ruby Vee said:

It'ÔĽŅs bad to date patients or spouses of patienÔĽŅts.

Good God, NO. Now that has never crossed my mind and I never heard of that.  Never say never, I suppose.

myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN

Specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro. Has 13 years experience.

3 minutes ago, DesiDani said:

Good God, NO. Now that has never crossed my mind and I never heard of that.  Never say never, I suppose.

I believe that would be considered unethical and might well result in action against your nursing license.  In the armed forces it would probably be considered "conduct non becoming of an officer".  

DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health. Has 35 years experience.

1 hour ago, myoglobin said:

What does it matter the reason that someone wants to date (or marry) someone? Why is it somehow less of a virtue if someone likes me for my money, my profession, or say my ability to hold a nice conversation than if they are attracted to my dimples, muscles, or nice chin profile? People's reasons are their own. I think that it is slightly offensive to refer to someone as "ugly" we would not consider it "OK" to call someone "stupid" for example. We all have unique gifts, attributes and liabilities what makes someone who is physically blessed, but otherwise lacking more appealing or deserving than someone who is financially or intellectually blessed, but physically unappealing? Stephen Hawking for example never lacked for a wife or girlfriend despite his physical challenges. 

Anybody who likes somebody JUST for their money or JUST for the  social standing their profession gives them - well, we can make our own conclusions about them. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ugly is a subjective term. I have encountered many married doctors I have personally perceived to be ugly and they attract dates purely because of the esteem with which some people attribute to being a doctor -  fact. Some have been physically attractive but have had ugly personalities. Doubtless others may think differently as is their right.

If you're offended by the term ugly I'm afraid I'm not going to excuse myself for a light hearted remark. And yes, if I think somlebody is stupid I will say so - others may think that of me as is their perogative. Lighten up. Personally I'm fat and I don't get offended if you want to point out that reality to me.

Edited by DavidFR

myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN

Specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro. Has 13 years experience.

4 hours ago, DavidFR said:

Anybody who likes somebody JUST for their money or JUST for the  social standing their profession gives them - well, we can make our own conclusions about them. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ugly is a subjective term. I have encountered many married doctors I have personally perceived to be ugly and they attract dates purely because of the esteem with which some people attribute to being a doctor -  fact. Some have been physically attractive but have had ugly personalities. Doubtless others may think differently as is their right.

If you're offended by the term ugly I'm afraid I'm not going to excuse myself for a light hearted remark. And yes, if I think somlebody is stupid I will say so - others may think that of me as is their perogative. Lighten up. Personally I'm fat and I don't get offended if you want to point out that reality to me.

I feel that dating someone for their appearance may be construed at least equally shallow as dating them for their occupational status or finances. However, few question dating someone for their "looks". The fact that someone has become a doctor usually signifies a good deal more than that they have significant income. It also means that they have endeavored for a significant period of their lives towards a goal which usually means a better than average chance of having a certain amount of "character" also it probably also correlates with at least a reasonable level of innate, genetic intelligence.  These are worthwhile attributes which may cause someone to want to "date" or even marry them and are at least as valuable as winning a "genetic lottery" (in many cases) and  being born physically attractive or having endeavored to become more attractive either through exercise, surgery or other means.  Having said that I think that dating someone for their looks is fine. I also think dating someone for their money (at least in part), their education, their humor, or their conversational skills are also just fine.  People should be able to date whoever they choose without ridicule. Also, people who are physically challenged (in terms of their appearance) or intellectually challenged for whatever reason should not face additional ridicule from others.

Edited by myoglobin

DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health. Has 35 years experience.

1 hour ago, myoglobin said:

I feel that dating someone for their appearance may be construed at least equally shallow as dating them for their occupational status or finances. However, few question dating someone for their "looks". The fact that someone has become a doctor usually signifies a good deal more than that they have significant income. It also means that they have endeavored for a significant period of their lives towards a goal which usually means a better than average chance of having a certain amount of "character" also it probably also correlates with at least a reasonable level of innate, genetic intelligence.  These are worthwhile attributes which may cause someone to want to "date" or even marry them and are at least as valuable as winning a "genetic lottery" (in many cases) and  being born physically attractive or having endeavored to become more attractive either through exercise, surgery or other means.  Having said that I think that dating someone for their looks is fine. I also think dating someone for their money (at least in part), their education, their humor, or their conversational skills are also just fine.  People should be able to date whoever they choose without ridicule. Also, people who are physically challenged (in terms of their appearance) or intellectually challenged for whatever reason should not face additional ridicule from others.

Most relationships start with physical attraction. And then you get to know the person. That's the normal course of things, it's how we're built. People who are not particularly physically attractive ARE disadvantaged in this, and I'm not ridiculing them. I met my husband many years ago when I was slim and reasonably attractive. If I were on the market now as a fat, middle aged man with wrinkles and grey hairs I'd have a harder time of it than I did then. I am less attractive now, FACT. However, if I were a doctor there would some swooning youngsters saying "ooh, he's a doctor" and  they would overlook my physical flaws in a way they don't do for a nurse, a plumber or a hairdresser. That is my point - I didn't say it was good, bad or indifferent, I simply said that's the way it is. Ugly doctors can pull, ugly janitors have a harder time of it.    

If you are not physically attracted to somebody but pretend you are because they are either rich or a social class 1 professional, that suggests certain things about you. If I sleep with you because I fancy you I'm being honest. If I sleep with you because I think you've got money I'm being shallow, and dishonest. 

Different societies have different values. When traditional Hindus arrange marriages for their children they've got to be the right caste, a "good catch" and doctors, lawyers and businessmen are right up there as "desirable" whilst love or attraction doesn't come into it. Perhaps you like that idea? I don't. 

I dated one doctor because I liked him. Unlike you I don't make assumptions about what doctors will be like just because they're doctors, and I don't put doctors on a pedestal. They're people and they go to the toilet just like you and I. Some are worth dating, others aren't. 

I married somebody I at first fancied like crazy and then fell in love with. I preferred it that way. His income or profession wasn't important to me. Maybe you have different values. That's your perogative. Good luck to you.  

myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN

Specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro. Has 13 years experience.

52 minutes ago, DavidFR said:

Most relationships start with physical attraction. And then you get to know the person. That's the normal course of things, it's how we're built. People who are not particularly physically attractive ARE disadvantaged in this, and I'm not ridiculing them. I met my husband many years ago when I was slim and reasonably attractive. If I were on the market now as a fat, middle aged man with wrinkles and grey hairs I'd have a harder time of it than I did then. I am less attractive now, FACT. However, if I were a doctor there would some swooning youngsters saying "ooh, he's a doctor" and  they would overlook my physical flaws in a way they don't do for a nurse, a plumber or a hairdresser. That is my point - I didn't say it was good, bad or indifferent, I simply said that's the way it is. Ugly doctors can pull, ugly janitors have a harder time of it.    

If you are not physically attracted to somebody but pretend you are because they are either rich or a social class 1 professional, that suggests certain things about you. If I sleep with you because I fancy you I'm being honest. If I sleep with you because I think you've got money I'm being shallow, and dishonest. 

Different societies have different values. When traditional Hindus arrange marriages for their children they've got to be the right caste, a "good catch" and doctors, lawyers and businessmen are right up there as "desirable" whilst love or attraction doesn't come into it. Perhaps you like that idea? I don't. 

I dated one doctor because I liked him. Unlike you I don't make assumptions about what doctors will be like just because they're doctors, and I don't put doctors on a pedestal. They're people and they go to the toilet just like you and I. Some are worth dating, others aren't. 

I married somebody I at first fancied like crazy and then fell in love with. I preferred it that way. His income or profession wasn't important to me. Maybe you have different values. That's your perogative. Good luck to you.  

I will grant you that "most relationships" start that way is probably a true statement. However, the fact that something is common in no way makes it superior or denigrates the alternative (liking someone for a different trait). I wasn't particularly attracted to my SO when we first met, but now almost 30 years later I find her very attractive. I would not have traded the opportunity to be with her for any amount of money or females that I might have been more physically attracted to.  All, I am saying is that just because someone is attracted to someone for their profession, humor, finances, or intellect that is in no way "worse" (and it is also not necessarily better) than being attracted for their "looks". 

DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health. Has 35 years experience.

2 hours ago, myoglobin said:

I will grant you that "most relationships" start that way is probably a true statement. However, the fact that something is common in no way makes it superior or denigrates the alternative (liking someone for a different trait). I wasn't particularly attracted to my SO when we first met, but now almost 30 years later I find her very attractive. I would not have traded the opportunity to be with her for any amount of money or females that I might have been more physically attracted to.  All, I am saying is that just because someone is attracted to someone for their profession, humor, finances, or intellect that is in no way "worse" (and it is also not necessarily better) than being attracted for their "looks". 

I think we've strayed a little off the point. You  were initially upset at my use of the word ugly. I personally think that was a little over sensitive. 

You think it's OK to marry for money or status. I personally couldn't do that. We can agree to differ. 

myoglobin, ASN, BSN, MSN

Specializes in ICU, trauma, neuro. Has 13 years experience.

Well, the topic was about dating as opposed to marriage (after all I’ve been with my SO almost 30 years and we are not legally married). Also, my point was that people like and love others for very complex reasons. I have personally been in long term relationships where physical intimacy was not even part of the equation and I work with many clients in that position. From my vantage point it is fine for nurses to date doctors or anyone else they choose so long as it doesn’t violate ethical standards (such as patients).