What to do?

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I'm not sure what to do. I'm currently a pre-nursing student and have a year of pre-reqs. left before applying to clinicals. The reason that I am becoming a nurse is because my husband wants me to. Now please don't get me wrong he's a kind and loving man. He just has his heart set on this. However, I absolutely HATE everything about what nursing requires. I don't want to be a guinnea pig in clinicals (which is required at the school in my area). I don't want to do IV's on anyone or let a student practice on me. I know this sounds stupid but I have a paralyzing fear of needles. Even looking at one causes me to hyperventilate so giving shots is out of the question. I don't want to see anyone die. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's life or death decisions. What is the real killer is that I'm on the Dean's List and have A's in all my pre-nursing classes. I feel awful that I don't want to fufill his dreams and also terrible that someone else would love to have my place in class. I know if I tell him this it'll destroy him. I have a kind heart and hate to see anyone suffer and medicine interests me but I just don't know what to do.

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I would say to not continue, it's great that you are willing to do something so committed and difficult for your husband but the end result may not be what he or you may have expected. I am just into my 2nd week of my RN program but I already know how hard it's going to be and I absolutely love it. If you already don't like a lot of aspects of nursing then clinicals may make it worse and my fear is that you may then start resenting your husband for persuading you to do this. It could be really hard on your marriage let alone how stressful it is in general. You have to want it and want to do it for yourself and want to help people otherwise I am not sure how one would survive school. The fact that you have A's is great but just think how great those A's would be in something that you actually want to do. Sounds like you might need to do some searching for what YOU want, who knows I could be wrong and you may get to clinicals and totally love it and the environment! But is an awful big risk to take for someone else's dream, no matter how much you love them! (Trust me I am married as well!) Hope this helps a little and you figure it out!

Be who you are, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm currently a pre-nursing student and have a year of pre-reqs. left before applying to clinicals. The reason that I am becoming a nurse is because my husband wants me to. Now please don't get me wrong he's a kind and loving man. He just has his heart set on this. However I absolutely HATE everything about what nursing requires. I don't want to be a guinnea pig in clinicals (which is required at the school in my area). I don't want to do IV's on anyone or let a student practice on me. I know this sounds stupid but I have a paralyzing fear of needles. Even looking at one causes me to hyperventilate so giving shots is out of the question. I don't want to see anyone die. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's life or death decisions. What is the real killer is that I'm on the Dean's List and have A's in all my pre-nursing classes. I feel awful that I don't want to fufill his dreams and also terrible that someone else would love to have my place in class. I know if I tell him this it'll destroy him. I have a kind heart and hate to see anyone suffer and medicine interests me but I just don't know what to do.[/quote']

What do you want to do with your life? If not nursing, then what?

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I actually started out as a Criminal Justice major and wanted to be a probation officer but after my arm was broke in a training accident my husband wanted me to find something safe and strongly encouraged me to switch majors to nursing. The pre-reqs are completely different and I only had one semester left before graduating with a BS in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology. He's made it very clear though that if I went back to C.J. it would mean a divorce. He said he dosen't ever want to get that phone call again.

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Specializes in Forensic Psych.
I actually started out as a Criminal Justice major and wanted to be a probation officer but after my arm was broke in a training accident my husband wanted me to find something safe and strongly encouraged me to switch majors to nursing. The pre-reqs are completely different and I only had one semester left before graduating with a BS in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology. He's made it very clear though that if I went back to C.J. it would mean a divorce. He said he dosen't ever want to get that phone call again.

Well, there are more jobs options out there than just probation officer and nurse.

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The reason that I am becoming a nurse is because my husband wants me to. .. I absolutely HATE everything about what nursing requires.

Then why do it? I understand your husband wants you to but your are not living his life, you are living your own.

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This is your life, not his. Do what you want to do and what makes you happy, not what he demands for you to do. This is not his career, it's yours. If you are unhappy with nursing, by all means, pursue a different career. Life is entirely too short to spend it being miserable in order to please someone else.

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Specializes in Short Term/Skilled.

Maybe he should go to nursing school. You should go to school for what will make you happy. It's good that you want to please him, but he should not be asking you to do something that he knows will make you miserable. If it were me I would simply say so. My hubby would not push me to peruse a career he knew I had no interest in, nor I him.

"No day but today"

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Specializes in OB.

Being a nurse also has its risks. It is not a 9-5 Monday through Friday thing. You may get punched in the face by a patient, you may get stuck with a contaminated needle and have to go through months of testing to make sure you didn't catch anything. You will be spending a lot of Holidays away from home just because you "have" to work a specific amount of holidays to make it fair for everyone. You will be on your feet for hours, you will be charting for the rest of the time. If he is threatening to leave if you don't do this, hey, the door or wide open. Let him leave and do what YOU want to do. He can then be a nurse himself, but with that selfish mind I doubt he will make it very far. Good luck!

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

I think you answered your own question !! You don't want to be a nurse , then don't become one because a lot of people that actually WANTED to be nurses don't like it . I graduated with a Dental Hygiene degree in 1999, with the an inkling that I really would rather be a nurse but hey, the hours were better as a Dental Hygienist and the "wait list" wasn't as long. Well guess what? I hated it ! Now, I've graduated and work as an LPN and am almost finished with my RN bridge program. I am happier now than ever, even though nursing is the HARDEST thing I've ever done, I LOVE it and that makes it worth it !! If your heart isn't in it, then explain that to your husband and do what your heart/gut tells you to do or you will be wasting your time, which could really make you resentful to your husband in the end. Good Luck to you !!

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I am sorry but a kind and loving husband would not threaten to divorce you if you pursued your dream. Please do not go to nursing school just to please him. You will be miserable. Your husband sounds extremely controlling. You need to sit down with him and have a long talk about your future.

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
I actually started out as a Criminal Justice major and wanted to be a probation officer but after my arm was broke in a training accident my husband wanted me to find something safe and strongly encouraged me to switch majors to nursing. The pre-reqs are completely different and I only had one semester left before graduating with a BS in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology. He's made it very clear though that if I went back to C.J. it would mean a divorce. He said he dosen't ever want to get that phone call again.

Do you want to be a probation officer? Do you want to do something else with criminal justice?

There is no way that my husband would ever tell me what to do or not to do with my life. Even though I was an RN when we met, we have had the hypothetical "what if I ever want a career change" and he would be fine with it. Really it is not his place to stop me if I decide to leave nursing (not that I am thinking about it).

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