What we say and what we do....

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

In the last couple of days/weeks, I have been noticing some things on this website that troubles me.

On more than just a few occasions, I have read whole threads, where there is a "discussion", or difference of opinion being expressed.

I notice in some of those threads that more times than not, when one person doesn't agree with the "crowd", the "crowd" then turns on the "outsider" or "non-agreeing one", and then comes in with personal attacks.....

Comments that state things like: "I bet her patients are fearful"....or "brain anonmalies" or implying that only the "seasoned ones" have ultimate knowledge. There doesn't seem to be any free exchange of ideas from that point on. The one being attacked is hounded with questions about whether or not they have the "credentials" to back up their opinion, etc.

I wonder about this. I wonder why nurses who talk about NOT EATING THEIR YOUNG, do so OPENLY on a public forum, all in the name of "education", and thn post on another thread about how wrong it is to eat their own young!

I wonder why moderators don't put some sort of "kabosh" on people who repeatedly and personally attack people....not the IDEA, but the PERSON.....there is a distinct difference, but just like in most bullying situations, the onlookers tend to look the other way.....and I wonder why, when you have threads about lateral violence, and nurses bullying others, you allow that to happen here right under your eyeglasses, with nary a finger wag.

It's one thing to express an opinion, and then step back when someone blasts that opinion with one of their own....

It's quite another to make comments about a nurse's mental health, their brain capacity, labeling them as arrogant and then topping it off with " i don't think she has any experience.

if she does, God pity her frightened, disoriented pts. " and calling this poster a "troll??"

I don't care how passionate you are about some particular area of your work, by calling a fellow nurse a troll or brain damaged or dismissing her comments as "less than" because you don't agree with them, only diminishes YOU.

I find it even more IRONIC that the many who attacked her were standing on their soapboxes squawking loudly about HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH DISORENTED AND DEMENTED PATIENTS....

If you have to resort to calling a fellow nurse a troll? what kind of communicator ARE YOU??

I am ashamed to have read that thread....and even more ashamed to realize that it was participated in by so-called "seasoned" nurses....

In my opinion, you should be able to conduct yourselves better....you want to be seen as professionals, and yet, here you are, calling another in your profession a troll, because she sees something differently....

What do you suppose she took from this communication exchange???

I don't think she even heard your point....she was still reeling from the frontal verbal punches you threw at her....

You can kick me off the forum for this if you want. Or, you can let this be an opportunity for some here to offer an apology for getting out of line....jmho. crni

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

Could you provide links to these posts so we can see exactly what you are referring to? I have seen something to the effect of what you are talking about; but, not nearly as strong as what you are referring to. No one should be belittled or degraded for expressing an honest opinion. The free exchange of ideas is what helps us to learn and grow as human beings and separates us from the animal kingdom (although there are many animals I would much prefer spending my time with than having to deal with some humans).

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

That's certainly true about preferring animal company sometimes....very few of them bite each other for no good reason....hehehe! Although, I used to have a horse that would reach around just as you would put your foot in the stirrup and take a big bite right out of your behind! That little wench! My dad almost sold her to a glue factory because she didn't want to stop doing that! It took some time, but she finally learned that it wasn't in her best interest to bite the butt that feeds her!! HA! Can't say that for some human beings, however! There are days I just shake my head!!:bugeyes:

https://allnurses.com/forums/f22/pacify-orientate-alzheimers-176053.html

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That is an older thread . . . I remember it and skimmed parts of it just now and until I have time to read the whole thing, I'll have to say I don't remember it like you characterized.

In fact the last page has people grateful for the thread and all they learned.

I'll have more time in a couple of days. . . . .

steph

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crni, most of the time i love your posts and we've shared some laughs, but i have to disagree with you on this. if you go back and reread that thread (i just read it for the first time), the poster who got "attacked" did the attacking first. i've seen so much of that here, where someone asks a question or someone vents about an occurence, and a newbie decides to tell us how we're wrong. i'm glad she had such wonderful psych instructors and is friends with people who are experienced in psych, but psych is not dementia and having friends with experience doesn't mean that she has any. not once did i see her state that she had personal experience in dealing with alzheimer's pts.

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No posts to that thread for nearly a year, so while that thread did have to be redirected by moderators a couple of times, I don't know that it really reflects much of the current "personality" of Allnurses.

To request moderator action on a particular post, it is best to click on 'Report Post' so that it comes to our attention without the negativity being spread to other posts or threads. As volunteers, we're limited in the number of threads that we can read in a timely fashion. A few forums currently don't have any assigned moderators, so we're often doing it by committee. We rely on members to help us identify Terms of Service violations.

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

Specifically, for stevielynn:

Page 7, 8, 11,19,21,

It wasn't until the 22 page or so that there was ANY strong intervention by the moderator....which I find wrong...

because, in my opinion, the minute someone refers to another nurse point blank as a TROLL?? or brain damaged (anomaly) or says her patients should be fearful?? In my opinion those who did so should have been removed, or at least reprimanded...this went on for several pages before anyone said a word!!

NOT OKAY!!

This is a new nurse, PEOPLE!!

I guess some REALLY DO EAT THEIR OWN YOUNG...while some just look on and ignore...

it's sickening.

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

So....let me get this straight....the behaviour of calling a person a troll is excused because the poster said her opinion strongly???

This is EXACTLY what bugs me about this kind of stuff...it's like saying, "well, he hit me first!!" So therefore, it's supposed to be OKAY!!

NOT!

Yes, it's an older thread...but, do you realize that this what people are talking about when discussing lateral violence in the workplace? This is a prime example of what this kind of behaviour entails....

I am surprised how it is being "excused" away....

That somehow, the one poster "deserved" to be called names and treated so badly by "seasoned" nurses....

give me a break.

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

Tazzi, the POINT HERE ISN"T:

the newbie's experience level

the newbie's understanding of the other posters points...

THE POINT IS THAT THE OTHER POSTERS REFERRED TO HER AS A TROLL, STATED THAT HER PATIENTS WERE FEARFUL (AS IF TO IMPLY THAT SHE IS SOMEHOW A NURSE ONE SHOULD FEAR) AND REFERRED TO HER BRAIN IE, THINKING AS AN ANOMALY....

NOW...please tell me, who in the world deserves that kind of speech?

Who deserves to be treated like that?

Are you, Tazzi, defending people who name call, and refer to new nurses as brain anomalies?

That's just wrong on so many levels.....

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Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

And my final word:

While I can appreciate that moderators cannot be omnipresent and omniscient, I don't think as adults, as supposed professionals, we should have to have a "hall monitor" to keep us in line!

Clearly, calling someone a troll??? and referring to her patients as being in fear of her???

It just seems to me that moderators should not have to be telling anyone here "how to behave"....the fact that the moderator had to almost shut the thread down twice tells you how far our profession has not come in the realm of nurturing young nurses....

Personally, these so-called experienced communicators totally blew it with this young nurse....they had ample opportunity to step back, state their opinion, support her...and leave it at that....

reducing themselves to a jeering crowd of namecalling brick throwers shows me that they are in no way shape or form ready to be considered professional....unless they want to be known as bullies...because that is what this was....BULLYING...

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

Perception is so interesting. I don't see what you are talking about, to the degree you say, CRNI. If anything, I wish the forum could be moderated just a smidgen less.

Anonymity always tempts people to act badly. So if some become abrasive while anonymous on the internet -- I certainly wouldn't think that reflects badly on the entire nursing profession. It is reflective of human behavior while being anonymous.

p.s. and I am mortified that in this thread, in 2006, I was rendering opinions about nursing care. Pre-nursing student that I am. Embarrassing.

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Tazzi, the POINT HERE ISN"T:

the newbie's experience level

the newbie's understanding of the other posters points...

THE POINT IS THAT THE OTHER POSTERS REFERRED TO HER AS A TROLL, STATED THAT HER PATIENTS WERE FEARFUL (AS IF TO IMPLY THAT SHE IS SOMEHOW A NURSE ONE SHOULD FEAR) AND REFERRED TO HER BRAIN IE, THINKING AS AN ANOMALY....

NOW...please tell me, who in the world deserves that kind of speech?

Who deserves to be treated like that?

Are you, Tazzi, defending people who name call, and refer to new nurses as brain anomalies?

That's just wrong on so many levels.....

Okay.....I'll grant you that calling someone a troll based on her comments like that was overboard, BUT....posters like that one can get dander up very quickly around here by saying the majority of the posters are wrong without having the experience to back it up. While saying that one's pts would not be in a good position having a person like that as their nurse is harsh and cruel, so is telling a bunch of seasoned nurses that we are wrong in what we do/how we do it. Stating an opinion is fine, but some of these newbies have been so vocal on here that I have a mental picture of being backed into a corner by one of them, yelling at me.

Do I defend people who name call? No. Do I understand why people get pushed to that point? Oh, heck yeah.

And may I ask why you're yelling at me?

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