What is your most outrageous medical emergency repsonse in a correctional facility

Pattiecake · Dec 1, 2004

Had a real gross 1033 a few years ago. Guy was working in the woodshop where they make vast amounts of furniture for contracts. A saw he was using somehow "bucked" they say (personally don't know much about saws) and it just about cut his head off. It cut across his neck. Anyhow, our little bandaid station managed to hold him together until ambulance arrived. He lived, and went back to work in the shop after a few months.

Another recent good 1033 was a fake seizure. He was pretty good though. Able to withstand the old smelling salts, only barely, almost inperceptbly winced with painful stimuli, like sternal pressure, nailbed pressure, eyeball pressure. But we did find his breaking point. We discussed the need for the MD to do a rectal. All of a sudden the eyelids started fluttering and the "where am I" stuff started.

Why do they all think we nurses were born yesterday?

:rotfl: :chuckle

Jailhouse RN · Dec 8, 2004

Outragious!?!? 2 C batteries and a 6" piece of wire in an inmates rectum. When asked why they were in there he said......."How do you think I will light my smokes."

Pattiecake · Dec 11, 2004

Nurse is doing the intake screening on a new guy at 2330 hours and he starts seizuring. No known seizure disorder stated so far in the intake process, so long story short, he goes to the ER. They have no idea why he had a seizure and attribute it to probable ingestion of something, so he gets sent to my infirmary. He is on 24 hour obs by a CO just in case he has anything packed. By golly in a few hours he has a poop and whadya think they found? 3 tinfoil packaged cigarettes and a bic lighter. :nono: And to think this is a non-smoking prison. Kinda gives a whole new meaning to getting packed for prison, doesn't it?

:rotfl: :chuckle

Dixiecup · Dec 30, 2004

Wasn't really an emergency after I got there. The guy had been beat so badly (by another inmate) his eyeball was popped out on the side of his face.Dead as a doornail.

Then there's the guy who got majic shave thrown on his face andthen lit on fire. Not pretty and I'll never forget the smell of burning flesh.:stone

stevierae · Dec 30, 2004

Damn. I have a new respect for prison beatings and assessing the hell out of those prisoners who've received them--I have never worked corrections, but happened to be in ICU where there were 3 different prisoners who had developed rhabdomyolysis secondary to severe beatings. I didn't even know what it was--had to read up on it. Scary!!!

HEDNURSE · Feb 15, 2005

THE BEST HAD TO BE DURING AM DIABETIC CLINIC I HAD AN INMATE COME AND WISH TO TALK TO ME PRIVATELY AS I STATED THIS IS AS PRIVATE AS YOU ARE GOING TO GET HE THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL ME THAT HE HAD AN APPLE UP HIS ***!!! :chuckle WITH A STRAIGHT POKER FACE AS I AM DYING INSIDE PROCEEDED TO ASK WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? HE THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL ME THAT THE MORNING PREVIOUS HE WAS IN HIS CELL FLOGGIN DE LOGGIN WITH AN APPLE IN HIS orifice FOR SRTIMULATION BECAUSE HE HAD READ IT SOME WHERE AND BEFORE HE EJACULATED THE APPLE "SHOT UP" INTO HIS ***!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HANDLED IT QUIETLY AND IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER BUT HAD TO SEE IT....................... SURE NUFF THERE IT WAS A PATCH OF GREEN AND RED PEEKING OUT OF THE orifice NUFF OF THAT! WAITED FOR THE DOC AS HE SART IN THE WAITING ROOM THE DOC CAME IN AND I PULLED HIM OVER AND DISCRETELY EXPLAINED THE SCENARIO ......... NOW VISUALIZE THAT THE NURSES STATION WHERE WE WERE IS ADJACENT TO THE WAITING ROOM ONLY A WAIST HIGH WALL WITH ONE WAY GLASS ON TOP.................. HE THEN SAID .... NO WAIT.... YELLED "HE HAS AN APPLE UP HIS ***!!! WELL GET THE APPLE CORER AND MAYBE WE SHOULD WRITE HIM UP FOR ATTEMPTING TO MAKE PRUNO OR CONCEALING A WEAPON!!! I SMILED BUT INSIDE WAS DYING LAUGHING!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY AS THIS APPLE WAS UP THERE ALMOST TWENTY HOURS AND REQUIRED SURGERY FOR REMOVAL OF SAID FRUIT AND TO TOP IT OFF DO TO THE LENGTH OF TIME BEFORE REPORTING THIS ENDED UP GETTING A COLOSTOMY AND HAVING THE BACK DOOR SURGICALLY CLOSE4D AS A RESULT OF THE NECROTIC TISSUE FORMED FROM THE EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. .................... SO THE MORAL IS ....................... WELL YA KNOW!~!!! :rotfl:

lvnprntlc · Feb 20, 2005

after 6 years...i've seen a lot.

one of the strangest ones was a pencil inserted up the member.

the inmate had some weird sexual practices to say the least! :uhoh3:

MamaTheNurse, BSN, RN · Feb 20, 2005

Another recent good 1033 was a fake seizure. He was pretty good though. Able to withstand the old smelling salts, only barely, almost inperceptbly winced with painful stimuli, like sternal pressure, nailbed pressure, eyeball pressure. But we did find his breaking point. We discussed the need for the MD to do a rectal. All of a sudden the eyelids started fluttering and the "where am I" stuff started.
Why do they all think we nurses were born yesterday?
:rotfl: :chuckle

holy moley - the minute you did a sternal rub on me, you would have had to peel me off the ceiling!!!

lvnprntlc · Feb 21, 2005

sacramento county jail here :)

Audreyfay · Feb 21, 2005

You folks are an entirely different breed of nurses. You have my attention, and respect!

HEDNURSE · Mar 7, 2005

after 6 years...i've seen a lot.
one of the strangest ones was a pencil inserted up the member.
the inmate had some weird sexual practices to say the least!

the state has a guy in the psyche unit who shoves staples shredded milk cartons sheets of paper and even pens into his member.......................... what a bug this guy is!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then he also tries to bring an empty coffee jar full of his so called bloody stool but after taking such thing ya know the one with the cherry flavored smell it turns out to be low and behold kool aid ..................... but it was fun watching a rookie whoon and provide extra tender care to this skid lol til she was instructed on the neediness and attention seeking behavior ........... what a freaky skid lol

froggygolfrn · Mar 10, 2005

El Dorado County. Thanks. T

I worked in both Placer and El Dorado Counties for CFMG.