1. Ambulances for clearly non-emergent conditions (my personal most notables are of dental pain and a "possible UTI" but I know they're used for far more silly complaints than that. Just the two I've seen myself).
2. Chief complaint of fever, yet they have not so much as taken a temp at home, and if so, even taken tylenol or ibuprofen
3. Mom who brings in all 3 kids because they all have colds at the same time.
4. I'm allergic to tylenol, ibuprofen, codeine, aspirin, hydrocodone, oxycodone, morphine, and zofran. All of them have caused anaphylaxis.
5. The patient that claims their police report PROVES their medications were stolen.
Had an elderly couple that looked quite sweet (was I ever wrong), be triaged and after waiting about fifteen minutes at the most.... Start complaining that the health care system has failed them. Asking where all the doctors are.
They saw a doctor walk by with a coffee in his hand (a doctor who happened to be coming to our area to help with the patient overflow that we had going) and made the remark "oh isn't that nice! That doctor would rather have a break than see his patients! Wouldn't I love to go eat something?" I was furious!
I should also mention that the reason for their visit was the least urgent complaint in the department, and totally something they could have seen their family MD about.
They continued to get louder and more vocal and riling up the other patients. I've never been so annoyed!
"...and I have a really high pain tolerance." You and half the population say that. "NO, YOU DON'T, PEOPLE WITH A HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE ARE USUALLY HALF DEAD WHEN THEY GET HERE".
"it's that little pink pill... "THE PREGNANCY MULTIVITAMIN?"
"the kind of insulin you get in the pen, I don't know the name...
"37 is a fever for me, my temp is usually 35." "I DON'T CARE".
"they always need a butterfly for me" I'VE NEEDED TO USE A BUTTERFLY ONCE IN 15 YEARS, THAT WAS ON A JUNKIE, ARE YOU A JUNKIE?"
"how long is the wait?" "I'M AFRAID I NO LONGER ATTEMPT TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, NOTHING I SAY WILL SATISFY YOU"
"unbearable...severe...I can't even breathe...get me a wheelchair" from someone who walked in from the parking lot without visible trouble "BY THE TIME I FIND ONE YOU MIGHT AS WELL CRAWL"
Anyone who thinks they should go first that has a fresh coffee in their hand.
Family that answer for the patient, especially if the question is "rate your pain from 1 to 10."
Family that pile in the triage booth five at a time, and everyone gives their opinion, at the same time.
"I need to lie down, right now." or "I'm going to pass out" with normal vitals, when there are four people saying the same thing, and ONE triage stretcher that needs to be saved for the nearly dead. I
have actually said this- "Ok, well I literally have nowhere for anyone to lay down so when you do pass out, give me a wave and lay down on the WR floor"
There are exceptions to every single one of these complaints, about 2% of the time. They keep me humble. But 98% of the time...arghh.
I was in triage one day a few weeks ago. I swear that everyone who signed in with tooth pain (cracked tooth, etc) put their CC on their intake form as: tooth pain/chest pain. Apparently word on the street is that the old CP will get you seen "right away."
Honestly the list of things that irritate me on a daily, if not hourly basis are endless.... here are but a few.
- I too, DESPISE the carry on with regard to insertion of an IV. It's 10 seconds of your life. I understand your apprehension if you have been butchered before, but it was not me. These days I say "you have two choices, I will do it for you now and I am very, very good at it, you will be my 28th today. Or, you can wait for the junior doctor to come and have a go".
-I want to know why people think that saying they are "dizzy" changes anything when they clearly are not.
-I want to ask a patient who has been investigated up the wazoo for their mild, non-specific belly pain thinks we can possibly do for them at 2am on a Sunday.
-Sleazy, needy, useless, smelly, multiply diseased, personality challenged men who come to see the pretty nurses and be waited on.
-General practitioners who send patients who are clearly DYING by private transport to languish while waiting to be triaged and treated but send a UTI in an ambulance. I will never, ever, understand this.
-Chief complaint- "Cramping lower abdo pain and PV bleeding, last menstruation 4/52 ago". Given narcotics by paramedics, 22yrs old, with mum saying "oh, but it's never been this bad before." Yep sweetheart, you have your period, again.
-"My blood pressure is 160/90, I've checked it at least 6 times today". Please, stop taking your blood pressure, have a wine and watch a movie.
-Self righteous piffle that the occasional nurse feels the need to verbalise about patients rights and so on. My colleagues are largely very ethical and caring people and when you make comments like "the patient has a right to compassionate and unbiased care" it makes me VERY cranky. Especially after he has punched a half dozen of us while trying to provide him with said care. Keep it to yourself, no-one likes you. You look after him.
-Lastly- a shout out to one of our new interns. Mate, you walked all the way from bed 15 to interrupt me, while I was on the phone, to ask me to do vital signs on a patient you have been assessing for 15 minutes. When I asked you very politely if you would mind doing it as it is plainly obvious we are getting slammed you were not clever or wise enough to smile and say yes. In fact, in a round about way you said no. You, are going to have a tough 8 weeks.
CC of SOB, yet asks to go out and smoke. That's a no.
Pt asks, "when is the doctor gonna come back and tell me the results of my tests?" I explain he's in a trauma and it be a while. Pt freaks. "I've been here four hours! I should go first!" CC of missed period x 4 months but didnt think to do an hpt. I had already seen the bloodwork and wet prep and was dying to tell her that her pregnancy, BV, and trich weren't going anywhere before the doc finished in the trauma :)
2 for 1 kids with colds, or parent with one CC who also signs in their kid. All non emergent, of course.
-Any man who comes in the ED with chief complaint of STD, then attempt to hit on me. No, I don't want to go out with you. When I say "I'm married", I hear, "you are not wearing a ring". Then it goes to "sir, you are here for penile discharge and painful urination after admitting to having unprotected sex with "some woman" you just met last week. Why would I be interested in you, even if I wasnt married? I don't have to explain why I don't wear a ring". I even told a pt this before.
-Making sexually overtone comments about my profession, stop it, it's not cute and it don't score brownie points with me.
-Clearly taking things the "wrong way" because I'm being nice to you. No, I don't want to go out with you, just because we are discussing sports while I'm inserting your IV doesn't mean I'm interested in you personally. So please don't ask me about my personal life.
Don't know if this was mentioned yet, but when people say "he's diabetic! He has to eat!" (Especially when they just walked through the ER door. )
Don't know who is educating these people, but most often their sugars are >200 and they're yelling that they must eat now!! Ugh I hate this. I very sweetly told this man whose wife was bugging me the other day about this, that his sugar is actually high right now, so it will be fine if he waits an hour Til dinner arrives. He looked so surprised, like no one had ever told him he doesn't have to eat around the clock. No wonder their sugars are all high...
-Any man who comes in the ED with chief complaint of STD, then attempt to hit on me. No, I don't want to go out with you. When I say "I'm married", I hear, "you are not wearing a ring". Then it goes to "sir, you are here for penile discharge and painful urination after admitting to having unprotected sex with "some woman" you just met last week. Why would I be interested in you, even if I wasnt married? I don't have to explain why I don't wear a ring". I even told a pt this before.
-Making sexually overtone comments about my profession, stop it, it's not cute and it don't score brownie points with me.
-Clearly taking things the "wrong way" because I'm being nice to you. No, I don't want to go out with you, just because we are discussing sports while I'm inserting your IV doesn't mean I'm interested in you personally. So please don't ask me about my personal life.
IrishErin
256 Posts
Had an elderly couple that looked quite sweet (was I ever wrong), be triaged and after waiting about fifteen minutes at the most.... Start complaining that the health care system has failed them. Asking where all the doctors are.
They saw a doctor walk by with a coffee in his hand (a doctor who happened to be coming to our area to help with the patient overflow that we had going) and made the remark "oh isn't that nice! That doctor would rather have a break than see his patients! Wouldn't I love to go eat something?" I was furious!
I should also mention that the reason for their visit was the least urgent complaint in the department, and totally something they could have seen their family MD about.
They continued to get louder and more vocal and riling up the other patients. I've never been so annoyed!