What's the craziest thing you've heard over the ambulance radio?

[JeneraterRN]

Hello everyone,

I ran a search for this one and didn't find it, so I apologize if this is a repeat thread. Just for fun, what is the craziest or funniest thing you've heard over the ambulance radio for report? Personally, I had a first responder when asked what the patient's vitals were, he didn't know and couldn't clarify to me why he had no vitals. Another that was told to me, but one I didn't hear, was, "Patient is combative during CPR.". Anyone else have some funny ones?

[iNurseUK, RN]

An ambulance tech I got talking to one time told me this tale. There was a man, very well known to the ambulance crews who lived very close to his local hospital, VERY close on the same road.

Well every weekend he'd go into town and get drunk. He'd then call an ambulance complaining of chest pain (which UK NHS ambulances are NOT allowed to ignore) get a lift to his local hospital, immediately discharge himself from A&E and walk the few yards home.

Getting fed up of being used as a free taxi service the techs picked up this bloke one night and, claiming that his local hospital was full, drove him to a hospital some 70 miles away where they had a transfer scheduled. They picked up their transfer but left him stranded.

AS he had discharged himself from THAT hospital's A&E they refused to help with transport. It was estimated it must have cost a good £ 100 to get home.

Never called the ambulance service again.

[Trekfan]

I had to call 911 once when EMS got here, the crew had never transported a service dog before and was truly not shore what to do with him .So after they put me in the back ,they called me dog and put him in the front, belted him in and rolled down the window for him. My dog had also unknown to me had picked up one of his toys on the way out. So he go's to call us in and hear this "on route with pt , one dog ,and one racoon eta 20 min" I just started to laugh my head off in the back .

[JeneraterRN]

We used to have a couple in town that would like some space from each other. When they would fight, one or the other would call an ambulance for transport for some bogus complaint. We almost didn't believe him when he came in for neck pain after a drunken fall off his bike-he had a c3 fracture.

[Daisy_08, BSN, RN]

An ambulance tech I got talking to one time told me this tale. There was a man, very well known to the ambulance crews who lived very close to his local hospital, VERY close on the same road.

Well every weekend he'd go into town and get drunk. He'd then call an ambulance complaining of chest pain (which UK NHS ambulances are NOT allowed to ignore) get a lift to his local hospital, immediately discharge himself from A&E and walk the few yards home.

Getting fed up of being used as a free taxi service the techs picked up this bloke one night and, claiming that his local hospital was full, drove him to a hospital some 70 miles away where they had a transfer scheduled. They picked up their transfer but left him stranded.

AS he had discharged himself from THAT hospital's A&E they refused to help with transport. It was estimated it must have cost a good £ 100 to get home.

Never called the ambulance service again.

I'm in Canada, and have a friend who`s a Paramedic WAY up north. She said they get calls all the time from the Native Canadias who want to go to town. A trip will normally run you 200$ but for Native Canadias its free, she said its a big problem.

[lckrn2pa]

I was working a travel gig in Arkansas and the end of my contract we all went to some dive bar after my last day shift, as I was leaving I told the ambo crew stationed at the ER I'd be calling 911 about 230 from the bar for dizziness and then AMA at the back door (company put me up 1 block from the hospital). The big redneck paramedic promised me that in his professional opinion my GCS would be 8 and would treat accordingly lol. Cabs don't cost that much in Arkansas after all....