What's the meanest thing a patient has said to you?

[fangirl]

Just curious, what's the meanest, rudest, nastiest thing a patient has said to you? Tonight I had someone tell me they wished I would die and go straight to he!! Then they said they hoped it rained everywhere I went. They also told someone they were a son of a b. What's your best line?

[Guest805836]

I recently had a very foulmouthed old lady with dementia. I usually ignore insults from people with mental issues, they have no filter... but hers were so colorful, they stuck !

She had to be restrained, because she was in the ICU but obviously didn't want to stay there, and kept trying to get out of bed, rip out her IVs and run off. So she resorted to thrashing around the bed and pulling on whatever thing she could get her hands on. She shredded her single use gown and kicked off her sheets, so she was more or less naked when I walked in the room. She snarled "Are you looking at my c**t ? It's like yours, but at least mine is clean !" Ouch. That was the highlight of my night

[xxdiscoxxheaven]

Yeah this sounds like a set up lol

[banterings]

To put these in perspective (except for the physiological based comments: insulin levels, dementia, etc.), what is the meanest, rudest, nastiest thing you have ever said to another person. These things can be traced to 5 root causes: fear, frustration, hurt, ignorance (not purposeful, but a lack of knowing such as a person's situation), and self defense.

Having a psych/counseling background, I can quickly size up a person and with my words make them relive their most traumatic experiences or bring their self doubts to the surface and have them second guessing every decision that they make. I have reduced (average, normal) adults to tears.

One day I looked in the mirror and did not like the person I saw. Tearing people apart with words was just part of this. I changed and became a better person. I now like the person I see in the mirror. On the rare occasion that I do this, it is only to defend myself after someone physically harms me. Many times I still apologize (for defending myself).

The reason is that words hit harder than fists. There is no greater hell than that which a person creates for themselves. For those reasons, the OP probably started this topic and so many people recall mean things said to them.

Part of letting go of that is understanding that when people verbally attack me it is because they are hurt, afraid, frustrated, do not know or understand me, or I may have hurt them.

I also tell people; "You can't offend me, but are welcome to try."

[mirai]

I had a patient throw her food on my face because her food was tasteless according to her.

[MaggieMaggie]

I had originally posted something else but I just remembered something worse. I had a patient with dementia who was paranoid and kept saying he must be sick because his family poisoned him. I told him "don't worry, your family did not poison you". His reponse was "well then who did? You?!" Then he started screaming "she's got poison!! She's a *****!!" repeatedly, and very loudly. A lot of people came by to check on him. I assured them (and him) I didn't have poison and begged him to stop screaming something that isn't true but he was determined to shout it from the mountaintops. I shouldn't have tried to intervene.

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

I had a patient throw her food on my face because her food was tasteless according to her.

A real charmer, huh? lol

[truthteller]

Been called some very derogatory names but I prefer to dwell on other comments, "If God exists, he owes you big rewards." "I wish everyone else here worked the way you do." "Your bedside manner is calming and confident." "You're the only one who comes in just to say hi." "If they call you on your day off say no. You earned your days off." These are the things patients have said that make the job worth doing.

[dah doh, BSN, RN]

I've been called lots of names...too many to remember...mostly by the dementia, neurologically impaired, or psych patients, occasionally by the A**hole types that are gang bangers, in custody patients, or the ones who are just mad at the world because of their condition or diagnosis. Verbal abuse, throwing stuff, and just plain nastiness just rolls off back like water off a duck's back.

I think the worst is when patients or visitors get violent and physically abuse the staff! I've seen patients and families attack the staff for various reasons. The worst was when a young patient (who we saved his life) kicked a nurse so hard that he broke her bones. She needed lots of surgery to fix her up & had a heart attack from the stress of all of it! She had to retire from nursing, which made me sad because she was a great nurse. All of the while, the family kept claiming their family member is usually "so sweet"...mmm...sure he is...actions speak louder than words in this case!

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

I was told by a hard stick patient as I was trying to find a vein that she hoped I never had children because I wasn't gentle (this was said on my first shift back after I had a baby that was stillborn)

I was told that I deserve to be eaten alive by maggots when I told a patient that no he couldn't have another sandwich (after bringing him 5).

I've been told that the patient was going to kill me and feed me to the other nurses because I had to place a catheter in him.

I apologize for all of them....but I know it is not the same.

[RNKimmy]

That my heart was "as cold as the handles on my walker"

not the meanest but certainly most clever...was laughing too hard to even be offended

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Yes, if our current crop of patients has an average age of 122...

Even though the bigotry is never accepted, I understand it from the older generation, because they either had slaves or their parents did. So I my opinion, they will never see anything good/significant coming from people of color. Its just how they were raised, and that was instilled in them. You know the saying "you cant teach old dog new tricks?" I think it applies to most of them. Sometimes I wonder if they really mean it or even aware of the time they now live in. Some of them are still trapped in the past.

This is where our characters play a huge role in separating us from them. just take it with a smile, even though it hurts like hell. What doesn't kill us will definitely make us stronger.

[Red Kryptonite]

That my heart was "as cold as the handles on my walker"

not the meanest but certainly most clever...was laughing too hard to even be offended

That. Is. Inspired.

I wanna be her when I grow up to be old and wrinkly.